Q. When a great-grandfather contradicts the opinion of a grandfather, who should the grandson listen to? Should one give greater honour to his great-grandfather over his grandfather as when giving an Aliya or similar?
A. On question 817 regarding if a father tells do something that contradicts the will of my grandfather (his father); we wrote: "Rema (Y.D. 240: 24) mentions the opinion of Maharik that one is not obligated to honour his grandfather. However his ruling is that he is, but the honour to a father supersedes the grandfather.
Torah Lishma and Teshuva Mehava (1: 178) explain that honouring grandparents is only rabbinical obligation while honouring parents is a biblical commandment. Chelkas Yaakov (Y.D. 135) rules that if both his father and grandfather are present and demand something from him, he should heed his grandfather, since both he and his father are obligated to honour the grandfather (See also Responsa Rabi Akiva Eiger (1: 68) for a similar opinion. Sheilas Yavetz however (2: 129) disagrees.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”'a opinion is that there are many other variants to this question and additional fact information is necessary in order to establish priority. In some instances there may be no obligation to honor either one, as when it conflicts with mitzvos."
When a great-grandfather contradicts the opinion of a grandfather, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”'a opinion is that there is no preference and one may choose other factors involved.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
Q. Hi Rabi, I have a half brother of my father that we don't know if he is still living or not. Due to what would be his age, the most probable answer is that he was niftar (would have been over 120). He used to live in Cuba, and he remained there when the last member of our family left the country. Over the years we have tried many ways of contacting him and trying to find him with no luck. We would like to do a limud for his Neshama and say the Kaddish. Two issues:
1. We don't have a date of death, or a confirmation of death. Can we say Kaddish on his behalf?
2. We don't know the name of his mother (he was Sefaradi and we use the name of the mother). He was the son of my grandfather's first wife who died in childbirth. Should we use his name and the name of Sarah Imeinu?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that you should choose a day of fasting, preferably Shiva Asar Betamuz and set that day as a Yohrzait to recite Kaddish and honor his name.
Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a maintains that in this case the name of the father that is known should be used, instead of the general Sarah Imenu name.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a.
Q. Can one lick with his tongue a stain on his jacket on Shabbos to remove it? How about if it is a piece of food that is still edible?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it should not be done since one will also be cleaning the cloth itself, which is forbidden during Shabbos. Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a, are of similar opinion.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a.
The Talmud tells us that one of the questions we will be asked in the heavenly court is: “Did you hope for and long for the moshiach!” There are many ways that our behavior can manifest a positive response to that question.
One way is by showing our respect for the “Mikdash Me’at” - miniature sanctuary that we pray in. That means that we go out of our way to create an atmosphere that reflects that of the Beis Hamikdash - an indoor house of worship to Hashem, where the Divine presence feels welcomed, honoured and revered ( we are only referring to the actual Beis Haknesses / sanctuary).
It is a facility that adheres to the following proper Shul etiquette based on Halacha:
Enter the Shul with awe of Hashem’s presence
Say “Ma Tovu” when entering the Shul, and go directly to your seat
Refrain from entering with your coat / outerwear
Refrain from entering with your cell phone or any secular reading materials
Refrain from sleeping or eating
Refrain from behaving in a light hearted manner and avoid speaking idly or joking around
Refrain from walking in with snow or mud on your footwear
Refrain from participating in “Kiddush Clubs” during services
Talk a lot in Shul, but only to Hashem!
If so many of us were able to comply with the oppressive COVID safety measures because of “dina demalchusa dina” , we certainly should want to comply with Hashem’s laws that are far less oppressive and even more important for our physical / spiritual safety.
As many Shuls are now resuming their regular services post COVID, the following Shuls are committed to help increase the honour of the Shechina in the city of Toronto / Thornhill by adhering to all of the above standards, which will provide safe prayer havens for anyone who wants to maximize their Tefila Be’Tzibur:
Q. A new liquid product that can be sprayed onto cloth face masks is about to become available. The spray coating using electrostatic charges, captures COVID-19 molecules on the surface of the mask, preventing them from being inhaled into the lungs or exhaled into the environment. This greatly increases the effective protection of the masks. Can a mask be sprayed on Shabbat?
A. On question 2220 we wrote; "Poskim permit using on Shabbos suntan and insect repellent liquids, oils and lotions, when they are thin, of low viscosity, and of flowing consistency. They also should not be for medicinal use. (Piskei Teshuvos 327: 1).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted to spray repellent on clothing also, even if it has some aroma, since the main intention is not to impart fragrance, but to repel insects." See also question 1770.
However, regarding the spray in question, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should avoid spraying the mask during Shabbos as the prohibition of 'tikun mana' or changing and fixing an object may be involved, since the intention is indeed to make the mask a better type of filter.
The Rov added that a nurse or one attending several patients, may spray on one self and clothing with disinfectant spray, to avoid carrying viruses from one patient to another.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
How can one truly believe that everything is Gam Zu L'tova?
ANSWER:
We have a Torah as I said; Moshe Rabeinu is emes, v'toraso emes, and it states there that Hakadosh Baruch Hu did things l'tova, He made the world for chesed. L'osei hashomayim b'svuna, ki l'olam chasdo, everything is ki l'olam chasdo, a world of chesed. And if sometimes it seems not a chesed – a toothache, it's a chesed. If not for the toothache you wouldn't go to the dentist, and your tooth would rot away. Now you run to the dentist, he puts in a filling, and you have a tooth. Pain is a chesed, without pain people would be sick and they would never know what's wrong with them.
I once told a story… in Canada there was a young woman who didn't have any feeling in her hand. She was putting her hand over the gas range, she smelled flesh burning! Her own hand was burning from the gas range; she lacked the sensation of pain. If you have the sensation of pain you pull back your hand and save yourself. Pain is a lifesaver! Pain is a chesed gadol!
Poverty, for many people poverty is a yeshua. Here's a wealthy man I remember, he moved way out to Long Island, and then he lost all his money and moved back to Brownsville – in the good old days when Brownsville was a Jewish neighborhood – and he sent his boys to Mesivta Chaim Berlin. I said "what are you doing here?" He said he lost all his money and now he's back in Brownsville – and he saved his boys. Out there his boys wouldn't go to Chaim Berlin! A good place, Chaim Berlin. Only because he lost his money; it's a true story.
