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# 3277 Up to Date
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Q. Can a dating couple wear Shabbos clothing when dating during the Nine Days?
A. Shebet Halevy (9: 131: 4) permits on the onset. However, Halichos Shlomo (14: D'var Halocho 15) maintains that if possible it should be avoided, but in need it is permitted.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/22/2021 6:02 PM |
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# 3276 A Happy Birthday?
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Q. Do the attendants to the shul say Mazal Tov to the Bar Mitzva boy or is it like all other salutations and greetings that are prohibited on Tisha Beav?
Can he receive gifts then?
I must mention that my son is somewhat depressed and sad that his Bar Mitzva day fell on Tisha Beav as opposed to his friends that celebrated theirs with much food, music and joy. Is there anything to be done?
A. Horav S"Z Auerbach, zt”l maintains that Mazal Tov for a recent Simcha may be said on Tisha Beav since it is considered a blessing and not a greeting (Halichos Shlomo Bein HaMitzorim Vol. 15, Orchos Halacha 30).
It is mentioned that M'vR' Hoav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l also permited after Chatzos Others maintain if possible, one should wait for a different day to express this Mazal Tov (Chut Sheini 2 p. 327).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that Mazal Tov can be said but gifts should be avoided.
You may want to ask the Rabbi of the shul or another Talmid Hacham, to speak then between Mincha and Maariv, and explain the true greatness of Tisha Beav and why it is called Moed. As our Sages teach Moshiach is to be born on that day, As it already was during the era of the Second Beis Hamikdosh, it will again become the happiest of days.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/22/2021 6:00 PM |
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# 3275 Blessing the Freedom on Time
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Q. Do I as a father usually does, also say the bracha of 'Baruch Sheptarani' (literally, blessed be the One who freed me from the punishment of this one), on Tisha Beav after my son gets his aliya, or should I wait until next day Monday?
A. See question above. Poskim also mostly maintain that this brocho is recited by the father when the son gets his aliya, as is done during other Bar Mitzvas. (See Poskim listed above).
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/22/2021 5:57 PM |
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# 3274 A Tisha Beav Initiation
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Q. My son is having his Bar Mitzva birthday on Tisha Beav and we have a number of questions.
1) Does he get an aliya laTorah, on that like all other Bar Mitzva boys? (We are planing to do Be'H a big seuda on Shabbat Nachamu).
A. Poskim write that it is better to give the Bar Mitzva son an aliya on Mincha Tisha Beav. (Halichos Shlomo 15: 8, Nitei Gavriel 2: 60: 16, Kovetz Halochos 10: 26, Kaf Hachaim 554: 88, and others).
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/22/2021 5:55 PM |
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# 3273 An Answer to a Prayer Shaila
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Q. On this year that Tisha Beav is Motzei Shabbat, I heard that Horav Shlomo said that women should try to attend shul at night for Maariv. Why?
A. Indeed, the Rov Shlit'a maintains that women on this occasion should daven Maariv (not necessarily in shul) so they can recite Havdalah when saying Shemone Essre, and be permitted to do work, since we do not recite the usual Havdalah until the end of the Taanis, Sunday night.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/18/2021 5:54 PM |
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# 3272 A Healthy Havdalah?
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Q. A man is ill and has to eat on Tisha Beav. As Halacha requires he will say Havdalah before he eats. Should his healthy wife listen to the Havdalah then as always or should she make her own on Sunday night before she eats?
How about in the reverse case. Should the fasting husband say Havdalah for his ill wife on Motzei Shabbat, or should she make her own and the husband will say it at the end of the Taanit, on Sunday night?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in both cases the wife should recite her own Havdalah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 11:16 PM |
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# 3271 Sleep Like a Log?
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Q. Someone is camping out during the Three Weeks including Tisha Beav and sleeping on the ground the whole time. Should he on the night of Tisha Beav sleep directly on the floor without his sleeping bag?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H.555: 2) rules that some have the tradition of sleeping on the ground on the night of Tisha Beav and also place a stone as a pillow. Rema (ibid. adds) that if one usually sleeps with two pillows, he should abstain and use only one.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it in this case it may be unnecessary since after all he is already sleeping on the ground.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 11:13 PM |
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# 3270 The Smell Test
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Q. On Tisha Beav can a woman wear perfume or a man spray deodorant?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 554: 15) rules that although 'Sicha' or anointing is forbidden during Tisha Beav, it is only when done for pleasure. One who has scabs on their head can normally anoint and he has no concern.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the use of perfume and similar anointing products should be avoided since it would be included in the prohibition of Sicha. However, when necessary for the removal of bad or molesting odors, it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 11:06 PM |
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# 3269 Tzitzis Emphasies
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Q. On Tisha Beav morning someone wearing his Taalis Kotton, should he kiss the tzitzis after Boruch Sheomar or Parshas Tzitzis?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the established tradition is not to kiss the tzitzis of the Taalis Kotton on Tisha Beav, and not to recite a brocho on them as mentioned in Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 555: 1).
