An Open Letter to Parents from David Kaufman,Director of Outreach and Education at JACS (Jewish Addiction Community Services)
Dear Parents,
You’ve spent tireless years raising your children, endless diaper changes, wiping noses, helping them with homework, soothing their physical and emotional hurts, laughing with and loving them. Then - something went wrong. Something you thought only happened to other people’s families. Alcohol, drugs, and other self-destructive behaviors entered your child’s life, changing everything.
You sadly wondered, “What happened to my sweet innocent child?”, “What did I do wrong?” and “What can I do to fix them?” You feel confused, betrayed, guilty, angry and ashamed. The other children or relationships are beginning to suffer. Sometimes you falsely believe that once one crisis has passed the problem will go away, but it doesn’t. Denial, not asking for educated advice and guidance from experienced professionals, fear and shame are common obstacles to healthy change.
We can help. At JACS we have extensive experience and success in helping parents and family members dealing with addiction issues.
Educate and empower yourselves so you can make a healthy difference in your and your family’s life. Call us we’ll walk through the process with you.
The support / educational group meets every Monday evening a private home in the Bathurst Wilson area. Rules of strict anonymity must be agreed to before attending. If you are interested in attending or more information please contact me.
I know it is difficult or embarrassing for many to show up at a group like this, but those feelings only last a few minutes and in exchange you'll receive a life time of support.
Blessings,
David Kaufman 647.238.3480
DavidK@JacsToronto.org
Director of Outreach and Education JACS
Cert. Addictions Therapist and Studies
C.S.A.T. (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist) Candidate
Narrative and Solution Focused Therapist
By Rabbi Avram Rothman
The purpose of kissing the Torah as it is “paraded” through the Shul before and after reading it, is to give honour to the Torah. This is very different from a special occasion when one might need to pray in front of the Torah.
There are times of great need or distress when someone might open the Aron HaKodesh (Holy
Ark) that contains the Torah and might even put their hand on the Torah in order to “pour out their heart” during a specifically difficult time. An example might be the sudden or continuing suffering of a loved one or a precarious health situation.
This is usually done in private and certainly not during the prayer service itself.
When one is given the opportunity to kiss the Torah before or directly after a Torah reading service, it is solely to show love and respect for the Torah. Such an instance should take a few seconds at most and does not lend itself to a lengthy prayer or supplication at that time.
It is not the time for personal prayers or requests.
On that basis, when men or women have the opportunity to kiss that Torah, one needs to
remember that they are doing so as a sign of respect, not a time for personal prayers and should not be longer than a second or two per person. One who uses this time to touch the Torah and say a personal prayer taking longer than a second or two is actually doing something wrong in that they are:
1. Sending the wrong message to others who reasonably presume the person is overwrought
with emotion as a result of a loved one in great pain and suffering
or
2. Are delaying the entire Congregation from prayer which is a serious error on the art of anyone to do.
Therefore, individuals of either gender who are in a situation that they are able to kiss the Torah, must be careful to not misinterpret what they are doing and the purpose of it. We have a number of people who make this mistake weekly and it is not a positive thing they are doing.
In addition, one should make a point of kissing the Torah by putting their hand on the cover and then kissing their hand. One should specifically not use a side or chumash to kiss the Torah.
It is a great privilege for any of us, male or female to be able to show our respect for the Torah by appropriately kissing it. We must be sure that in doing so we follow the halachot and not turn our good intentions into negative actions.
by Rabbi Avram Rothman
Activities of Pleasure
1 One should not purchase an object of joy that will be available after Tisha B’Av for the same
price.
2 Building for beauty or pleasure not required for dwelling should be suspended.
3 Painting, wallpapering and general home decoration should not be done.
4 Similarly, one should not plant for pleasure.
Eating Meat and Drinking Wine
1 The custom is to refrain from eating meat, poultry or drinking wine during the nine days.
2 The prohibition of meat includes foods cooked with meat or meat fat. However, foods cooked in
a clean pot used for meat may be eaten.
3 Eating meat and drinking wine is permitted for Shabbat. Even one who starts Shabbat early on
Friday afternoon or extends the third meal of Shabbat into Saturday night may also eat meat and
drink wine at those times.
4 Similarly, one may drink the wine of Havdalah.
5 Meat and wine are also permitted at a meal in honour of a mitzvah like brit milah, redemption of
the first born, and a siyum.
6 A person who requires meat because of weakness or illness, including small children and
pregnant or nursing women who have difficulty eating dairy, may eat meat. However, whenever
possible poultry is preferable to meat.
Laundering
1 Laundering is prohibited even for use after Tisha B’Av.
2 The prohibition of laundering includes linens, tablecloths, and towels.
3 A person who has no clean clothes may wash what he needs until the Shabbat before Tisha
B’Av.
4 Children’s diapers and clothing that constantly get dirty may be washed by need even during
the week of Tisha B’Av, in private.
5 Laundering for the purpose of a mitzvah is permitted.
6 One may polish shoes with liquid or wax polish, but should avoid shining shoes.
Wearing Freshly Laundered Clothing
1 It is forbidden to wear freshly laundered clothing during the nine days. This includes all clothing
except that which is worn to absorb perspiration.
2 Therefore, one must prepare before the nine days by wearing freshly laundered clothing for a
short time so that they may be worn during the nine days. Socks, undershirts and underwear
need not be prepared.
3 One may wear freshly laundered Shabbat clothing, as well as use clean tablecloths and towels.
Changing bed linen though is prohibited.
5 Since one may wear freshly laundered garments on Shabbat, if one forgot or was unable to
prepare enough garments before the nine days, he may change for Friday night and then again
on Shabbat morning. These garments may then be worn during the week.
7 Fresh garments and Shabbat clothing may be worn in honour of a mitzvah for example at a brit
milah for the parents, mohel, and sandek.
Wearing, Buying and Making New Clothes, Repairing Garments
1 While wearing new clothing is permitted until the 1st of Av, during the nine days it is prohibited.
2 One may not buy new clothes or shoes even for use after Tisha B’Av, except in a case of great
necessity, for example for one’s wedding.