Many people should lose their money and move back into frum neighborhoods, it's a yeshua, no question about it. Wealth is a terrible resource if it's misused.
Reprinted from Westmount Shul, Rabbi Y. Michalowicz
Purim is celebrated this year on Monday evening March 9th and Tuesday March 10sh.
1 – Fast of Esther:
1. The fast is on Monday, March 9th.
2. The fast begins at 6:27 A.M. and ends at 8:07 P.M. Those who find fasting very difficult may eat at 7:53
P.M. One who finds it will be difficult to concentrate on Megilah reading may end the fast at
8:00 P.M.
3. All adult males and females over Bar/Bat Mitzvah are obligated to fast.
4. Pregnant and Nursing women are exempt from fasting.
5. A person who is ill [even if it is not serious] is not permitted to fast.
6. One should not fast even if one only has a severe headache.
7. Children under bar/bat Mitzvah do not need to fast even for a few hours. Nevertheless, they should not be
given treats.
8. You may take medications prescribed by a doctor. One, who has difficulty swallowing pills without water, may
drink the amount of water required to swallow them.
9. One may rinse the mouth only if bad taste causes discomfort. Only a small amount of liquid should be used
while leaning forwards in order to minimize the chance of it being swallowed.
10. One is permitted to eat before the fast, provided that one explicitly states before going to sleep that he/she
plans to wake up early to eat before the fast begins.
11. Bathing is permitted even with hot water.
12. It is permitted to listen to music.
13. The special “Aneinu” prayer is said during the Mincha Amida by those who are fasting.
14. “Avinu Malkeinu” is said during Shacharis. It is not said at Mincha.
2 - The Half Shekel:
1. On the Fast of Esther [usually around Mincha time], there is a custom to give three coins to charity. Each coin
should be the denomination of ˝ the standard currency in that country [e.g. ˝ a dollar].
2. If one does not have the correct coins, he should purchase them [optimally for approximately $15] from the
charity box, and then put them back into the charity box.
3. All adult males are obliged in this Mitzvah. The custom is that a father gives on behalf of his sons, whatever
their ages.
4. The custom is that women are not obliged to give.
5. The money collected should be given to the poor.
6. If one forgot to give it on Erev Purim, he should give the money on Purim morning before the Megilah reading.
7. One may not use his “Ma’aser [charity] money” to fulfill this Mitzvah.
3 – Prayers on Purim:
1. We recite the “Al Hanisim” prayer during all 3 Amidas and for Birchas Hamazon. If one forgets to say it, he
need not repeat the Amida or Birchas Hamazon.
2. ‘Tachanun” and “Lamenatzeach” are omitted during Shacharis.
3. The Torah is read during Shacharis – before the Megilah reading.
4. One should not pray while dressed in a costume. One must dress respectfully during davening.
5. If a person is intoxicated to the extent that he would not be able to speak respectfully to an important official,
he may not pray. If he is only slightly intoxicated, to the extent that he would be able to speak respectfully to an
important official, it is nonetheless not correct to pray. However, the custom is to be lenient and allow prayer in
this state, although ideally he should wait until he is sober.
4- Work on Purim:
1. All forms of work are permitted on the evening of Purim.
2. The custom is to prohibit going to work on the day of Purim. The Rabbis of the Talmud tell us that
whoever works on Purim will not see any blessing from it.
3. Work is permitted in the following situations:
• If not working will cause financial loss
• Work that is necessary for a Mitzvah
• Work that is required for Purim
4. One may ask a non-Jew to do all forms of work for the Jew.
5. Laundering is prohibited unless the clothes are necessary for Purim.
6. It is permitted to shave or take a haircut if it is done in order to look presentable on Purim itself.
7. It is forbidden to cut one’s nails.
8. The custom is to wear Shabbos clothes on Purim. One should keep his Shabbos clothes on through
the evening of Purim while hearing the Megilah.
5 – Reading /Hearing the Megilah:
1. Men and women over bar/bat Mitzvah are obligated to hear the Megilah twice – one time at night and one time
in the morning.
2. Children who are mature enough to listen attentively to the Megilah reading should do so. Preferably, such
children should be brought to hear the public reading. However, they must be properly supervised during
the reading and should understand that they have not been brought to Shul simply for the fun of banging at
Haman. Young children who are likely to cause a disturbance and prevent others from hearing the
Megilah should not brought to Shul for Megilah reading.
3. The earliest time to read the Megilah is after nightfall – 8:07 P.M. The earliest correct time to read the
Megilah in the morning is after sunrise – 7:39 A.M. The Megilah can be read all day long until sunset.
4. Before reading or listening to the Megilah one should have in mind that they are fulfilling the Mitzvah of reading
or hearing the Megilah. Additionally, the reader should have in mind to include all the listeners who wish to
fulfill their obligation.
5. Three blessings are made by the reader before reading the Megilah in the evening and in the morning:
• “Al Mikra Megilah”
• “She’asa Nisim”
• “Shehechiyanu”
6. One should stand when saying or hearing the blessings.
7. When listening to the blessings, you should have in mind that you are fulfilling your obligation. When hearing
the “Shehechiyanu” blessing in the day, one should have in mind to include all the special Mitzvos of Purim.
The reader should have in mind that he is reciting the blessings on behalf of the entire congregation.
8. If a person arrives to Shul in the middle of the blessings:
• If there is sufficient time, he should quickly say the blessings himself, taking care that they are
completed before the reading begins.
• If there is insufficient time to say all the blessings, he should say as many of the blessings that he can.
• If there is not enough time to recite any of the blessings, he should preferably attend another reading
where the blessings will be heard.
• If this is very inconvenient, he may listen to the Megilah without hearing the blessings.
9. A special blessing is made after the evening Megilah reading in the presence of a Minyan. “Shoshanas
Yaakov” is sung after the Megilah reading.
10. The listeners may sit during the reading of the Megilah. The reader should stand when reading to a minyan,
but may lean if necessary.
11. One must hear every word of the Megilah. If a person missed even one word he has not fulfilled his
obligation. Therefore, it is mandatory to arrive on time for Megilah reading.