See however, Mishna Berura (2) on dissenting opinions when one did not sleep wearing the Taalis Kotton.
Nitei Gavriel (57: 6) quotes opinions that children who always make a brocho in the morning on them, should do the same.
However, the Rov maintains that even children or those young men who do not wear a regular Taalis yet and usually recite a brocho and kiss those tzitzis when davening, should avoid doing so during the Shacharis of Tisha Beav,
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 11:00 PM |
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# 3268 Question Mark III
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Q. Re- questions 3258-59 on tattoos. Can one put on tefillin on top of a tattoo or is it a chatzitza (interposition)?
A. On question 542 regarding a woman that became a Baalas Teshuvah and she has a tattoo that she is planning to remove or change, if it is meantime considered a chatzitzah for immersion in a Mikvah; we wrote: "Posikim rule that stains that have no substance to them, and they just present a superficial coloration of the skin, such as an iodine or a weak ballpoint stain, on the onset they should be removed when possible. (Har Tzvi Y.D. 163, Pische Zuta 198: 26, Shiurey Shavet Halevy 198: 17, Chut Shani 198: 23, Pischei Halocho 2: 296).
However in regards to tattoos, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that she is permitted to immerse without having them excised, since the stain is under the skin."
The Rov's opinion is that certainly it is not a chatzitza for Tefillin.
See similar answers in Minchas Yitzchok (3: 11), Alei Siach p. 51 quoting Horav C. Kanievsky Shlit'a, and others.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 10:52 PM |
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# 3267 Safe Space
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Q. One whose minhag is to make his own Havdala due to concerns of spacing out or another reason, can he make his own in the Nine Days or better be yotze with someone else to minimize drinking wine in this time?
A. One spacing out and unable to concentrate, thus in need to recite his own Havdalah, can do so using beer, coffee or tea during the Nine Days. He may also give the cup of wine to one that has the minhag to drink wine in Havdalah. or use grape juice and give the cup to a minor.
If he needs space for Covid separation, he may hear the Havdala from a far corner of a room wearing a mask.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 10:45 PM |
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# 3266 Hearts and Flowers
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Q. May I give flowers to my nonreligious grandmother for her birthday during Nine Days?
A. On question 3260 regarding one that buys flowers for home every Friday Lik'vod (in honor of) Shabbos, if he should also do so for Shabbos Chazon, (Shabbos before Tisha Beav), we wrote: "As mentioned in a question above, Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 551: 2) rules that from Rosh Chodesh Av until after Tisha Beav one should avoid a 'Binyan Shel Simcha' or building a structure dedicated mainly for pleasure and joy, and that includes planting flora and trees dedicated for those purposes.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that although it is not exactly the same as planting new flowers, it is still better to avoid even just buying them on Shabbos Chazon."
However, in this case due to the most important issues involved, Horav Aharon Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the flowers can be given.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 10:24 PM |
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# 3265 The Able Avel II
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Q. Can an Avel get an aliya on Tisha Beav?
A. See question 3264 above regarding the attendance of an Avel to shul during Tisha Beav,
Nitei Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 2: 60: 11) quotes a number of Poskim that permit an Avel to receive an aliya and even have Maftir or be the Baal Koreh during Tisha Beav (Machazik B'rocho 554, Lev Chayim 2: 167, Shaarei Rachamim 8: 158).
The main reason given is that on that day everyone is also in mourning.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 10:11 PM |
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# 3264 The Able Avel
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Q. Since Tisha Beav is called Moed or a Yom Tov, can an Avel siting Shiva go to shul and daven at the amud?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 559: 6) rules that an Avel attends shul on Tisha Beav in the night and also in the day until the end of the Kinos recitation.
Mishna Berura (24) explains that although usually Avelim do not exit their home during the first three days, in this case, since we are all in mourning, he may do so. He quotes opinions that differ and maintain that on the first three days he should not attend. He further quotes a leveling position from R"Sh Kluger zt'l that at night since there are fewer Kinos he should better remain home. However in the day, when there are many Kinnos and he would likely be pained for missing them he should attend. After three days, he may attend at night too.
Nitei Gavriel (Avelus 125: 1) mentions quoting Magen Avrohom, that If he is by himself, he may attend at night also. However, he should refrain attending for Mincha.
