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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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#5813 - The Last Joyful Torah Disagreement V? Really?
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- The Last Joyful Torah Disagreement V? Really? Q. Following Question 5 מילתא דתמי׳….מיחזי- כיוהרא 7,8,9 אין לנו חלק……
He should give gifts to his wife not for external secular reasons but rather למען הרבות אהבה ואחווה שלום ורעות,לכבדו יותר מגופו להרבות שמחתה ושמחת יו״ט, הכרת הטוב , להראות שהיא אהובה..ב
A. Kvod Horav Shlit’a, as you well know that we have so frequently expressed the mentioned fundamental marriage principles in our many answers and articles, that we maintain and teach and inform constantly. They often include the marriage principles you mentioned.
The above can be seen, not only in the volume of revised Teshuvot by our Rabbanim group, answered and published worldwide, read by really many and questioned if and when needed. Adding also your own very valuable and thankful supervision over many years.
Thanks again for your contribution.
See Next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu
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Posted 2/23/2026 4:03 PM |
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#5812 - A Joyful Torah Disagreement IV?
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We should also add to the above Shailot the many references of the joy of learning Torah. One we often expressed the following Purim question (On the Purim Spirit special):
“Q. 4898 - This is Not a Joke. Q. See question above. Can one prepare Purim jokes and funny stories while in the bathroom?
A. On question 1278, we mentioned that Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if you are repeating or thinking of verses and words of our sages, albeit in a nonsensical and ludicrous content, it would be still prohibited while being in an improper location.
The same would apply to reading kosher jokes and funny stories in the bathroom.
As the Talmud (Shabbos 30b) teaches, that Rava, before beginning a lecture would tell a “Milsa D’bedichusa,” a humorous story or witticism that would make people laugh and also catch their attention.
Meforshim point out that it was a real part of the Torah learning experience, that should be truly performed with great Simcha and joy. (See Menuchas Sholom p. 48 and others.)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/23/2026 3:53 PM |
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#5811 – A Joyful Torah Disagreement III?
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On question 2213 - The True Joy, we wrote;
Q. One who is sitting shiva is prohibited in learning Torah, but is allowed to learn the sad parts of the Torah and the laws of avelut. What happens when even learning those, grants one great joy? Is he allowed to learn the Halachot of mourning, which he needs?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 384: 1 – 4) rules that one who is in mourning should demonstrate sadness, and abstain from learning Torah, since it grants joy and happiness to the one who learns it.
However, since one has to learn the Halachos of mourning in order to keep them, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he is permitted to do so.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a.
See next question.
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Posted 2/23/2026 3:40 PM |
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#5810 – A Joyful Torah Disagreement II?
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On question 2213 - The True Joy, we wrote;
Q. One who is sitting shiva is prohibited in learning Torah, but is allowed to learn the sad parts of the Torah and the laws of avelut. What happens when even learning those, grants one great joy? Is he allowed to learn the Halachot of mourning, which he needs?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 384: 1 – 4) rules that one who is in mourning should demonstrate sadness, and abstain from learning Torah, since it grants joy and happiness to the one who learns it.
However, since one has to learn the Halachos of mourning in order to keep them, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he is permitted to do so.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a.
See next question.
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Posted 2/23/2026 3:23 PM |
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#5809 – A Joyful Torah Disagreement?
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- Q. Re- Question "Torah learning is our essence".
On question 5799 regarding, “ Why is it not mentioned in Shulchan Aruch the important Halacha of Mishenichnas Adar Marbim Besimcha, that from the beginning of the Month of Adar, one has to increase joy and happiness?” The Rov answered:
“A. Poskim mention that the reason is since in essence the whole month of Adar could be on special occasions a time for reading the Megila, including Rosh Chodesh, as mentioned in Shulchan Aruch, (O.H. 688: 7) the Rema (ibid.) explains that we follow this tradition. Therefore any time we read the megila, we are essentially learning Tora, which is a time of pure joy. {See Chasam Sofer O.H. 160).”