12. If a person did not hear some words, he should immediately say the words himself. However, this creates a
problem since the reader continues to read the Megilah while the person is saying the missed words, thereby
causing him to miss further words. Therefore, he must say the missed words and continue reading until he
overtakes the reader, at which point he may resume listening.
13. It is forbidden for both the reader and listener to speak from the beginning of the first blessing until the end of
the after blessing. Parents must be aware of this when bringing young children to the reading.
14. There are four verses of the Megilah which are read out loud before the reader. They are the following:
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• Chapter 2, verse 5
• Chapter 8, verse 15
• Chapter 8, verse 16.
• Chapter 10, verse 3
15. In addition, it is customary for the congregation to say the names of the ten sons of Haman out loud.
16. It is a time honored tradition to bang / make noise every time the name of Haman is mentioned in the Megilah.
Nevertheless, excessive noise and tumult should be discouraged since this often prevents people
from hearing clearly.
17. In order to enhance the Mitzvah and make greater publicity of the miracle, both men and women should make
every effort to attend a public reading in Shul. Even if one can organize a minyan at home, it is better to join
the congregation.
18. If it is impossible for a person to attend Shul, he must hear the Megilah read at home from a Kosher Megilah.
6 – “Matanos Le’Evyonim” – Gifts to the Poor:
1. One must give one gift each to at least two poor people. The gift may be either money or food. The Mitzvah
should be performed on Purim during the daytime. It is preferable to do it after the Megilah reading without
delay.
2. One may give money to a charity collector before Purim if the charity collector will distribute the money to the
poor people only on the day of Purim for the purpose of fulfilling this Mitzvah.
3. Each person should be given at least the amount of food that is eaten at a regular meal or the amount of
money required to buy this. [approximately $25 per poor person]
4. It is recommended to give more than this minimum amount of money and amount of poor people. It is better
to spend more on this Mitzvah than on the other Mitzvos of Purim.
5. A check may be given if it can be easily exchanged for cash.
6. “Ma’aser [charity] Money” may be used for any of these donations, except for the minimum two gifts [valued at
$50.]
7. Women and children over bar/bat Mitzvah are also obligated in this Mitzvah. Although a married woman may
rely on her husband to give on her behalf, nevertheless it is preferable for her to perform the Mitzvah
personally. The same applies for the children. A practical solution would be to do the following: The husband
could give some money to a poor person or charity collector stating that it is on behalf of his wife. The poor
person / charity collector should have in mind to acquire the money on behalf of the woman, and she should
know that the procedure is being used for her. The same applies for the adult children.
8. Children aged six or seven should be trained to perform this Mitzvah. The above methods can be used as well
for them.
7 – “Mishloach Manos” – Sending Food:
1. On the day of Purim, one must send two items of food to at least one person. It is praiseworthy to send to
many people, but see 6:4 above.
2. Preferably, one should send food that is ready to be eaten immediately
3. The two food items must be different. However, it is not necessary for the items to require two different
blessings. Drinks are also suitable. One may send two different food items or two different drinks, or one food
and one drink.
4. The food should be a respectable quantity according to the standards of the sender and recipient. Therefore,
one should send a nicer package to a wealthy person than to a poor person, and a wealthy person should
send a nicer package than a poor person.
5. One should send at least one nice package to one person and any additional packages may be ‘token’
packages. This is better than only sending a large number of small ‘token’ packages.
6. One is not permitted to use his “Ma’aser [charity] money” for this Mitzvah. If a person wishes to send several
packages to poor people he may use his “Ma’aser money” for all but the first package.
7. Women and children over Bar/Bat Mitzvah are obligated in this Mitzvah.
8. According to some opinions, a package may be sent on behalf of the entire family. That package should have
two food items for every family member sending the package. According to another opinion, only a husband
4
and wife can send together, but children should send on their own. If children prepare their own packages from
food in their parents’ home, they should be allowed to acquire the food before sending it.
9. Children aged six or seven should be trained to perform the Mitzvah.
10. It is praiseworthy to send packages to Jews who know little about Torah. This will arouse their interest
in Jewish practices and increase love and friendship between Jews. In a similar vein, this is an ideal
opportunity to repair broken relationships by sending packages to people with whom one has ill
feeling.
11. One may not send a package to a mourner. If another family member is not in mourning, the package may be
addressed to the family.
12. A mourner is obligated to send one package, but the package should not be too elaborate.
13. If a person receives a package, it is praiseworthy to reciprocate and send one in return, but it is not an
obligation.
14. According to the prevalent custom, one may give the package personally. According to some opinions, it is
preferable to send the package via a third person. One may use a child as a messenger, but must confirm that
the package was delivered. A reliable delivery service may be used.
15. Anonymous packages should be avoided. The recipient should know who has sent them the package.
8 – “Seudas Purim” – Feasting & Rejoicing:
1. The main Mitzvah is to have a festive meal on the day of Purim. In addition, one should have a nicer meal than
usual on the evening of Purim.
2. The table should be set nicely for the evening meal. Some have a custom to light candles.
3. There is a custom to eat seeds and pod foods such as rice, peas, and beans. It is not necessary to eat bread
at this meal.
4. It is customary to eat “Hamantashen” with a filling made of poppy-seed. It is also customary to eat “kreplach.”
5. The prevalent custom is to eat bread and beef at the daytime meal.
6. Some women have a custom to drink a little wine in honor of the day. It is not necessary for children to drink
wine.
7. One should set a spiritual tone for this meal by doing the following:
• Spend a little time studying Torah before the meal. There is a special Mitzvah to begin studying the
laws of Pesach on Purim.
• Have in mind that eating the meal is a Mitzvah.
• Relate the Purim miracles and sing praise to Hashem during the meal.
8. It is a Mitzvah for men to drink wine. According to some opinions there is an obligation to become dunk until he
can no longer distinguish between ‘Cursed be Haman’ and ‘Blessed be Mordechai.’ According to other
opinions, one is only requite to drink more than the usual, but not to the point of getting drunk. One should
then go to sleep and thereby be unable to distinguish between ‘Cursed be Haman’ and ‘Blessed be
Mordechai.’