Sidur Yaavetz maintains an Avel should not daven for the Amud on Tisha Beav. Similarly Mikroei Kodesh (8: 52) quotes some opinions that maintain a mourner should indeed not direct the services during Tisha Beav as it also called a Moed. However, he mentions that most Poskim are lenient. Adonei Paz and Nitei Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 1: 58: 10) rule likewise.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/15/2021 10:06 PM |
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# 3263 Keep on Eating
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Q. When someone bentches (recites Birchat Hamazon), before the Shekiah on Shabbos Chazon that is followed by Tisha Beav as it is this year (2021 - see question above), can he still eat after bentching until sunset, if he didn't had in mind to do so and didn't make a condition as required on the early morning before the beginning of a fast day?
A. Shaar Hatzion (553: 7) rules that there is no need to make a condition before bentching on that case., since one should not exhibit Inuy or affliction during Shabbos, most likely when he bentched he did not have in mind to stop eating until the Shekiah if he so desires. Kaf Hachaim (ibid. 6), Nitei Gavriel (91: 10) and other rule similarly.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is also similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/13/2021 10:05 PM |
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# 3262 Make it Interesting!
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Q. A Shul prepares Shalosh Seudos also on Shabbos Chazon that precedes Tisha Beav on Sunday, and the people stay after Mincha and eat there and stop eating as required before sunset. Is it better that they recite Birchat Hamazon (bentch) with a cup of wine, also before the Shekiah, or can they bench after sunset?
Since the Rov speaks at that time until Maariv, there is concern, that if they bentch early, people will leave the shul and only return about an hour later for Maariv. That may cause a significant Bitul Torah for many.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is preferable to recite Birchat Hamazon (bentch) with a cup of wine, also before the Shekiah.
The Rov speaking at that time, should save important and necessary information on the Halochos of Tisha Beav and other incumbent and interesting content, so people will stay. He may invite a special speaker for that important time of learning.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/13/2021 9:54 PM |
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# 3261 Get in Tune with the Times
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Q. Is it correct to sing on Friday night - Shabbos Chazon the niggun of Lecha Dodi using the sad tune of E-li Tzion that we sing after Kinos on Tisha Beav? Is that not "Avelus Befarhesia" or a case of open mourning that is prohibited on Shabbos?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that as a mater of fact we have several similar traditions, such as the very sad maftir itself of that Shabbos or the reading with the tune of Eicha of a posuk on the parsha of that Shabbos.
It is all correct to do so, due to the seriousness and closeness of that Shabbos to Tisha Beav.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/13/2021 9:49 PM |
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# 3260 A Shabbos Without Flowers?
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Q. One that buys flowers for home every Friday Lik'vod (in honor of) Shabbos. Should he also do so for Shabbos Chazon, (Shabbos before Tisha Beav)?
A. As mentioned in a question 3255 above, Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 551: 2) rules that from Rosh Chodesh Av until after Tisha Beav one should avoid a 'Binyan Shel Simcha' or building a structure dedicated mainly for pleasure and joy, and that includes planting flora and trees dedicated for those purposes.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that although it is not exactly the same as planting new flowers, it is still better to avoid even just buying them on Shabbos Chazon.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/11/2021 4:22 PM |
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# 3259 Question Mark II
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Q. (See question 3258 above). If one is not obliged to remove tattoos one acquired when he was still a Gentile or was not frum, would the same apply to tattoos that express immoral messages and show libertine female figures?
A. Poskim maintain that those tattoos should be removed a.s.a.p.. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/8/2021 10:39 PM |
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# 3258 Question Mark
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Q. A friend of mine who used to be frum asked you a question regarding being buried in a Jewish cemetery when marked with tattoos.
He would like to know what is the Halacha and if he needs to remove the tattoos before the burial?
A. Poskim disagree if tattooing for other purposes than Idolatry is a Biblical prohibition, some maintain it is. (Tosafos Gittin 20b and Aruch Laner ad loc, Rambam Tur and Shulchan Aruch don’t mention any distinction, Minchas Chinuch 253 debates the issue).
On question 2722 regarding a Ger or a Baal Teshuva who had tattoos done in their earlier days, if they have to remove them when they changed and if it better to remove them; we wrote:
"Minchas Chinuch (35) maintains that it is improper to maintain the tattoos as one transgresses on the prohibition of “following the ways of the nations.”
Yesodei Yeshurun (39 Melochos) debates whether one who has a tattoo and does not remove it, if he is constantly transgressing on the prohibition of kesubas k’aka’a, (getting a tattoo).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he is not obliged to remove them, (see also questions 2707 – 2708).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 7/8/2021 10:35 PM |
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Important Numbers