3 If one forgot or was unable to buy special shoes needed for Tisha B’Av, he may do so during
the nine days.
Bathing and Swimming
1 The custom is not to bathe for pleasure even in cold water.
2 Bathing in cold water for medical reasons or to remove dirt or perspiration is permitted. (Where
cold water is required, hot water may be added to cold water as long as the mixture is not
comfortably warm.)
3 Soaping or shampooing and washing with hot or warm water are prohibited - unless it is
required for medical reasons or to remove the dirt and perspiration.
4 Swimming is prohibited except for medical reasons. Similarly, one may take a quick dip in a
pool to remove dirt or sweat.
6 One who bathes every Friday in honour of Shabbat with hot water, soap and shampoo may do
so on the Friday before Tisha B’Av.
The "Three Weeks" between the 17th of Tammuz (July 5) and the Tisha B’Av (July 26) have historically been days of misfortune for the Jewish people. During this time, both the First and Second Temples were destroyed, among other terrible tragedies.
On Shabbat during the Three Weeks, the Haftorahs are taken from chapters in Isaiah and Jeremiah dealing with the Temple's destruction and the exile of the Jewish people.
During this time, some aspects of mourning are observed. We minimize celebrations. In addition, we avoid potentially dangerous or risky endeavours.
ASPECTS OF MOURNING DURING THE THREE WEEKS
(1) No weddings are held. (However, engagement ceremonies are permitted.)
(2) We do not listen to music. Live or recorded.
(3) We avoid all public celebrations- especially those which involve musical accompaniment.
(4) No haircuts or shaving.
(5) We do not say the blessing She-hechianu on new food or clothes, except on Shabbat.
THE NINE DAYS
The period commencing with Rosh Chodesh Av is called the "Nine Days." During this time, a stricter level of mourning is observed, in accordance with the Talmudic statement (Ta'anit 26): "When the month of Av begins, we reduce our joy.”
(1) We avoid purchasing any items that bring joy.
(2) We suspend home improvements, or planting of trees and flowers.
(3) We avoid litigation with non-Jews, since this is not a positive time of year for the Jews.
(4) We abstain from the consumption of meat (including poultry) and wine. These foods are symbolic of the Temple service, and are generally expressions of joy.
• On Shabbat, meat and wine are permitted. This applies also to any other seuduat mitzvah -- for example, at a Brit Milah or at the completion of a tractate of Talmud.
(5) We refrain from wearing newly laundered garments, or laundering any clothes.
• Fresh clothes may be worn for Shabbat.
• The clothing of small children, which gets dirty frequently, may be washed during the Nine Days.
• Clothes may not be laundered even if done in preparation for after Tisha B'Av, or even if done by a nonJew. (6) We do not bathe for pleasure
• It is permitted to bathe in order to remove dirt or perspiration, or for medical reasons. This may be done
only in cool water.
• However, the body should be washed in parts, rather than all at one time.
• Bathing in warm water is permitted on Friday in honour of Shabbat.
By: DC Weisswasser
In the second perek of Megillas Rus, Boaz praises Rus for all of her valiant efforts and gives her a brocha that Hashem should pay her in full for all of her efforts because she has come to shelter herself, under His wings so to speak, Lachasos tachas kenofov . The Brisker Rov ztl tells us that there are two terms used frequently in Tanach to describe a shelter. One is a magain, which could be a shield or, like the term hagana; a protection. This type of shelter could be that which someone chooses to go in or out of; much like a bus shelter. If it rains or snows, one enters. Once things outside seem more pleasant, it is abandoned. Rus however is described in her relationship to Torah as it is serving her as a machseh, a fortified type of dwelling, like a machsan, a bomb shelter. One doesn’t simply enter and exit this type of dwelling. If one stays here, it’s because there’s a danger in leaving. One has no choice but to stay. Rus was praised in that she regarded Judaism not merely as a shelter but as life itself!! When Rus chooses to convert, she pleads with her mother in- law :”Al tifgee bee, “ which means according to many rishonim, “don’t kill me”. A big lesson is derived from these words. As we approach Shavuos, when we reaffirm our commitment to Torah, we are to aim for a commitment that is not just a nice supplement to life, but rather we must regard torah as the only way to live and without it , Heaven forbid, life would have no meaning. I wish one and all a very meaningful kabbolas hatorah.
How to Celebrate Shavuos 5775: by Rabbi Yossi Michalowicz
Shabbos immediately precedes Shavuos this year. Therefore, one should ideally light a two or three day Yahrzeit
candle prior to Friday evening candle lighting, so that there will be a pre-existing flame from which the women may
light from on Saturday and Sunday evening.
One is not permitted to prepare for Yom Tov on the preceding Shabbos. Therefore, For this year of 5775, the
earliest time to make preparations for Yom Tov, light Yom Tov candles, and to make Kiddush on Saturday
night is 9:26 PM. (It would be more ideal after 9:34 PM or even more ideal after 9:56 PM.)
One makes 2 blessings on the candle lighting: One for the Mitzvah of lighting the Yom Tov candles and the other
“Shehechiyanu” blessing. Ideally, the women should light by the time the men arrive home from Shul. However, if they
did not, they may light the entire night.
One may sleep on Shabbos; thereby having the strength to stay up Shavuos night. However, one should not express
this before sleeping, as such a verbalization would degrade the holiness of the day.
One should ideally finish eating Shalosh Seudos before 5:00 PM in order to be hungry for the Yom Tov meal.
Additionally, one should ideally daven Shabbos Mincha before eating Shalosh Seudos. If one forgot or was negligent
and did not eat the third meal in time, it may still be eaten afterwards. However, a full meal should not be eaten then.
There is a well known minhag to bring flowers into shul and one's home as a remembrance that on Shavuos we are
judged on "Peiros Ha'ilon" - fruits. However, one should not cut off branches from fruit bearing trees for this purpose
because of the Torah prohibition of "Bal Tashchis”.
Kiddush on the first night should include blessings of 1) Wine, 2) Kiddush, 3) Candle, 4) Havdala, 5) Shehechiyanu.