9. The Sages certainly did not want people to make a fool of themselves and behave with frivolity and
disgrace. The intention is to come closer to Hashem, using joy to reach great heights of love and
praise for Hashem. A person who knows that intoxication will prevent him from making blessings or
praying properly, or will lead him to light-headedness, should follow the second opinion. Everything
that one does should be purely for the sake of Heaven.
10. It is preferable to fulfill this Mitzvah by drinking wine only. A person who wishes may have other alcoholic
drinks after some wine.
11. The main obligation is to drink during the festive meal. If a person wishes to fulfill the Mitzvah by sleeping, he
should drink a little wine during the meal and go to sleep after Birchas Hamazon. Sufficient time should be left
to sleep before nightfall.
12. One should refrain from drinking too much if alcoholic drinks are harmful to him.
13. It is customary to wear costumes and masks on Purim.
14. One should refrain from dressing in costumes of the opposite gender. The same applies for children.
15. If a person insulted someone while intoxicated, he is required to ask for forgiveness.
16. Although it is customary to have Purim ‘shtik’ [plays, skits, songs, etc.] – it is forbidden to insult or embarrass
people even in jest.
I found this topic interesting due to many more children have developed milk allergies lately that does not show up on the allergist's scratch test.
Having a food intolerance is not fun. It can cause abdominal pain, discomfort, and nausea. It also causes embarrassing symptoms like flatulence and diarrhea. Other symptoms linked to food intolerances include muscle or joint pain, headaches, exhaustion, and even skin symptoms like rashes and eczema.
Dairy is just one of those foods that many people seem to be intolerant of. Let’s talk about the main components of milk that people react to: lactose, casein, and whey.
Milk sugar (lactose) intolerance
“It’s estimated that up to 75% of adults are lactose intolerant.” Lactose is the carbohydrate “milk sugar” naturally found in most dairy products. Lactose intolerance is so common you can buy lactose-free milk in your regular grocery store. Lactose-free products are treated with the enzyme “lactase” that breaks the lactose down before you ingest it. It’s this lactase enzyme that is lacking in most people who are lactose intolerant.
The lactase enzyme is naturally released from your intestine as one of your digestive enzymes. It breaks down the lactose sugar in the gut. When someone doesn't have enough lactase, the lactose doesn't get broken down the way it should. Undigested lactose ends up being food for the resident gut microbes. As they ferment the lactose, they create gases that cause bloating, flatulence, pain, and sometimes diarrhea.
Lactose is in dairy but is in lower amounts in fermented dairy (e.g. cheese & yogurt) and butter. Steering clear of lactose isn't that easy as it is added to other foods like baked goods, soups, and sauces. And if you're taking any medications or supplements, check to see if it's in there too, as lactose is a common ingredient in them.
**If you have symptoms of lactose intolerance, keep an eye on food, medication, and supplement labels.
Milk protein (casein & whey) allergy
Milk is a known, and common, food allergen. In Canada, it is considered a “priority allergen” and must be declared on food labels.
So, what are the allergens in milk? You've heard of "curds and whey?" Well, these are the two main proteins in milk. The solid bits are the curds (made of casein), and the liquid is the dissolved whey.
Unlike lactose intolerance, casein and whey can cause an actual immune response. It’s an allergy. And this immune response can cause inflammation. In fact, we don’t know how many people have these milk allergies, but most estimates put it far below that of lactose intolerance.
Did you know that you have severe diarrhea, and vomit from dairy and it will not show up in a scratch test by an allergist.
Like lactose, these allergenic milk proteins can be found in other products too. They're not just in dairy but are often in protein powders as well (Have you heard of "whey" protein powders?).
Some of the symptoms of milk protein allergy differ from that of lactose intolerance; things like nasal congestion and mucus (phlegm) are more common here. And casein seems to be linked with belly fat.
Interestingly, people who have gluten intolerance are often allergic to milk proteins like whey and casein as well. These can go hand-in-hand.
Like lactose intolerance, if you're allergic to casein and whey keep an eye on labels so you can avoid these. There are many milk alternatives with the same vitamins and minerals that easier to digest.
Conclusion
If you get gassy, bloated, or diarrhea after eating dairy, you may have a lactose intolerance. If you often get a stuffy nose and mucus, then you may be allergic to casein and/or whey.
While dairy may be an entire food group, it is not an essential nutrient. All the nutrients in dairy are available in other foods. The trick is to find substitutions that will be pleasing and enjoyable as well as nutritious. If you experience these symptoms, you can try removing dairy from your diet. You may find improved digestion and fewer gut issues. Or you may find improved nasal congestion, or even less belly fat.
If you decide to (or have already) removed dairy from your diet, let me know your experience in the comments below.
Recipe (Dairy-free): Chocolate Ice "Cream"
Serves 2
3 bananas, sliced and frozen
2 tsp cacao powder, unsweetened
1 tbsp almond butter/ or nut and seed butter (I recommend ”Wow” Butter)
Instructions
Place frozen bananas in food processor and blend until smooth (a few minutes). You may have to stop a few times to scrape the sides.
Add cacao powder and nut or see butter of choice and blend until mixed well.
Serve & enjoy!
Tip: You can make this in advance and freeze in an airtight container.
Is it preferable to daven in a good minyan when there is no Rov, or in another minyan with a lower class of clientele, but has a Rov present?
ANSWER:
It depends. Sometimes even when there is a Rov present, people act like he's not present! And therefore you are better off in the other place. But suppose all things being equal, and one place has somebody who has a certain responsibility, authority - no question.
There is another reason. I want to tell you something that happens all the time with me. A woman calls up, her husband is terrible; he's brutal, he's selfish; very many times this happens. I say, doesn't your husband have a Rabbi? No, he has no Rabbi. Friday night he goes to this shul, Shabbos morning someplace else, Mincha he goes someplace else, the weekday someplace else; he has no Rabbi. He never says good Shabbos to the Rabbi; he doesn't even know the Rabbi. So he doesn't have a Rebbe.
To whom can she complain, to a stranger? If there is a Rov to whom he feels a certain attachment, he likes the Rov to have a good opinion of him, then that can help out very much. Otherwise he's an orphan, he's a yasom. Who should she talk to?
