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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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#5991 – A Most Terrible Loss!
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Q. Dear Rov Shlit’a. As we already spoke about the so sad news, what could be the meaning of the terrible death of Rabbi Amos Guetta Zt"l a few days ago?
A. Firstly we must explain who was this greatest Tzadik. (quoting) Rabbi Amos Guetta was one of the greatest Kabbalists of our generation, a hidden tzaddik and a worker of miracles. He served as the Rosh Yeshiva of "Rabbi Yitzchak Chai Taib" in Netanya and as the Chief Rabbi of Libyan Jewry. For decades, he was a guiding light for thousands who flocked to his door seeking blessings, counsel, and salvation. He was renowned for his immense dedication to bringing distant souls closer to Hashem. On Wednesday, the 16th of Tammuz 5786 (July 1, 2026), he was tragically stabbed to death inside his study hall (beis midrash) in Netanya at the age of 75.
See next question Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 2:04 AM |
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#5990 – And Add Another Answering Aneinu
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Q. Rabenu long life. Since due to Be”H my advanced age, I’m unable to fast the full coming fast of Shiva Asar Betamuz, and I have to eat something before Mincha. When I daven Mincha do I say Aneinu?
A. On a similar question 4328 of “Answering Aneinu” we answered:
Halichos Shlomo (13: 7) rules that one who already broke his fast before Mincha, should say Anenu and just add “Beyom Tzom Hata’anis” or on the day of fasting.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should omit even that addition.
On question 4328 we wrote “Halichos Shlomo (13: 7) rules that one who already broke his fast before Mincha should say Anenu and just add “Beyom Tzom Hata’anis” or on the day of fasting.” Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should omit even that addition.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 2:03 AM |
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#5989 – Let’s Get Married Now!
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Q. Moreinu Long Life. We are a elderly couple considering getting married this time of the year with a second small wedding. Is it better to get married before the 17 of Tamuz and have the Sheva Brachot during the three weeks, or is it better to wait until after Tisha Beav?
A. Our Rabbanim maintain that it is better if possible to wait until after the end of the mourning period of the Three Weeks.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 2:02 AM |
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# 5988 – Answer the Aneinu?
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Q. Rabeinu Shlit’a. What should be done in a shul’s minyan when not all present are fasting at that particular minyan, regarding saying the special tefilah of Anenu?
A. Shulchan Aruch (566: 3) rules that the Chazan recites Aneinu (answer us) only if there are ten people fasting. However, many Poskim maintain that this is only when a particular community establishes a day of fasting. However regarding the four Main Fasting days which the Prophets instituted, only six fasters are necessary. See also MB 566:14 (mentions seven), Piskei Teshuvot 566:4, and Torath HaMoadim (3: 12). When there are less than six people fasting, the cantor should say Aneinu in the blessing of Shomea Tefillah, as an individual does.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 2:02 AM |
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#5987- Death Us Depart?
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Q. Good morning Rabbi, so an interesting shaila has arisen in my family. I have an uncle that is very ill and dying. His main illness is cancer that has metastasized in his brain. We have been davening for a refuah shleima, but he has progressively gotten worse.
He grew up here in Toronto even going to Eitz Chaim for cheder, but is not observant in the slightest. He has 2 sons from his first marriage, one of which is Baal Tshuva. He lives on the west coast with his non-jewish second wife. There is no doubt that he is dying, but he has signed papers with the M.A.I.D. program. They are scheduled to come to his house this weekend to help him die.
Hashgafically, I see this as euthanasia, but there is nothing I can say or do that can reverse this from happening. The only thing I can think of is to change my Kavana for his refuah to that he should die naturally prior to the M.A.I.D.- people coming to kill him.
But if this course of action does proceed, is there any change to the funeral or shiva that will follow?