Many have the minhag to eat a milchige [dairy] meal (and milk and honey) on Shavuos. However, one is also obliged
to eat fleishig [beef] to be yotze [discharges his obligation of] Simchas Yom Tov with meat.
In order to satisfy all opinions, it is preferable to have a meat meal both in the evening and in the day of both days of
Yom Tov [4 meals], and to have a dairy meal or snack in the day before your meat meal.
If one finds it difficult to eat meat so late at night, there are opinions that permit you to eat dairy meals at night.
All agree that you should have meat meals at least one time on each of the two days of Yom Tov.
If one eats milchig but not "hard cheese" (which requires one to wait six hours before eating meat) one need not
bentch and wash again before eating meat. However, one should wash his /her mouth well and the tablecloth should
be changed. (Other poskim require one to bentch).
There is a custom to stay up the night of Shavuos and learn Torah. This is based on the Midrash which says that the
Jewish people overslept the night before Matan Torah and Hashem had to awaken them to receive the Torah.
Therefore we stay up all night to rectify their oversight.
The Arizal [The Kabalist Rabbi Yitzchok Luria] writes that one who does not sleep the night of Shavuos and toils in
Torah is assured to live out the year and no harm will occur to him.
There is a compilation of Torah learning known as "Tikkun Lay'l Shavuos" which has The Zohar and the writings of
The Ari'zal as its source, and many have the minhag to say/learn this on Shavuos night.
Generally women should not say the "Tikkun Lay'l Shavuos". However, some say that a woman who counted all the
days of Sefiras Ha'omer may learn the portions of the Tikkun which are from Tanach.
One who stayed awake all night of Shavuos should, after Alos Hashachar (dawn), use the restroom, wash his hands
and then make the berachos of "al netilas yadayim" and "asher yotzar", and listen to Birchas Hatorah from someone
who slept.
One who stayed awake all night should not make a beracha on his tzitzis. Rather, he should make the beracha on his
Tallis Gadol and have in mind to be yotze for his tzitzis with the same beracha. Someone who does not wear a Tallis
Gadol, should hear the beracha from someone else who will discharge his obligation.
One who stayed awake all night should listen to the berachos of "Elokai Neshama" and "Hamaveir Shayna Mayeinoi"
from someone who slept during the night.
One who goes to sleep after Alos Hashachar Shavuos morning (or on any day) does not say the beracha of Hamapil.
To summarize, for those who have stayed awake all night, the minhag of Ashkenazim is that after Alos Hashachar
(4:32 AM) one goes to the bathroom, washes ones hands, makes al netilas yadayim, and asher yatzar, and then
listens to and is yotze [discharges his obligation of] Birchas Hatorah, Elokai Neshama, and birchas Hamaavir Chevlei
Sheynah, from someone who slept, and then one says all rest of the usual morning berachos for oneself.
While reciting Birchos Hatorah on Erev Shavuos, one may clearly stipulate that his berachos should be in effect only
until the next morning. In this case, he may recite the berachos on Shavuos morning although he did not sleep.
If no person who slept is available, many poskim rule that the berachos of Elokai Neshama and Hamaavir Chevlai
Sheynah may be recited even by one who did not sleep.
One may not make any Yom Tov preparations on the first day of Yom Tov for the second night, light candles, or make
Kiddush until after 9:28 PM.
Second night candle lighting is done in the same way as on the first night. Kiddush has the blessings on 1) Wine, 2)
Kiddush, and 3) Shehechiyanu. It does not have blessings for the Candle or Havdala.
Halacha of the Week by Rabbi Avram Rothman Aish Thornhill Community Shul
The upcoming holiday of Shavuot, aside from its most common name, has several others: Chag HaKatzir (The Holiday of the Harvest), Atzeres (Assembly), Yom HaBikkurim (Day of the offering of the first fruits), and Zman Mattan Toraseinu (The Time of the Giving of the Torah).
Yet, for many of us it has an additional name: Chag HaGvinah - The Holiday of the Cheese!
Interestingly, having cheesecake on Shavuot is one custom with which many non-practicing Jews are stringent! Have you ever met someone who turned down a piece of cheesecake? But where does this time-honoured traditional custom of consuming cheesecake on Shavuot come from?
It seems that the earliest mention of such a custom is by the Rema, the authoritative decisor for all Ashkenazic Jewry, who cites the ‘prevailing custom’ of eating dairy items specifically on Shavuot.
Although there are many reasons raised through the ages to explain this custom, the Rema provides an enigmatic one, to be a commemoration of the special sacrifice, the Shtei HaLechem (Two Loaves) offered exclusively on Shavuot during the times of the Temple.
However, since the connection between dairy food and a bread offering seems tenuous, the Machatzis HaShekel offers a remarkable glimpse as to the Rema’s intent.
The halacha states that one may not use the same loaf of bread at both a dairy meal and a meat meal. The reason for this is that there may be some (possibly unnoticed) residue on the bread, and thus one might come to eat a forbidden mixture of milk and meat.
Therefore, in order to properly commemorate this unique sacrifice which had two loaves of bread, one should have a separate dairy meal aside from the traditional meat meal one has on the holiday. This way, he will be mandated to have separate breads for each of these meals, as the loaf meant for the dairy meal cannot be used for the meat meal and vice versa.
Therefore, by having an additional dairy meal, the outcome is a suitable commemoration for this sacrifice, as now on Shavuot, two separate distinct breads are being served. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein cites this explanation as the proper one for maintaining two separate types of meals on Shavuot, one milk and one meat.
So now we can appreciate that by eating cheesecake on Shavuot, we are actually commemorating a special sacrifice!
Reprinted from Newsletter of Rabbi Bitterman of Ateres Mordechai
If you intended to continue eating or drinking, but by mis- take or out of habit you said the Beracha Acharona, there is a doubt whether or not you need to say another beracha before eating. Therefore, to eliminate the doubt, you should listen to another person say the beracha and say Amen, before eat- ing. Alternatively, you can go out of the house and back in- side, which invalidates the previous beracha even if it is still in force. If all of these are impossible and you want to eat or drink immediately, you can think the words of the beracha in your mind, without saying them aloud, and then resume eat- ing. (Beur Halacha 190:2 “Yevarech Beracha”, Kaf HaChayim 190:8)
Legal Matters #3 Small Claims Court: It’s time to SUE:
1. Last entry was the “demand letter” where the amount owing was described and the threat of a lawsuit ended this important letter in trying to collect one’s debt.