You should never marry a man who doesn't have a Rebbe! Otherwise who knows what's going to happen, to whom will you complain? If he has a rosh yeshiva at least, his old rosh yeshiva could be appealed to and could have an influence on him. Otherwise he's a self-made nobody, a self-made man; so to whom can you appeal to influence him?
That's why it's very important, very important, to have somebody gavra d'mistofona, somebody you are afraid of, then your wife doesn't even have to call up at all. The mere fact that there's somebody that you are afraid of already makes a mentch out of you.
Very important; very important.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
ANSWER:
Because we have more respect for a man than for a woman. That's the truth. A man is taller than a woman; a woman is much shorter than her husband. A man has more authority, and that's how it should be; you can't have two captains in a house. If you have two captains then you're looking for trouble - it's a mutiny. The wife however is the first mate; she must be respected, there's no question about that. The father of the house is more than the mother of the house - kabeid es avicha v'es imecha. Of course you have to give your mother very great respect too, but the father has to be the leader, and therefore Hashem is the father picture to us.
You have to think of Hashem as an active personal being. If you think of Hashem as something as a force, impersonal, you're edging into the daios of the world, of kefirah, chas v'shalom. In order to feel the great truth of Hakadosh Baruch Hu - He's chai v'kayom, not only is He kayom, He's chai - you have to think of Him as a living person, it's very important to think of Hashem as a living person. It's not considered minus, only you shouldn't believe it. You should picture Hashem as a living person, a monarch, or a chochom zokein yosheiv yeshiva.
One more thing - when you look at the face of your fellow Jew, his face should remind you that Hashem is looking at you. I'm looking at your face - Hashem is looking at me, through your eyes, yes. That's why it says, ki b'tzelem Elokim asa es ha'adam, He made us in the image of Hashem in order that each Jew should remind everyone else: Hashem is looking at you, and behave therefore. Behave!!
Actually Hashem is looking at you without the means of that person's eyes, but utilize that person's eyes to remind you Hashem is looking at you.
Good Shabbos To All
Wishing everyone a K'siva V'chasima Tova
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Erev Rosh Hashanah:
1. It is customary [but not mandatory] to fast until Halachik mid-day. [1:08 PM]
2. Additional Selichos are said in the morning.
3. No Tachanun is said during the morning service.
4. We do not blow the Shofar after the morning service.
5. One should nullify his / her vows before 3 people in a language that you understand. See Artscroll
Siddur pg. 762. This procedure helps for vows and good deeds that one may have committed to
do, that one does not remember having made.
6. Women can appoint their husbands as their agents to nullify their vows for them. Other women
rely on the Kol Nidrei ceremony to nullify their vows.
7. It is customary to visit the cemetery.
8. One should spend time doing Teshuvah, giving charity, learning, and asking forgiveness from
other people. Before Rosh Hashanah actually begins, one should resolve to strive to focus on
improving a specific area of conduct during the New Year.
9. One should be well groomed in honor of the Yom Tov.
10.One should preferably take a shave and haircut before Halachik Mid- day. [1:08 PM]
11. Men should immerse in the Mikveh no earlier than one hour before Halachik Mid-day. [12:08 PM]
12.One should familiarize oneself with the Machzor.
13.One should wear festive clothing, but in moderation. Save new clothing for the second night of
Yom Tov.
14.It is customary to bake or purchase Challah in the form of a circle, ladder, or bird.
15.One should be careful not to display anger or even become angry during these special days.
16.Remember that on Rosh Hashanah one is permitted to cook or bake from a pre-existing fire. You
need not have all your food cooked before Yom Tov. [Which is generally required to be done
for Shabbos.] Consult with your Rabbi to learn more of the Halachik details involved.
17.It is preferable and practical to light a 24 hour Yartzeit candle before Yom Tov, so that you will
have a pre-existing flame to use throughout the first day of Yom Tov. This flame will be the one
that you can light candles from on the second night of Rosh Hashanah.
First Evening of Rosh Hashanah:
1. Women light candles either at the regular time of candle lighting [6:44 PM] or from a pre-existing
flame when the men come home from Shul and are ready to eat. They make 2 blessings: One for
the Mitzvah of lighting the Yom Tov candles and the other “Shehechiyanu” blessing. [If a woman
forgets to light candles at these two times, she may light them from a pre-existing flame the entire
evening.]
2. Men should daven Minchah with a Minyan and everyone should say Minchah with extra
concentration, as it is the final prayer of the year 5779.
3. The earliest time to either light candles or make Kiddush is after 5:48 PM.
4. 4 insertions are made in the Maariv Amidah [and for all Amidahs through Yom Kippur], which are
found in the Artscroll Machzor on pages 62, 64, 66, and 72. One need not repeat the Amida if one
forgot to say any or all of the insertions.
5. We change the ending of the third blessing from “Ha-el Hakadosh” to “Hamelech Hakadosh.” One
must repeat the Amidah if one forgot to insert “Hamelech Hakadosh.”
6. Special greetings are given to friends and family members after Maariv and before Kiddush. “May
you be inscribed and sealed for a good year [immediately, for a good life and for peace].” See
Artscroll Machzor pg. 90 for the Hebrew text. This greeting should only be said on the first night.
Greetings for the remainder of Rosh Hashanah should be limited to “Shana Tova”, “Happy New
Year”, “Chag Samayach”, or “Good Yom Tov.”
7. After making the special Yom Tov Kiddush and washing our hands, we make a Brocha over two
Challahs, and cut the top Challah.
8. Challah is dipped in honey [some have the custom to dip the Challah into salt as well].
9. Symbolic foods are eaten at the evening meal. See Artscroll Machzor pg. 96-98. The first
symbolic fruit to be eaten should be the date. You should make the blessing “Borei Pri Ha’etz” on
that fruit, keeping in mind the other fruits you will be eating on this night. Eat a little of it, followed
by the special “Yehi Ratzon” prayer, and then finish the date. There are no other blessings made
on the symbolic foods. One does say the special “Yehi Ratzon” prayer before eating each of the
symbolic foods.
10.It is optimal to eat symbolic foods, that normally would require the blessing of “Borei pro
Ho’adama, during the course of your meal, to avoid the doubtful necessity of making that blessing
during the meal.