Thank you very much in advance for your help and advice in this matter. (SB)
A. On question 4133 we wrote:
Dear Rov Shlit’a. Firstly as an active member of Bikur Cholim, thank you for your efforts in answering and providing help to the many difficult Shaalos and doubts involved in our days, especially in Canada, in not terminating the elderly, the sick and the patients who feel they have no hope. I have a Shaila that happened to me as I was visiting a patient in hospital. When I was there, there were two doctors that were talking to another Jewish elderly patient nearby in the presence of a family member, They were reviewing some forms signed by the patient in which, as I was listening to, agreed to have his life terminated. They reviewed the signature of the notary and then proceed to offer him a drink that would terminate his life, complying with MAID or medical assistance in dying. I was kind of shocked and had a few Halacha questions. Firstly should I have protested? Then if that was not the recommended or proper thing to do, should I have approached and recited the Shema with him with some words of Viduy? Did I have to say the bracha of Dayan Emes? Stay and close his eyes and see about the Chevra Kaddisha? How does one proceed with these Shailos that are becoming L’A so common in our Days?
Our Rabbonim disagree. Horav Dovid Pam Shlit’a maintains that it is best to protest and intervene that they should stop. While Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a and Horav Nosson Hoffman Shlit’a opine that protesting may cause the medics to call security and end in Chilul Hashem. Some mentioned that just approaching and reciting the Shema with him with some words of Viduy, may seem as an agreement to the procedure. A third option may be just reading aloud the Shema and reciting Viduy and other Tefilos aloud without approaching the suicidal patient, so it may not seem as joining the suicidal-murder procedure. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should just mention aloud that a good Jew does not kill himself and then walk away.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 2:01 AM |
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#5986 – Forgive the Forgiveness?
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Q. Dear Rav, I had a falling out with a good friend. There were many misunderstandings and pain and silence grew. With a lack of proper communication to understand what happened, the friend told me she cannot remain my friend anymore. As time went on I strengthened myself, made new relationships and moved on from the pain. About a year later, the friend called to ask for mechila (forgiveness). This is what she said "I'm calling to ask you for mechila, but I still feel I can't be friends with you anymore." I gave her mechila, because I really wouldn't want to bear a grudge, but I hung up confused. Not because I was looking to befriend her, but because this seemed like a non-mechilah case. Like "i'd like to skip getting out of gehenom, so do you moichel me? Ya? Good. Bye!"
From time to time when I think about the whole situation that went down ( the original incident and the "repair", it's painful and confusing. Was this even mechila ? Thank you
A. Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a and the other Rabbanim Shlit'a agree that a partial Mechila is also an act of forgiveness and should be done and recognized as such. Especially if it can maintain peace and serve for future Kiruv to Torah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 1:59 AM |
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#5985 -Much More Must Blessings!
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Q. See question s above. We must add to the above questions the following one:
Q. 3132 Sefira Baby Blessings Q. If someone had a baby girl during the mourning weeks of Sefiras Haomer, should he recite the brocho of Shehecheyanu?
A. Poskim disagree if there is a source or reason at all, to avoid reciting Shehecheyanu during the weeks of Sefira; some maintain there is not. (Levushei Mordechai 153, Likutei Mahariach, Keren Ledovid 119 and others).
Others maintain there is a source and it should be avoided. (Eliahu Zuta 493, quoting Rabbenu Yerucham, and others).
Mishna Berura (493: 2) quotes Ma’amar Mordechai that although our tradition is to avoid reciting Shehecheyanu during the weeks of Sefira, when one does encounter such an occasion, one may recite this bracha. Kovetz Halochos (8: 5) rules similarly.
Some maintain, that when possible one should wait until Shabbos. (Leket Yosher p.97, Dover Meshorim 26. and others) The above may not apply to the bracha of Shehecheyanu recited for a new born, since it has a time limit. (See next questions).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
May 26, 2022
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Posted 7/6/2026 1:59 AM |
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#5984 - How Do We Bless my Great New Baby Girl?
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Q. See questions above. What are indeed the correct ceremonies & Hebrew blessing for new baby girl?.
A. The naming of a Jewish daughter is a most profound spiritual moment. The naming ceremony is most often linked to the public reading of the Torah. During the Torah reading, a special "Mi Sheberach" blessing is said. The blessing begins with a prayer for the mother's health. It continues with the giving of the baby's name – and a prayer that this new Jewish daughter should grow to be a wise and understanding Jewish woman of goodness and greatness.