2. The ten days have passed and now it’s time to sue them in small claims court.
The plaintiff’s claim:
1. When you sue, or advance the claim, you are called the plaintiff. The other side is called the defendant and both sides are called “parties” to a suit.
2. Download a form, called a “plaintiff’s claim” or number 7a in the Small Claims Court forms.
3. You must file the suit in the proper branch of small claims court. They are not connected in the slightest. If the event (called the cause of action) took place in Toronto, then file in the Toronto court at 47 Sheppard Ave. east, 3rd floor, at Yonge and Sheppard. If the event, or the debtor lives in Richmond Hill, you must file there.
4. Exceptions to the rule: if the “cause of action” took place in Toronto, you live in Toronto and you want to deal with it in Toronto, but the debtor lives in Richmond Hill (for instance) you can still file in Toronto. You must fill out a special form called an “Affidavit of Jurisdiction” which is a one page form and very simple to fill out.
5. Filling it out constitutes 5 main parts:
a. The first page—contact information for both parties. If you are an individual, fill in the last name, etc. If you are a company, or another entity, fill in the “last name” as your company name. Your own personal name, if you are a corporation, should not appear on the first page. If you have a paralegal, then they are considered your “representative”. Fill in as much information on the defendant as you can.
b. If there are more than 1 debtor, fill in a form “1a” which is called “additional parties”. Don’t get confused with “additional debtors”. That is not the correct form for this part. You do not have t fill in 3 claims if there are 3 debtors, but only 1 form with the additional 1a attached, which follows the first page.
c. Page 2 of the plantiff’s claim asks what happened, etc. Make sure you put in the very summary events where they ask you and then proceed to describe the events. Best are paragraphs headed by numbers for ease of reading and discussing later on. Start with: the parties and who they are, what happened, and attempts to resolve. Add in any documents that prove the case and will be important in advancing your claim. You refer to these documents as Document 1, 2, 3, etc. throughout the document and put them in at the end. Do not call them exhibits, as that is an incorrect usage of the term here.
d. Add in how much money the debtor owes you, and where you are sending the document.
e. The third page states again how much money you are demanding, date and signature.
f. You must file it in the correct court, pay the $75.00. We will discuss serving it to the defendant next week.
Written by: Reena Basser, Licensed Paralegal. Phone: 416 888 2390—office at Wilson and Bathurst.
Halacha of the Week reprinted from Aish Thornhill Community Shul - Rabbi Rothman
There has been a great amount of talk regarding the concept of Sinat Chinam: Baseless Hatred. One hopes that the more the topic is discussed people would hopefully become sensitized to the seriousness of hating or demeaning another Jew. Nevertheless, it seems that regardless of the amount of discussion and serious ramifications, this still appears to be one of our most difficult Mitzvoth to fulfill!
For our discussion of Halacha this week, I would like to discuss this concept for a moment or two.
First, the expression, Sinat Chinam is misleading. It seems to tell us that baseless hatred or
hating someone for no reason means to hate someone without a cause. That would lend itself to believing that if one has a reason to hate another Jew, it is acceptable. However, what it is actually saying is that Sinat Chinam means hating someone without a
Halachicly acceptable reason. What would such a reason be? For the most part it means to hate someone that the Torah tells us is to be hated. For example, hating someone who is purposely, and thoroughly evil or someone who entraps Jews to convert to another religion.
I would say that few of us, if any, have ever met a Jew who it is Halachicly allowed to hate.
On that basis we now can better understand what it means that Sinat Chinam is one Jew hating another Jew for any reason other than one of the rare times that the Halacha requires us to hate a particular person.
Therefore, as Jews wishing to observe the Torah it is expected of us to make a special effort to not hate another Jew and to treat other Jews who may practice or act somewhat different that we do, with proper respect and dignity.
If we ever come across a Jew who Halacha requires us to hate, we can deal with that at that time. Otherwise, we are obligated and hopefully we are prepared to make the effort to love, care for and treat with dignity every Jew we come into contact with.
May our efforts to accomplish this fundamental and important Mitzvah prove successful and bring us all closer to each other and closer to the ultimate redemption.
Reprinted from Aish/Thornhill Community Shul Bulletin
“U’Sefartem lachem Mi’Mochorat HaShabbat,…”
“And you shall count for yourselves – from the day after the holiday, from the day on
which the waved Omer Offering is brought, seven complete weeks. Until (but not
including) the day after the Seventh Week, you shall count (until) the fiftieth day, and you
shall bring a new Meal Offering to Hashem.”
Jewish Tradition interprets the words “Mi’Mochorat HaShabbat,” as meaning “from the
day after the holiday,” rather than the day after Shabbat, or Sunday. “Holiday” here
means the first day of Passover. Thus, the day of the week on which Shavuot, the fiftieth
day after the beginning of the count, falls, varies and is not always Sunday.
There was a group, called the Tzedukim, who rejected the Traditions of the Rabbis. They
interpreted the Torah literally, and insisted that HaShabbat, as in the above verse, meant
only the Seventh Day; for them, Shavuot therefore always fell on Sunday. They accepted
only the Written Law, but rejected the Oral Law.
For example, when the Torah says, “Lo teva’aru esh b’chol moshvoteichem b’Yom
HaShabbat,” “Do not light any fire in all your dwellings on the Day of Shabbat,” they
understood that to mean that Jews were to stay in cold, dark houses, and eat only cold
food on Shabbat.
The Oral Law would explain that a pre-existing flame, lit before Shabbat, was OK; it was
not the Torah’s intention that we should not have any flame, just that we should not light a
flame! (How could we possibly have survived without hot chicken soup and chulent?)