11. If one is not able to eat any of the symbolic foods, one may look at them and say the special “Yehi
Ratzon” prayer.
12.Some have a custom to avoid eating sour or bitter foods and nuts.
13.One should not say the blessing of Borei Pei Ha’etz on fruits that one eats for dessert if one had
dessert in mind when one made the blessing on the symbolic fruits at the beginning of the meal.
14.Remember to make the proper insertions during the Birchas Hamazon.
15.It is a custom to learn one Chapter of Mishnayos from Tractate Rosh Hashanah after each of the
Yom Tov meals.
First Day of Rosh Hashanah:
1. Men should come on time to Shul and say the Amidah with a Minyan.
2. The Shema should be recited before 10:10 AM.
3. Although there is no obligation to stand when the Aron Hakodesh is opened during the prayers,
there is a Mitzvah to stand if one has the strength to do so.
4. One should optimally listen to 100 blasts of the Shofar on both days of Rosh Hashanah. 30 are
blown before Mussaf. 30 are blown during the repetition. 40 are blown at the end of the service.
5. Men are obligated to hear the Shofar. Women are technically exempt from hearing the Shofar;
however, it has become customary for women to hear at least 30 blasts of the Shofar. If possible,
they should hear both the 30 blasts before Musaf and the 30 blasts during the repetition of the
Amida.
6. If you are not able to go to Shul, you should hear a minimum of 30 blasts blown privately for you.
The listener should preferably make the blessings on the Shofar.
7. Children, who are old enough to silently listen to the Shofar, should be encouraged to do so. Little
children, who will disturb the service, may not be brought to Shofar blowing.
8. It is forbidden to talk while the Shofar is being blown. One should not speak from the time that
the blessings on the Shofar are made until after hearing the 100th and final note. Only under
extenuating circumstances may one talk after hearing the first 30 blasts. Women may be more
lenient in this matter after hearing 30 blasts.
9. During the Musaf Amida, one should bow when saying “Modim” in the “Aleinu” prayer.
10.If one chooses to kneel on the floor during Aleinu of the reposition of the Musaf Amida, one
should put some material between their face and the floor.
Afternoon:
1. One should leave Shul feeling relaxed and confident that Hashem has accepted his prayers with
mercy.
2. One is obligated to eat Challah and have a meal on both days of Rosh Hashanah.
3
3. One should not sleep in the afternoon. [One may be lenient on the second day.] A person who is
very tired should sleep a little, rather than sit around idely and waste time.
4. It is not the custom to visit friends in the afternoon.
5. Any free time in the afternoon should be spent learning Torah or doing Teshuvah or doing acts of
kindness. It is not a time for idle chatter.
6. After Minchah, it is customary to go to Tashlich.
7. If one is unable to go to Tashlish after Mincha, one can go before Mincha.
8. The custom in to recite Tashlich preferably at a body of running water [i.e. a river or stream]
where fish are found. If that is not possible, one can say it by any body of water – even a well.
9. When reciting the word “Vesashlich”, it is customary to shake out the corners or pockets of your
outer garments, which are empty.
10.It is forbidden to throw any crumbs of food into the water. [or to feed the ducks]
11. Tashlich was not designed to be a venue for socializing. [One is permitted to invite guests for
meals and should make an effort to keep the discussions focused on the theme and spirit of Rosh
Hashanah.]
Second Evening of Rosh Hashanah:
1. One should pray the evening service after Tashlich. It is preferable to say it after the stars come
out, or at least after sunset.
2. One may not make any Yom Tov preparations for the second night, light candles, or make
Kiddush until after 7:51 PM.
3. There are lenient opinions who permit asking a non-Jew to make preparations for the second
night, that do not involve actual work ( e.g. setting the table ) that can be relied on, especially
when necessary.
4. If the first day of Rosh Hashanah is not a Shabbos, there is no need for women to say “Baruch
Hamavdil Ben Kodesh Lekodesh” before making preparations for the second night.
5. Candle lighting and Kiddush are done in the same way as on the first night.
6. One should wear a new garment for candle lighting / kiddush at the second evening meal. Have
this in mind when making the “Shehechiyanu” blessing.
7. It is questionable as to whether one can make a “Shehechiyanu” blessing on any fruits. The only
fruit that one, who lives in Toronto, can definitely say the “Shehechiyanu” blessing is on eating
pumpkins and Ontario Concord grapes for the first time. This. Season..
8. If you do have such fruit, it should optimally be eaten immediately after Kiddush.
9. No one else besides the one who lights candles and / or makes kiddush says the “Shehechiyanu”
blessing.
10.Some people have the custom to eat the symbolic foods and recite the special prayers at this
meal as well.
Second day of Rosh Hashanah:
1. The procedures for this day are the same as the first day. The exception being that we do not go
to Tashlich again. If it rained on the first day or you were not able to go to Tashlich [or the first day
was Shabbos], you should do so on the second day. [If one does not have the opportunity to go to
Tashlich on both days of Yom Tov, you are permitted to do it until the seventh day of Succos –
Hoshana Rabbah.]
2. We make Havdalah after 7:49 PM by saying the blessing "Borei Pri Hagofen" & "Hamavdil" at the
conclusion of Yom Tov.
Rosh Hashanah: Yehi Ratzon – Symbolic Foods Text and Instructions
All of the Yehi Ratzons start out the same way:
"Yehi Ratzon Mil'fa'necha, Ad-noi El-heinu Vei'l-hai Avosainu..."
(The "-" represents the letter "o," which was purposely left out so as not to write out the name of G-d.)
"May it be your will, Hashem our G-d and the G-d of our forefathers..."
Listed below are the various foods and the endings, which are appropriate to them:
For dates: "...She'yitamu son'ainu." "...that our enemies be consumed."
For pomegranate: "...she'nirbeh ze'chu'yos k'rimon"
"...that our merits increase like (the seeds of) a pomegranate."
For the apple in the honey: "...she'tichadesh aleinu shana tova u'm'tuka."
"...that you renew us for a good and sweet year."