The baby naming is traditionally followed by a "kiddush" in honour of the baby girl, where friends and relatives gather to share good food, speak words of Torah, and share the family's profound joy.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 1:57 AM |
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#5983 - Bless Even More the Baby Girl!!!
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Q. As mentioned on last question. Why is a baby girl singled out and given this great praise of being called "everything?" Furthermore, is it then correct to recite also the blessing of “Shecheheyanu” at least voluntarily?
A. To your question we must add that with the blessing of a baby daughter comes a realization of the fullness of life. The song says: "thank heaven for little girls." The Jewish people have always thanked heaven for Jewish women, mainly because our survival as a nation has been primarily because of our Jewish women.
Historically, our biblical matriarchs guided the Jewish people through nation-building and familial challenges.
During the slavery in Egypt, the women kept their faith and continued having children, despite the bleak outlook for redemption.
During the years of wandering in the desert, the women refused to participate in the colossal sins Golden Calf and the sin of the spies.
The heroine of Purim was Esther, and the heroine of Chanukah was Yehudit.
At every crucial juncture in Jewish history, women have come to the forefront, steering the Jewish people in the right direction.
Beyond this, Musar and ethical Sefarim stress that Jewishness is passed on via the mother. If the mother is Jewish, the child is 100 percent Jewish. Jewish identity passed through the mother has been universally accepted by Jews for 3,000 years, and was decided by Hashem, as recorded in Deut. 7:3-4.
The Talmud (Kiddushin 68b) explains how this law is evident from those passages.
From the fact that Jewishness goes by the mother, we see that the woman is entrusted with the awesome duty of instilling faith in Hashem, observance of mitzvot, and enjoying Jewish pride. Metaphorically, the mother gives the baby food and love that brings out its internal potential.
Celebrating the birth of a Jewish daughter is therefore a celebration of our Jewish survival, of Jewish values, and of Jewish destiny. So at least we must consider the voluntary bracha of “Shecheheyanu”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 7/6/2026 1:56 AM |
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#5982 – Bless the Baby Girl!!!
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Q. Does anyone maintain that although one is not obliged to recite the blessing of “Shecheheyanu” for a newborn and much expected baby girl, that it is permitted to at least recite the blessing voluntarily?
A. To answer this question, we must firstly remember that our Torah teaches that Abraham was blessed with "everything." (Genesis 24:1) The Talmud explains that this "big blessing" refers to a baby girl. (Baba Batra 16b)
Parents of a new baby girl are in reality filled with joy and are looking for a way to celebrate that formally, with the proper brachos.
We must stress that when a Jewish boy is born, there's a Shalom Zachar, a Bris and sometimes even a Pidyon Ha'Ben. There's lots of guests, a festive meal, and often a photographer and videographer.
Are we not equally to rejoice and celebrate correctly the birth of a baby girl, especially when her birth is indeed considered “Bakol.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
See next question.
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Posted 7/6/2026 1:55 AM |
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#5981 – Baby Talk!
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Moreinu Shlit’a. Can one recite the Shehechiyanu Bracha for a newborn baby during the Three Weeks?
A . One should recite the Shehechiyanu Bracha upon the birth of a baby boy or girl during the Three Weeks, since this Bracha cannot be pushed off until after the Three Weeks.
Nitei Gavriel 17:19, Avnei Yishpeh 5:80 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying shehechiyanu is only on a beracha that can wait until after.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:23 AM |
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#5980 - Have a Happy Birthday!
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Rabenu mentioned on question 5973 that it is permitted to celebrate a birthday party during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av. Are we allowed to celebrate birthday during the Nine Days at home with only family and no music?
During the three weeks it is permitted, but during the nine days it isn't a correct thing to do, as we don't have parties during the nine days. It should be pushed off until after the nine (10) days. Kovetz Halachos ( R. S. Kaminetzsky shlit"a) Bein Hamitzarim 10-8.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:22 AM |
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#5979 – The Operational Week?