The beauty of “Halachah,” the Jewish way of life, which recognizes both the Written and
the Oral Law as being of Divine Origin, is that it is able to harmonize statements which
may appear unreasonable by themselves with the clarifying light and interpretation of the
Oral Law, which also came from Sinai.
The Count begins on the night of the sixteenth day of Nisan, preceding the day on which
the Omer Offering was brought at the Temple.
When does the Count end? The Count ends on the forty-ninth night, the night before the
Festival of Shavuot. Shavuot would be the fiftieth night. But it’s not part of the Count.
If one forgets to count at night, he or she repeats the count the following day without a
“bracha,” and then resumes counting with a blessing that night. If one forgets to count in
the daytime as well, it’s “wait till next year” time as far as counting with a “bracha” is
concerned. But one should continue to count on subsequent nights without a “bracha.”
If one is unsure whether one counted, the nightly count should be continued, with a
bracha.
The Missing Fifth – An extract from Rabbi Sacks’ Haggada
Guest Article by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks reprinted from Magen David Newsletter.
Many commentators, among them the Vilna Gaon, have drawn attention to the influence of the number four in connection with the Haggadah. There are four fours:
The four questions,
The four sons,
The four cups of wine,
The four expressions of redemption: ‘
I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians and freehttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png you from their slavery. I will deliver you with a demonstration of My power and with great acts of judgment. I will take you to Me as a nation.’ (Ex.6: 6-7).
It may be, though, that just as an X-ray can reveal an earlier painting beneath the surface of a later one, so beneath the surface of the Haggadah there is another pattern to be discerned. That is what I want to suggest in this chapter.
The first thing to note is that there is, in fact, another ‘four’ on the seder night, namely the four biblical verses whose exposition forms an important part of the Haggadah:
‘An Aramean tried to destroy my father . . .’
‘And the Egyptians ill-treated us and afflicted us . . .’
‘And we cried to the Lord, the God of our fathers . . .’
‘And the Lord brought us out of Egypt . . .’ (Deut. 26:5-8)
There are, then, not four fours, but five.
In early editions of the Talmud tractate Pesachim (118a) there is a passage that perplexed the medieval commentators. It reads: ‘Rabbi Tarfon says: over the fifth cup we recite the great Hallel.’ The medieval commentators were puzzled by this because elsewhere the rabbinic literature speaks about four cups, not five. The Mishnah, for example, states that a poor person must be supplied with enough money to be able to buyhttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png four cups of wine. In both the Babylonian and Jerusalem Talmuds the discussion revolves around the assumption that there are four cups on seder night. How then are we to understand the statement of Rabbi Tarfon that there is a fifth cup?
Among the commentators three views emerged. The first was that of Rashi and the Tosafists. According to them, there are only four cups on the seder night, and it is forbidden to drink a fifth. The statement of Rabbi Tarfon must therefore be a misprint, and the texts of the Talmud should be amended accordingly.
The second was that of Maimonides. He holds that there is a fifth cup, but unlike the other four, it is optionalhttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png rather than obligatory. The Mishnah which teaches that a poor person must be given enough money to buy four cupfuls of wine means that we must ensure that he has the opportunity to fulfil his obligation. It does not extend to the fifth cup which is permitted but not compulsory. Rabbi Tarfon’s statement is to be understood to mean that those who wish to drink a fifth cup should do so during the recitation of the great Hallel.
The third view, that of Ravad of Posquières, a contemporary of Maimonides, is that one should drink a fifth cup. There is a difference in Jewish law between an obligation, hovah, and a religiously significant good deed, mitzvah. The first four cups are obligatory. The fifth is a mitzvah, meaning, not obligatory but still praiseworthy and not merely, as Maimondes taught, optional.
Thus there was a controversy over the fifth cup. Rashi said that we should not drink it; Maimonides that we may; Ravad that we should. What does one do, faced with this kind of disagreement? Jewish law tries wherever possible to propose a solution that pays respect to all views, especially when they are held by great halakhic authorities. The solution in the present case was simple. A fifth cup is poured (out of respect for Ravad and Maimonides) but not drunk (out of respect for Rashi).
When a disagreement occurs in the Talmud which is not resolved, the sages often used the word Teyku, ‘Let it stand’. We believe that such disagreements will be resolved in the time to come when Elijah arrives to announce the coming of the Messiah. One of his roles will be to rule on unresolved halakhic controversies. An allusion to this is to be found in the word Teyku itself, which was read as an abbreviation of Tishbi Yetaretz Kushyot Ve’ibbayot, ‘The Tishbite, Elijah, will answer questions and difficulties.’ This therefore is the history behind ‘the cup of Elijah’ – the cup we fill after the meal but do not drink. It represents the ‘fifth cup’ mentioned in the Talmud.
According to the Jerusalem Talmud, the reason we have four cups of wine is because of the four expressions of redemption in God’s promise to Moses. How then could Rabbi Tarfon suggest that there are not four cups but five? The fascinating fact is that if we look at the biblical passage there are not four expressions of redemption but five. The passage continues: ‘And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.’ (Exodus 6: 8)
There is a further missing fifth. As mentioned above, during the course of reciting the Haggadah we expound four biblical verses, beginning with, ‘An Aramean tried to destroy my father.’ In biblical times, this was the declaration made by someone bringing first-fruits to Jerusalem. However, if we turn to the source we discover that there is a fifth verse to this passage: ‘He brought us to this place [the land of Israel] and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey’ (Deuteronomy. 26: 9). We do not recite or expound this verse at the seder table. But this strange since the Mishnah states explicitly, ‘And one must expound the passage beginning, “An Aramean tried to destroy my father” until one has completed the whole passage.’ In fact we do not complete the whole passage, despite the Mishnah’s instruction.
So there are three ‘missing fifths’ – the fifth cup, the fifth expression of redemption, and the fifth verse. It is also clear why. All three refer to God not merely bringing the Jewish people out of Egypt but also bringing them into the land of Israel. The Haggadah as we now have it and as it evolved in rabbinic times is, in Maimonides words, ‘the Haggadah as practised in the time of exile,’ meaning, during the period of the Dispersion. The missing fifth represented the missing element in redemption. How could Jews celebrate arriving in the land of Israel when they were in exile? How could they drink the last cup of redemption when they had said at the beginning of the seder, ‘This year slaves, next year free; this year here, next year in the land of Israel’?