For fenugreek (or carrots - as the Yiddish word for carrots - Mehren - can also mean "to increase," this
Yehi Ratzon is appropriate as well):
"...She'yir'bu ze'chuyo'sainu." "...that our merits increase."
For leek or cabbage: "...She'yikar'su son'ainu." "...that our enemies be decimated."
For beets: "...She'yistalku oy'vainu." "...that our adversaries be removed."
For gourd: "...She'yikora g'zar de'nainu v'yikaru l'fanecha zechu'yosainu."
"...that the decree of our sentence be torn up and may our merits be proclaimed before you."
For fish: "...She'nif'reh v'nir'beh ki'dagim." "...that we be fruitful and multiply like fish."
For the head of a fish or sheep: "...She'ni'hiyeh l'rosh v'lo l'zanav."
"...that we be as the head and not as the tail."
All of these Yehi Ratzons are said on the first night of Rosh Hashanah, after Kiddush has been made,
after the blessing over the Challos (breads) has been made and the bread has been eaten. (There are
those who have the custom to eat these foods and recite the Yehi Ratzon on the second night as well.)
After the bread has been eaten, one should take the date, make the blessing that one would normally
make on fruit [“Borei Pri Ha’etz’], and then take a bite of the date. Before one has eaten the whole date,
one should recite the Yehi Ratzon. After the date, one can then have all, none, or some of the other
foods.
Researchers now speculate there might be a gut and brain connection. This suggests that it is not just psychological, but there is a GUT problem with an emotional connection. I can tell you from my experience with I.B.S., when it flares up my emotional health is not the same.
New French research have discovered that a specific bacteria that regulates appetite, may also be playing a role gut conditions – it is hard to say which comes first – the psychological conditions that leads them to forgo eating which then affects the gut. Or does problems with the gut cause the emotional issues that lead them to stop eating. Whatever the case, they are intertwined now.
Researcher at the University of North Carolina have determined that people with anorexia have far less gut bacteria in total and less diverse bacteria. The quality and quantity of bacteria in the gut is dependent on what we eat.
In the meantime, we can encourage a healthier approach for anorexics which should be implemented while they are receiving treatment and continued after. They should be fed foods that are high in nutrients that may be deficient.
The following steps may be the best approach that we have now:
1. Digestive enzymes and probiotics to aid digestion and absorption of nutrients as well as help the gastrointestinal tract function better. Depriving their system for so long of good quality foods as well as purging and/or using laxative is going to mean their whole GI tract is messed up.
2. Soothing bone broth and aloe vera gel will help aid repair of the GI tract. Aloe also promotes the growth of beneficial bacteria.
3. Nutrient dense foods with prebiotics, grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, fruits and vegetables, including fermented foods should be introduced into their diet to build the residential good bacteria. This may need to be done slowly – everyone is different and it always wise to go carefully.
4. Further gut repair may be needed but this is a good start.
5. Psychological treatment must be part of any plan. Whether the psychological preceded the gut problems or the gut led to the psychological issues – they are now influencing each other and a strategy for both is needed.
Come let me help you with some great menu ideas and help you stay on track.
Surie Weinberg, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Trained Doula
SurieWeinberg@gmail.com for more info. www.sproutsandsweets.com
References:
1. The Intestinal Microbiota in Acute Anorexia Nervosa and During Renourishment: Relationship to Depression, Anxiety, and Eating Disorder Psychopathology, Susan C. Kleiman et al, Psychosom Med. 2015 Nov-Dec; 77(9): 969–981
2. Gut Dysbiosis in Patients with Anorexia Nervosa, Chihiro Morita et al, December 18, 2015 https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0145274
3. Role of the gut microbiota in host appetite control: bacterial growth to animal feeding, Sergueď O Fetissov, Nature Reviews Endocrinology 13(1), September 2016
Reprinted from Halacha Hotline of the Five Towns and Far Rockaway
In this article we will discuss several halachos related to snow and salt – or ice melt – on
Shabbos.
1) According to most Poskim (halachic authorities), clean (i.e., not dirtied) snow is not muktzah
on Shabbos (see note)1
– whether it fell on Shabbos or before Shabbos;
2
nor is salt (fine or
coarse–koshering salt).3
It would seem that ice melt should also not be muktzah.4
2) Nevertheless, according to most Poskim, shoveling snow on Shabbos is generally forbidden
due to the principles of uvdin d’chol,
5
tircha,
6
and zilzul Shabbos.7 Moreover, if the area that one
wishes to shovel is not paved, shoveling on Shabbos is prohibited8
due to the g’zeirah (Rabbinic
decree) of ashvuyei gumos.9 Also, if the area in which one is shoveling is not enclosed by an eiruv
(or the eiruv is not operational due to the snowstorm),10 shoveling snow on Shabbos could entail
1 As long as the snow – after it melts – is still fit for bathing or for an animal to drink (see Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 338:8
with Mishnah Berurah #30).
2 Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 16:45 with note 118; Sh”ut Be’er Moshe 1:20; Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu 68:1; Chazon
Ovadyah, Shabbat, Dinei Nolad #3. Cf. Igros Moshe O.C. 5:22 #37 who writes that snow is muktzah. (Interestingly, The
Halachos of Muktzah (Rabbi Bodner) o.e. page 165 note 10 cites Rav Moshe Feinstein as ruling that snow is muktzah
regardless of whether it fell on Shabbos or before Shabbos; whereas, Sefer Hilchos Shabbos (Rabbi Eider) writes that Rav
Moshe Feinstein told him that snow is not muktzah.)
3 Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu 67:15.
4 The reason is that it is designated for a purpose (melting ice and snow), which is permitted on Shabbos (see below in the
article); see S.A. O.C. 308:38.
5 Literally: weekday actions. Actions that appear to be mundane, weekday type actions are often prohibited on Shabbos and
Yom Tov even when they involve no melachah (labor prohibited on Shabbos). See, for example, M.B. 333:1.
6 Literally: toil/bother. Actions that are strenuous or involve excessive toil are often prohibited on Shabbos and Yom Tov even
when they involve no melachah. See, for example, M.B. ibid.
7 Literally: disrespect of Shabbos, which includes doing “non-Shabbos” actions in public; see Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah
n.e. 25:11, with note 59; Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu 68:17.
8 Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 25:11, with note 58.