This question is entirely flawed to assume that one is teaching a subject along with other teachings. Rather, every single time one learns Torah, he is expressing his very essence that his very breath of life is וחיי עולם נטע בתוכינו which was implanted in him when Hashem Yisborach said Anochi…. That is what one is living and breathing every single time one is learning Torah!
A. As explained above and in many other answers to questions, you are indeed right and correct, yet we always learn Torah everywhere, by asking questions and providing answers.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu
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Posted 2/23/2026 3:11 PM |
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#5808 – A Women Dressing Up Help
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– Q. Rav Shlit”a .
Our Shul has a proper separation and Mechitza curtain separating the women section of the shul. However, there has been lately talk about the tznius aspect of the women themselves when they get dressed up on Purim.
Most maintain that it would seem that if the
outfits are in the spirit of tznius, then it is permitted.. Nevertheless, some women and their families feel that women should not get dressed up at all. What is the correct way?
A. Tzniut or tznius is often defined as a fundamental Jewish principle encompassing modesty, privacy, and humility in both dress and behavior, aiming to emphasize spiritual essence of the mitzvos and principles of our Torah, over external modern and publicly commonly used dressing and appearance.
It applies to both men and women, guiding interactions to maintain dignity and proper body covering.
As many different and special factors and trends could be at play, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit'a opinion is that a reliable and well familiarized Rabbi or Posek, who understands well the complex possible variations of each case should be consulted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/23/2026 2:49 PM |
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#5807 – Let the Children Decide?
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- Q. See last question.
Will the above help for the costumes which belong to children, since minors cannot be forgiving (Ketanim lav b'nei mechila ninhu), permit the use of those items?
A. As usual, the normal and accepted daily procedure is that the parents decide for their children in similar cases.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/23/2026 2:45 PM |
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#5806 – Don’t Hide the Mask!
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- Q.. Would a sign or notice placed in a shul, announcing that the "partzufim" or masks, and other Purim disguises and attires left in shul, will be considered as “hefker” or abandoned and to be disposed of by the shul, then permit others to use them?
A. Firstly one should consult with the shul people in charge if they agree. Then, indeed if expressed properly and clearly, it would have that effect.
The times for the enactment should also be clearly publicized.
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/23/2026 2:40 PM |
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#5805 Face the Mask?
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- Q. Dear Rabbi Shlit’a.
I have seen in the past Purims that parents let their children use the abandoned pieces of masks left by other children in the Shul is that correct?
A. On a recent similar question we wrote:
Q. Can one borrow the "partzufim" or masks, Purim disguises and attires that others left in shul after megilla reading, without the permission of the owners? Is this similar to borrowing and wearing someones taalis, since we assume that "nicha lei leinish" a person is agreeable and accepts others borrowing his property when he doesn't need it and it will be returned unharmed, after he complies with a mitzva?
A. On question 1279 we wrote: " Different reasons have been mentioned for the minhag of donning disguises in Purim, such as giving the opportunity to the poor to collect tzedaka without being embarrassed (Minhagei Kol Aryeh).
Other reasons are that the miracle of Purim was disguised in ordinary occurrences and events, such as Vashti being executed and Esther taking her place. The Talmud (Megila 12a) writes that just as the Jews at the time pretended only to be serving other gods, Hashem also pretended that He was going to destroy the Jewish nation, and in the end it was only a semblance (Bnai Isoschor). It would seem that we are being encouraged to wear them. However, Rema (Shulchan Aruch O.H. 696: 8) and Mahari Mintz (17) mention only that it is permitted, but do not encourage it necessarily."
Following the above, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in our case we do not say "nicha lei leinish" a person is agreeable and accepts others borrowing his property, since no proper real mitzva is being performed.