The fifth cup – poured but not drunk – was like the cup broken at Jewish weddings. It was a symbol of incompletion. It meant that as long as Jews were dispersed throughout the world, facing persecution and danger, they could not yet celebrate to the full. One great sage of the twentieth century, the late Rabbi Menahem Kasher, argued that now that there is a State of Israel, many exiles have been ingathered and Jews have recovered their sovereignty and land, the fifth cup should be re-instated. That remains for the halakhic authorities to decide.
What, though, of the four questions and the four sons? There was a fifth question. The Mishnah states that a child should ask: ‘On all other nights we eat meat that is cooked, boiled or roasted; but this night only roasted meat.’ This text can still be found in the early manuscripts of the Haggadah discovered in the Cairo genizah. It refers to the time when the Temple stood and the food eaten at the seder night included the paschal offering, which was roasted. After the Temple was destroyed and the practice of eating a paschal lamb was discontinued, this question was dropped and another (about reclining) substituted.
Was there a fifth child? The late Lubavitcher Rebbe suggested that there is a fifth child on Pesach. The four children of the Haggadah are all present, sitting round the table. The fifth child is the one who is not there, the child lost through outmarriage and assimilation. Rabbinic tradition tells us that in Egypt, many Jews assimilated and did not want to leave. The Torah uses a phrase to describe the Israelites’ departure from Egypt, Vachamushim alu bnei Yisrael miMitzrayim (Exodus 13: 18). This is normally translated as ‘The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.’ However Rashi, citing earlier authorities, suggests that hamush may not mean ‘armed.’ Instead it may be related to the word hamesh, ‘five’. The sentence could therefore be translated as, ‘Only a fifth of the Israelites left Egypt.’
The rest, he explains, perished in the plague of darkness. The plague itself was less an affliction of the Egyptians than a way of covering the shame of the Israelites, that so many of their number did not want to leave. The loss of Jews through assimilation has been an ongoing tragedy of Jewish history. How do we allude to it on seder night? By silence: the fifth child – the one who is not there.
So the beneath the surface of the Haggadah we find, not four fours, but five fives. In each case there is a missing fifth – a cup, an expression of deliverance, a verse, a question and a child. Each points to something incomplete in our present situation. In the half-century since the Holocaust the Jewish people has emerged from darkness to light. The State of Israel has come into being. The Hebrew language has been reborn. Jews have been brought to safety from the countries where they faced persecution. In the liberal democracies of the West Jews have gained freedom, and even prominence and affluence.
But Israel is not yet at peace. In the Diaspora assimilation continues apace. Many Jews are estranged from their people and their faith. Something is missing from our celebration – the fifth cup, the fifth deliverance, the fifth verse, the fifth question and the fifth child. That is a measure of what is still to be achieved. We have not yet reached our destination. The missing fifths remind us of work still to be done, a journey not yet complete.
Enjoy these Pesach Q&A's from years past. This was transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Chag Kosher V'samieach to all
Question #130
QUESTION:
Why was Matzoh chosen to be the symbol of chipazon?
ANSWER:
Matzoh is the food, bread is the mainstay of a person’s nutrition. Bread is called the mashein lechem, the staff of life. The most important nutrition of a person is his mind. Because as we said before, the purpose of the whole story of Mitzraim was to create siechel in us; deiah, emunah, understanding. That's what Mitzraim is for. We were in Mitzraim, and all the nissim were lamaan teidah, you should know. And just like bread is the most important item of our menu, so we have to know that the most important thing that we have to get out of life is emunah.
And therefore the Matzoh is the vehicle that brings us this lesson. So as you eat the Matzoh, chew the Matzoh and swallow it, and think of the lesson of chipazon the lesson of mamleches kohanim. You're a kohain eating a korban minchah. Also by the way, Matzoh tastes good, too. As you enjoy the Matzoh and you say mechalkail chaim b'chesed, You’re feeding the living with kindliness; it's for a purpose, too. Bread as you eat it and you enjoy it, it gives you nourishment. It’s what the purpose is of you enjoying the bread: Ba'avur shmo hagadol, for the sake of His Great Name, ki hu kail zun umefarneis lakol, that He is the one that feeds everyone.
So as you’re eating the bread and it causes you to thank Hashem, bread has to give you emunah. If you eat bread without getting emunah, so the bread is wasted. It says openly: Hazon es haolam kulo, what's the purpose? Ba'avur shmo hagadol, for the sake of His Great Name. It means that we should recognize His Great Name and speak about Him. So the purpose of the bread is, to arouse within us a recognition of the wonders that Hashem performs when He creates bread.
Where does bread come from? Bread is nothing but carbon dioxide that comes from the air, mixed with some sunlight, and some water, and a small amount of materials from the earth; that's bread. And now it becomes a life giving substance called bread, that's Hashem. So when you eat bread it's supposed to give you emunah. So besides Matzoh which gives you all these lessons, Matzoh is also hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz. So you can enjoy the Matzoh, too, and think how good the Matzoh tastes. It's a pleasure to eat Matzohs, certainly, it's a good change from eating bread all the time. And as you're enjoying the Matzohs you're enjoying all the lessons that Matzoh and bread give you.
Question #83
QUESTION:
What are the significances of Chad Gadyoh and Echod Mi Yodeiah?
ANSWER:
Chad Gadyoh, just the first two words, that's all we'll explain right now. Gedi is a Korban Pesach, it's a Seh or a Gedi, Seh Kevosim or a Seh Izim, either one, so Chad Gadyoh. The Am Yisroel is symbolized by that one. Hakadosh Baruch Hu has announced that there is an Am Echod, there is only one nation in the world. Mi K'amcha Yisroel Goy Echod B'aretz, only one nation in the world. It's very important for us to think about that. Hakadosh Baruch Hu has announced, of all the nations, not only the nations! everything in the world, is nothing compared to the Am Yisroel. Hain Lashem Elokecha Hashomayim U'shmai Hashamayim, Hashem owns the skies and the skies above the skies. All the world and all therein. But Rak B'avosecha Choshak Hashem, only our forefathers did Hashem love. Now, Choshak is a special word like Chashukim, loops,we're attached, Hashem is attached to us, a permanent love, Choshak means attached to us, forever and ever.