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Rabenu Shlit’a. Can one schedule surgery for and during the 3 weeks?,
A. One should not schedule surgery for during the Three Weeks, and certainly not during the Nine Days, unless the doctor insists that it should not be postponed.
See Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, Dirshu Mishna Brura 551:note 128 in the name of Rav Shmuel Vosner, Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 130:footnote 44, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 515, Nitei Gavriel 23:8. Rav Bentzion Mussafi permits until Rosh Chodesh to get surgery. See also Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128 footnote 2 and Halichot Olam vol 2 pg. 134.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:21 AM |
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#5979 – The Operational Week?
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Rabenu Shlit’a. Can one schedule surgery for and during the 3 weeks?,
A. One should not schedule surgery for during the Three Weeks, and certainly not during the Nine Days, unless the doctor insists that it should not be postponed.
See Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, Dirshu Mishna Brura 551:note 128 in the name of Rav Shmuel Vosner, Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 130:footnote 44, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 515, Nitei Gavriel 23:8. Rav Bentzion Mussafi permits until Rosh Chodesh to get surgery. See also Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128 footnote 2 and Halichot Olam vol 2 pg. 134.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:21 AM |
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#5978 -A Strong Week Shailah?
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Q. Dear Rabbi. Can one prepare and schedule trips and recreational activities for the Three Weeks?
A. One shouldn't schedule trips and recreational activities for the Three Weeks. However. some maintain that if that is the only time a person can take trips with his family, or it is for medical reasons, it is permitted until the Nine Days.
See Mikroei Kodesh 5:1 quoting the Masas Chaim of Rav Chaim Palagi that the rabbis of his generation established that people shouldn't go on trips during the Three Weeks. He also writes that this is cited by the Sdei Chemed Ben Hametzarim 1:10 and Nitai Gavriel Ben Hametzarim 23 fnt. 7. He also quotes that he heard from Rav Shaul Yisraeli that one shoudln't go on recreational trips during the Three Weeks. See also above Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 citing Rav Mordechai Eliyahu.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:21 AM |
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#5977- An Engaging Question!
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Q. See question above. Is it permitted to get engaged in the Nine Days and serve a Lechaim?
A. Magen Avraham 551:10 rules that it is permitted to become engaged and write tenaim during the Nine Days, even on Tisha BeAv itself, as long as there is no meal, music, or dancing. Until Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without dancing. (Mishna Brurah 551: 19, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553. )
However, the Tzitz Eliezer (13:60) notes that many Jews refrain from doing so on Tisha B'Av. In addition, the Ben Ish Chai (Devarim: Halacha 4) writes that in Baghdad, they would not get engaged during the Nine Days between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av. He says further that it is preferred not to get engaged at all during the "Three Weeks."
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:19 AM |
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#5976 – A Shower of Shailos?
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Q. See question above. Can one take a shower and wear freshly washed clothing?
A. When necessary, it is also permitted to shower for this purpose. It is even permitted to get engaged in the Nine Days (Magen Avraham 551:10).
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:18 AM |
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#5975 -The Date of the Date!
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Q. Dear Rabbi. What are the Halachos of dating in the nine days?
A. There is also no problem to date in the nine days.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:17 AM |
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#5974 – Enjoy the Birthday Gift?
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Q. See question above. Could we invite friends and receive gifts that will be stored and not opened until after Tisha Beav? Does it make a difference if the birthday is for children?
A. If they will not be used now one may accept them in order to not to embarrass the giver and after explaining to them that they will be used after the Nine Days.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:16 AM |
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#5973 -Have a Happy Birthday?
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Q. Kevodo, Are we allowed to celebrate birthday in “bein hametzarim” (vacation) at home with no music and just family?
A. It is permitted to celebrate a birthday party during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av. (Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45) .
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Y. Hirshman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu, Horav Kalman Ochs, and Horav Dovid Bartfeld consulting in need Horav Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz Shlit’a
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Posted 6/29/2026 8:15 AM |
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Important Numbers