Besides, even using someones taalis or tefilin without permission may not apply in our days, since we are more careful with the perspiration and sweat from others. The above would also apply to the partzufim and disguises.
The Rov Shlit"a recommended to place a sign in shul, indicating that the partzufim items left in shul, will be considered hefker or abandoned and to be disposed off by the
shul.See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 2/18/2026 12:57 PM |
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#5804 - Time To Tell The Truth
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- Q. Kvod Rabbenu Shlit’a.
Can one use a great looking box to contain a gift that was bought in a cheap store, so it would look great and expensive? How about if the box also has a name of a very expensive store?
A. One should avoid doing the above since our Torah forbids in many ways and prohibitions, the adherence and engagement of false pretenses and deceptions when dealing with others.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 1:02 PM |
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#5803 – The Proper Advertising of Joy!
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- Q. As I asked the Rov in shul: how is the best way to deal with the Zecher Lechurban of unpainted square at the entrance of our house, and with the Adar sign of “Mishenichnas Adar Marbim Besimcha”
A. On Q. 4665 we wrote:
Q. If ones tradition is to hang a sign by the door that expresses our mitzva of rejoicing during the month of Adar. (Mishenichnas Adar Marbim Besimcha). Should one use it to cover the memorial on the entrance for the destruction of the Beth Hamikdash, (Zecher Lechurban) since that one brings sadness and mourning?
– A. Indeed, Yalkut Avrohom (686) mentions that there is wide kept tradition for some to place during Adar a sign at our homes or other locations where people meet, to remind us of the great importance and mitzva of rejoicing even during the month of Adar Rishon (see question 473). See also Nitei Gavriel (begining of H. Purim).
However, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it does not contradict or negate the Churban Beis Hamikdash at all, as we see in many our tefilos of Yomim Tovim when we also mention the destruction and great hope for the prompt rebuilding of our most Holy Temple. We can address both realities at the same time.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:58 PM |
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#5802 – Let The Joy Really Increase?
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- Q. Kvod Harav Shlit”a.
I have one more question. In regards to medical treatment that is not urgent or the investment of capital in a business that can always be done, is it better to delay during the month of Adar as much as is possible without loosing anything, since after all we say if “Mishenichas Adar Marbim Besimcha” (when the month of Adar begins we increase joy), applies also after Purim, does the joy keep on increasing as the days of Adar go by and if it continues into Nissan does it also increase then too. So it would stand to reason that one should wait until the latter part of the month as the joy is greater then?
A. Shaarei Hamoadim (p. 20) maintains that the simcha increases from day to day and even from hour to hour.
Rashi (Taanis 29a) explains that the marbim besimcha is due to the days of miracles of Purim and Pesach. Therefore, Eliahu Rabba (685: 8), Shearim Metzuyanim Behalacha (141: 1), and others affirm that it extends even to the month of Nissan, and it seerms to increase also.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:53 PM |
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#5801 – A Real Grand Simcha?
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- Q. Kvod Harav Shlit”a.
Does the above ruling and mitzva of Simcha also include the month of Nissan? Should one extend the acts of joy to consider and extend also into the month of Nissan?
A. Poskim disagree. Eishel Avrohom (Tanina 686) maintain that it only includes Adar, as the Pasuk (Esther 9: 22) mentions “The month which was turned unto them from sorrow to joy and from mourning into a good day," quoting only “the month”. However some maintain that it also includes the following month of Nissan (Eliahu Rabba (685) quoting Rashi on Taanis 29a).
Chasam Sofer (O.H. 160) adds that it is preferable to keep both months, since miracles also occurred on Nisan and thus it also creates a “Chazaka” or an established tradition that claims continuity and future joy and deliverance ,and are thus also days of Good Mazal for our nation.
Horav Shlomo Miller Slit”a maintains that the marbim besimcha ends at the end of Pesach, when the Sefira days begin.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:48 PM |
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#5800 – The Joys of Spring
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- Q. Kvod Harav Shlit”a. What exactly are the manifestations of Joy and happiness?