Now that's a lesson that every Jew has to learn, that Hashem is attached to him and loves him forever and ever. And that's the significance of Chad Gadyoh, and what follows after that. Chad Gadyoh went through various experiences, Hakadosh Barauch Hu will take vengeance on anybody who has molested His people. Sooner or later everyone will come to judgment, there’s no question, all the nations that persecuted us are all going to be wiped out one after the other.
Echod Mi Yodeiah: again, when we talk about what's called Echod, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not just an Echod like we know, who knows what Echod is? It seems so simple, certainly Hashem is Echod. No, Hashem is not one, like you say one world or one this. No, Hashem is the only thing in the world, there's no world, the world is imagination. Hashem is the only one who has true existence, that's called Havaya, He exists, Hashem exists. Nothing else exists, whatever you see in the world is only His imagination, He imagined the world into existence. Ki Hu Amar Vayehi, He spoke and the world came into existence. If He would retract His word, He'd take back his word, the whole word would collapse into nothing, the Rambam says that. The only one that has existence is Hashem. And therefore, Echod, who knows what one means? One means sometimes, one of a kind. No! not one of a kind, He is the only One in the universe. The others take time to explain, but in the meantime, for Echod Mi Yodeiah, it's enough to know the great Chidush that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the only being that has any existence at all, and all that exists in the world is only the result of His own desire to let them exist.
Question #177
QUESTION:
Ein maftirin achar haPesach afikoman, after eating the Korban Pesach you can not conclude with eating dessert. Now today, we don't have the Korban Pesach so we eat a piece of matzoh called afikoman. Which means that after that piece of matzah we can't eat anything. Why?
ANSWER:
The reason is given as follows: When you eat the korban pesach, it was the end of the seudah. Pesach ne'echal al hasova, it was eaten at the end of the seudah. Pesach night first they ate everything else, and then they ate that kezayis, the piece of the Korban Pesach, broiled meat. They wanted that, that taste should remain in their mouth's as long as possible. The taste of the mitzvah should not be washed away by other things.
That's what the father says, when the chochom says, muh ha'aidos v'hachukim, tell us my father, something about Korban Pesach. The father says my son, I'm going to teach you things about Korban Pesach, about the Torah, about Hashem, but one thing I want you to know, what I tell you should remain in your mouth forever. The taste should not depart. Sometimes in the beginning the child is interested, but later on as he gets older, he's sophisticated, no! The taste should always be in your mouth. And so the Korban Pesach should remain as long as possible, even when you wake up in the morning after Pesach night, you still have the taste of the Korban Pesach in your mouth.
And that's a remez, that when you learned the great ideals that Hashem wants us to learn in our youth, ein maftirin, don't let anything wash it out of your head. Literature, business, whatever else there is in the world, watch out! Nothing should wipe out the lessons that you imbibed when you were idealistic, when you learned them in your youth.
Question #86
QUESTION:
What should you think when you’re counting Sefiras HaOmer?
ANSWER:
Now everybody knows, that we’re counting Sefirah to come closer to the very greatest event in history; and that event was Matan Torah. Like the Gemora says, Vayhi Erev Vayhi Boker Yom Shishi, Yom HaShishi, it doesn't say Yom Shishi, Yom HaShishi. Why the "Hey," HaShishi? Because the sixth day was the most important day in the whole world. The whole world was made for Matan Torah. And so we are counting, we are counting to that day. But there’s a Kasha on this P'shat. Why do you say, today is so many days, and the next day more? You should count less! Let's say, today is 50 days before the Omer, next 49, 48, 47, that's how you should count, because you're waiting for Matan Torah. I want to make sure the Kasha is understood. You should go from the bigger number to the lesser number. And the less days there are, the happier you are?
And why call it, Sefiras HaOmer? Call it Sefiras Hatorah. Why Sefiras HaOmer? What's it got to do with the Omer? Now pay attention. There is a Machlokes HaPoskim, if the Brocho on Talmud Torah is a D'oraysa. Now we follow the Shita that it's M'doraysa. If you are in a Sofek if you made a Brocho on the Torah in the morning, you have to do it anyhow. It's a Sofek. In case you want, you can wait to Ahava Rabah, the Brocho before Krias Shema, and be M'chavain that you are thinking of Birchas Hatorah. But you must do it. But some Poskim say, Birchas Hatorah is M'drabanan. When it comes to the Brocho on eating bread, everybody agrees it's D'oraysa. Isn't that an interesting thing? The Brocho on eating bread, Birchas Hamazon, is D'oraysa. Hakol Modim, "Eretz Asher Lo B'miskainus Tochal Bo Lechem", V'achalta, V'sovoto, Uveirachta. So what do we see from this? That bread is more important than Torah. Bread is more important than Torah, because bread is life, and life is the most important thing.
Without bread you couldn't learn Torah. Not merely you say Im Ain Kemach Ain Torah,that's a different idea. Kepshuto, bread is the opportunity to live in this world. Now, we thank Hakadosh Baruch Hu for the bread. And every day we say, “Today is the first day we’re thanking you for the bread.” The second day, “THE OMER IS BREAD!!” Third day, fourth day, keep on thanking. Now what does it all end up? It ends up in Matan Torah. Bread is for the purpose for learning Torah. We are thanking Hashem for giving us Life, Baruch Hashem. So when you sit down to eat bread every morning, Pas Shachris is a Mitzvah, Pas Shachris is a Mitzvah to eat the Gemora says. Eat bread every morning. That little piece of bread, Pas Shachris, will save you from many illnesses, many sicknesses, if you eat Pas Shachris. When you eat that piece of bread, thinking, “AAH, bread that's Torah, that's Life, that's everything.” And you say, “Baruch Ata Hashem, Hamotzei Lechem Min Ha'aretz,” say it with Hisragshus, with excitement. Love Hashem for the bread. Because bread is going to bring you to everything else. And that's what Sefirah comes to tell us, how great is the Matana that Hashem gives us. Poseach Es Yodecha Umasbiah Lechol Chai Ratzon, and the purpose is, in order eventually to bring us to Har Sinai , to Matan Torah.