How about going on vacation to a nice place with the kids?
A. Even though the Shulchan Aruch does not explain what is needed for the compliance of this mitzva of happiness. Poskim write that each one should engage on the acts that create one’s personal joy.
They give as an example the Chasam Sofer ( O.H. 160) who rules that even if one follows the prohibition of not doing work on Purim, an activity that gives delight and pleasure, such as building a house for ones offspring is permitted.
Some mention the hanging of the posters that remind us of the joy and happiness of this days or gatering the materials for the rejoicing on Purim such as the Purim poems (gramen) or choosing and training the Purim Rebbe.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:43 PM |
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#5799 When Does the Joy Begin?
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- Q. Kvod Harav Shlit”a.
Why is it not mentioned in Shulchan Aruch the important Halacha of "Mishenichnas Adar Marbim Besimcha", that from the beginning of the Month of Adar, one has to increase joy and happiness?
A. Poskim mention that the reason is since in essence the whole month of Adar could be on special occasions a time for reading the Megila including Rosh Chodesh, as mentioned in Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 688: 7). The Rema (ibid.) explains that we follow this tradition, so it is as is, a time for joy. (see Chasam Sofer O.H. 160).
See next question
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:39 PM |
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#5798 - The Women’s Kiddush
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Q. See questions above:
Q. Hon. Rov Shlit’a. Thanks so much for all the answers. One last question. What is the real obligation for women making Kiddush on Shabbat?
A. Whether women have to Kiddush on Shabbos morning is the subject of much argument. Although it is prohibited to eat before tefila on weekdays, many women eat breakfast after reciting a brief petition, and finish davening later on in the morning. Some Poskim permit the above, since one may rely on the opinion of the Rambam who maintains that women fulfill their tefila obligation with a brief petition. Therefore they are already eating after “davening.” On Shabbos morning, however, they are obligated to make Kiddush in addition to the daily obligation to daven. As soon as they meet their basic davening obligation by reciting a brief petition it is for them already the zeman seudah and they cannot eat until they make Kiddush. Peri Megodim, O.H. (289: 4( Minchas Yitzchok (4: 28); Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchoso (52:13.)
Some married women, nonetheless, are accustomed to eat on Shabbos morning without first making Kiddush. They rely upon the view that maintains that it is not yet the Zeman Seudah for them until their husbands are ready to eat, which is not until their davening is over in shul. 7 Other poskim do not agree with this argument. 8 In either case, unmarried women, including girls who eat at their father’s table, do not have this leniency to rely upon.( See Igrois Moshe, (O.H. 4:101-2).
Yet even according to this view, once a married woman has davened, she may not eat before reciting Kiddush, even if her husband has not yet ended his davening;).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:36 PM |
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#5797 - A Drinking Problem
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See question above.
Q. Hon. Rov Shlit’a. Me again. Are there any limits as to how late it is?
A. On question 3743 we wrote: Dear rabbi, I understand that on Shabbos morning, a woman may drink coffee, tea, juice, etc before she davens. Is there a time limit to that? if she wakes up at 11 am and her shul is already finished davening, can she still drink at home before she davens? Does it matter that there are many shuls in Toronto that daven at different times?
A. on question 3469 we wrote: “Regarding women drinking water before davening (on Shabbos morning) Poskim disagree. Some opine that since they comply with davening by just saying a short Tefila or Bracha, then they would be obliged to recite Kiddush even for just drinking water. That is recommended by some Poskim. (Piskei Teshuvos 289: n. 80). However, commonly many women wait to hear Kiddush until their husbands come home from shul.
Igrois Moshe (4: 101) maintains that since a wife follows her husband, and he only recites Kiddush until arriving after davening from shul, she does the same.” On question 3470 we wrote “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that unmarried women living alone, should better recite Kiddush (on Shabbos morning) after they said some Brocho or Tefila. However the daughters of one’s home since they also depend on their father and mother for eating the Shabbos Seuda, should wait with Kiddush until the parents recite.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:29 PM |
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#5796 Equal Kiddush Rights
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Equal Kiddush Rights - - See question above.
Q. Hon. Rov Shlit’a. Me again. How about a woman who wants to attend for Parshas Shekolim this Shabbat, yet finds it hard now without at least having a coffee and another nourishing drink or even some cereal, can I make kiddush before going to shul? A. On question 3468 we wrote:
Q. Is (the mitzva of Kiddush) the same for men or women? What if the person has low blood sugar or other issues that require eating, can she eat before Kiddush?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 289: 1) rules that similarly to the night of Shabbos, one is not allowed to taste any food before the Kiddush of the day. However he adds, one may drink water before davening since the obligation of reciting Kiddush has not yet began.
Mishna Berura (6) adds that the same applies to women, since regarding all the Shabbos mitzvos men and women are equal. Biur Halacha (ibid) adds that if one is permitted to eat or drink before davening due to his medical concerns, has to recite Kiddush before eating. However, care should be taken to consume the proper amounts needed.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 2/16/2026 12:24 PM |
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#5795 Never Too Late? Really???
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- Q. Hon. Rov Shlit’a.
Since as the Rov knows, we have a significant group of elderly people in our shul for Shabbat and it is B”H increasing.
Some can only come after we already started or even ended the Torah reading and join us for Musaf and Kiddush. (We are trying if possible to start a second minyan). However, some come only for Mincha and Maariv and we would like to have all of them hear the added parshios. Can we then by the Torah reading of Shabbat Mincha and before Maariv read by the four added Parshiot of these days?
A. On question 4880 we wrote:
Q. An elderly and ill individual that only goes these days to shul for Mincha on Shabbos being taken on a wheelchair. This next Shabbos is Parshas Shekalim, since he will not be there in the morning when that parsha is read, can it be read for him especially by Mincha, at it is close to Teruma and no second sefer in needed, he would not hear it otherwise?
A. On question 4119 we wrote: Birkei Yosef (685: 3) rules that if Parshas Shekolim was not read during Shabbos morning it should not be read after Musaf for individuals that did not heard it before. The reason given is that it is unlike Parshas Zachor that constitutes a personal obligation for all.
However, Shekalim is similar to the reading of the Shabbos parsha itself and requires a proper Minyan. See similar ruling in Piskei Teshuvos (685).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a.
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Posted 2/10/2026 10:04 PM |
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#5794 The Gold of Gold
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- Q. Rabbi can one honor in shul Yochebed Gold who passed away recently? Urgent answer please, as the kiddush offered is this Shabbat Vayehi!
A. Yocheved Gold, who recently died at the age of 102, lived a life that tracked the arc of modern Jewish history, from its deepest horrors to its defiant triumphs.
As a teenager in Nazi Germany, she came face to face with Adolf Hitler and refused to honour him. As a young woman, she helped build the Jewish state. And at 99, she survived Hamas’ brutal October 7 attack, only to insist on returning to her home. This is the story of a woman who refused, again and again, to be moved.
Yocheved was born in 1923 in Halberstadt, Germany, into a family whose roots in the country stretched back generations. Her mother, Sarah (née Bamberger), descended from a line of rabbis; her father, Rabbi Dr. Aharon Neuwirth, was known for his scholarship and deep piety. One of seven children, Yocheved grew up in a warm, proudly observant home that took Jewish life seriously.
In 1930, the family moved to Berlin. Three years later, Adolf Hitler became Chancellor, and the walls began closing in.
(from Aish.com).
There is no question that Yocheved Gold deserves recognition for all she went through and kept her spirit and stood up with honor.
Yet it depends on the established traditions of the particular shul in similar cases.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a.
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Posted 2/6/2026 3:06 PM |
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Important Numbers