Walking? Even if it matters? In this weather? Stop! All right, so I will introduce one of my favourite restored home and boutique museums in Toronto that speaks to a strong culture prior to Confederation. Close to the Eaton’s Centre downtown, is the historic Mackenzie House. William Lyon Mackenzie, Toronto’s first mayor, a rebel of the small but lively “Rebellion of 1837 (alternatively known as the “Farmer’s Revolt”—ask me about my role in that play in High School) against the elitist British and an owner of a couch made out of horse hair!
Get off at Dundas St. on the Yonge-University Line, take a 10 minute walk, and get a docent led tour of this quaint historic home. A couple of nice rooms, some history about this strong and unusual leader in early Toronto (mid-19th century) also has a printing press in the basement. Learn about the origin of “upper and lower caps”, how difficult and tedious it was to print newspapers, and even get to stamp out some words on newsprint. The Xerox machine will appear golden compared to this primitive, but effective, means of reproduction.
Estimated time for tour: 45 minutes/30 minutes for printing press fun
Address: 82 BOND ST Toronto ON
M5B 1X2
Phone: (416) 392-6915
Contact: machouse@toronto.ca
Admission:
Adults: $6.19/Seniors (65 +): $3.54/Youth (13-18 yrs.): $3.54/Children (5-12 yrs.): $2.65
Children (4 and under): Free
Hours of operation:
January - April
Saturday - Sunday
Noon - 5 p.m.
March Break
Monday - Friday
Noon - 4 p.m.
Saturday - Sunday
Noon - 5 p.m.
May - Labour Day
Tuesday - Sunday
Noon - 5 p.m.
September - December
Tuesday - Friday
Noon - 4 p.m.
Saturday - Sunday
Noon - 5 p.m.
Christmas Eve, New Years Eve Day
Noon - 3 p.m
Mondays, Good Friday, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Day
Closed
A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt"l # 273 (Bringing a gift to Hashem,How?)
QUESTION:
How can a man bring a gift to Hashem, if everything belongs to Hashem?
ANSWER:
He brings his heart as a gift to Hashem, that's what you're bringing. When you bring bikurim, you're bringing your heart to Hashem, when you're bringing a korban, you're bringing yourself to Hashem. It's like saying, Ribono shel olam I'd like to offer myself as a korban to the mizbeiach, but You won't take it. You told Avrohom, al tishlach yodcho el ha'naar, don't do anything to Yitzchok, so You don't want any offerings.
So ma ashiv la'shem, how can I pay back Hashem? Ha'etein bechori pishy, (Micha 6:7) can I give my first born as an atonement for my sins? No, I can't do that. So I'll give a bechor of my korbonos. So we see that a korbon is giving yourself to Hashem.
If you give maaser, you're really giving yourself to Hashem. It's the heart that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants of you, and your heart you can give. Heart means your emotions, your love, your devotion to Hashem. That's what you give when you give anything to Hashem.
Legal Matters—Hurry up—Ontario law: 2 years to sue
Written by: Reena Basser, Licensed Paralegal, phone; 416 888 2390
This column will be addressing the major issues in small claims court in Ontario.
You supplied the person or the business with your product. You invoiced them diligently after 30 days, then again at 60 days and after two phone calls and one reminder letter, 90 days appears. More times goes by and their payment, or partial payment has not arrived.
Can you keep this up? Can you sue three years after the date the funds were due?
The answer is normally NO. The Limitations Act, 2002, in Ontario, has limited the amount of time one can sue after the “anniversary date” of the money owing. Ontario used to give people six years to sue, but they have limited the time dramatically. This implies that whenever the “anniversary date” is established (normally net 30 days after the money is due), you have two years to submit your claim into court. You can then take six months (180 days) to serve the claim and commence the proceedings. Small claims court in Ontario (monetary jurisdiction of $25,000.00) considers proceedings started when you pay and submit the claim to court, but then you have some time to serve properly to the debtor.
I cite the law as it reads. Notice the term “discovered” which implies that if the debt only was discovered at a later date, the limitations date is extended.
5(1) A claim is discovered on the earlier of,
(a) the day on which the person with the claim first knew,
(i) that the injury, loss or damage had occurred,
(ii) that the injury, loss or damage was caused by or contributed to by an act or omission,
(iii) that the act or omission was that of the person against whom the claim is made, and
(iv) that, having regard to the nature of the injury, loss or damage, a proceeding would be an appropriate means to seek to remedy it; and
(b) the day on which a reasonable person with the abilities and in the circumstances of the person with the claim first ought to have known of the matters referred to in clause (a)
Exceptions? Of course. Section 11 of the Limitations Act does permit the claim to be extended if you have hired a mediator (funded by either party). In addition, if some debt has been paid, or the debtor recognizes (normally through a letter) and acknowledges the debt owed, the limitations period may be extended.
Being “statute barred” is very harsh in Ontario. It certainly diminishes the stress of a potential lawsuits if you might be sued but it puts on enormous stress on the creditor. It protects those debtors from simply receiving “past due” notices without any action taken. The courts do not consider the payment reminder (even with interest accruing) as a significant factor in trying to collect funds. Funds are only considered paid, or partially paid, when they are paid!
Most case law (precedents and cases that have been in the court system and recorded) favour the debtor after the two year limit. The law feels that the creditor has the onus to collect their funds, make appropriate efforts to collect and grant the debtor a way to end the uncertainty of being sued for many years. Judges feel that companies or individuals must tend to their accounts receivable within good time, quickly and efficiently. It’s good business to commence action in a lawsuit quickly. Don’t wait because Judges have not been lenient (even by one week) in this regard.
Important Numbers
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