9 Literally: leveling indentations. Leveling a dirt floor outdoors entails the melachah of choreish (plowing); see M.B. 312:24.
(When performed on a dirt floor indoors it entails the melachah of boneh – building). Chazal (our Sages, may their memory be
blessed) prohibited any activity that could possibly lead to leveling dirt surfaces, even if the particular surface in question is
level and has no indentations. Moreover, even if the area is paved such activities are generally prohibited for fear that one will
not differentiate and level out surfaces that are not paved as well. See S.A. O.C. 337:2 with Rema, and note 20 below.
10 When snow freezes on tree branches, they are weighed down and become susceptible to breaking and falling. As they fall,
they can break the eiruv wire. In addition, depending on the nature of the wire, when snow freezes on the eiruv wire, the wire
can possibly sag sufficiently so as to render the eiruv invalid.
21 Teves, 5779 516.239.2500 Halacha Hotline-Parshas Shemos
the melachah (labor prohibited on Shabbos) of hotza’ah (carrying), when carrying the shovel or
transporting the snow or ice melt. See note.
11
3) If ice or snow on the walkway presents a risk of injury to the public (see note),12 one may have
a non-Jew apply ice melt even if the area is a real reshus harabim.
13,14 If a non-Jew is not
available, and the area is not a reshus harabim, most Poskim15 rule that a Jew may apply ice
melt16 even without employing a shinui;
17 but see note.18 There is a dispute in the Poskim whether
one may put down sand or straw (or the like) on a walkway – even if they were designated before
Shabbos and thus not muktzah.19
4) In cases of need (e.g., there is concern that the snow will melt and freeze over, or if the large
amount of snow makes it difficult to walk), if the walkway is paved (see note),20 one may have a
non-Jew shovel the snow manually (i.e., without the use of bulldozers or snow blowers), even if
the area is a reshus harabim.21 One should commission the non-Jew before Shabbos to shovel on
Shabbos. If one did not make arrangements before Shabbos, one may even commission a non-Jew
on Shabbos to shovel on Shabbos if one does not use any terminology of hiring and no price is
discussed.22 One may say “I’ll take care of you after Shabbos” or “We’ll discuss particulars after
Shabbos.”
5) If one has a contract with a company to remove snow on one’s property with plows or snow
blowers, one should stipulate that they should not come on Shabbos. If they do come on Shabbos,
11 However, carrying the shovel or transporting the snow or ice melt is not considered zilzul Shabbos (Sh”ut Machazeh
Eliyahu 68:17). There is a discussion in the Poskim (based on the Magen Avraham 320:15) whether breaking up ice that is
attached to the sidewalk or ground could entail the melachah of sosair (destroying), since breaking up the ice could possibly
be considered removing part of the ground (see The 39 Melochos vol. 4 page 1098 note 47a, citing Sh”ut Har Tzvi). The
consensus of the Poskim (Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu 67:8 and Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 25:11 note 57) is that it is not
considered sosair. Several reasons are offered for this lenient ruling, one being that the connection of the ice to the sidewalk –
at least in most locales –is only temporary since the ice will melt within a few days. It should be noted that this leniency
applies only in cases of need on Shabbos; otherwise, one should not break up ice due to a possible prohibition of sosair (see
M.B. 320:36).
12 Defined for these purposes as three or more people (Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 25:9).
13 A halachic public domain; see O.C. 345:7-13 with Mishnah Berurah for the criteria necessary for an area to be considered a
reshus harabim.
14 Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 25:11. See Mishneh Halachos 4:45 at length.
15 Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 25:10; Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu 67:14.
16 The reason is that: 1) doing so does not involve any Biblical prohibitions since the area is not a reshus harabim and putting
down the ice melt does not constitute boneh (building) since it dissolves (Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu 67:12-13); and 2) although
doing so should involve various Rabbinic prohibitions (including carrying), in cases of a risk of injury to the public, Chazal
waived their restrictions and allowed one to perform actions that would generally be prohibited Rabbinically, such as uvdin
d’chol, tircha, zilzul Shabbos, carrying in a karmelis (which includes most non-enclosed areas that are not reshus harabim),
moving muktzah, et al.; see S.A. O.C. 308:18; Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah (n.e. 25:10 with note 52).
17 Literally: change. That is, doing so in an unusual manner.
18 Sh”ut Beer Moshe (1:28) disagrees and rules (based on S.A. O.C. 313:10 and M.B. 313:56) that a shinui is necessary. An
example of a shinui is turning a utensil upside down and placing the ice melt on the underside of the utensil, then shaking it to
apply the ice melt.
19 Sh”ut Machazeh Eliyahu (67:13) prohibits doing such since placing these items on a walkway could be tantamount to the
melachah of boneh (building); see note 9. Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah (n.e. 25:10, with notes 53 and 53*), however, allows
doing such (even though the sand and straw are mukztzah; see note 16), but only if the walkway is paved so there is no issue of
ashvuyei gumos (but see note that follows).
20 It would seem that it would be permitted only in locales in which the majority of walkways are paved; see Bi’ur Halacha
337:2 s.v. v’yeish machmirin.
21 See sources cited in note 13.
22 See S.A. O.C. 306:6, M.B. 306:14; Bi’ur Halacha 307:2 s.v. asur; and Sh’miras Shabbos K’hilchasah n.e. 28:65. See also
ibid. 30:34 with note 116.
Reprinted from The Halacha Hotline of Five Towns and Far Rockaway:
During the last decade, sushi has become quite a popular food, served at many types of venues and in people’s homes. Since sushi contains several ingredients, a question arises as to the proper b’rachah to recite when eating it. Certainly, when one eats sushi as part of a bread meal, one does not recite a b’rachah on the sushi, since the b’rachah on the bread exempts most other b’rachos (see notes).[1],[2] The question arises when one eats sushi not as part of a bread meal.
In order to resolve this question properly, we must first discuss some basic hilchos b’rachos. When one eats a food that is a composite or mixture of two distinct food items, each of which generally requires a different b’rachah, a question arises as to whether to recite one b’rachah before eating the composite food or two b’rachos – one b’rachah before eating a bit of one of the food items and a second b’rachah before eating a bit of the second food item. The proper procedure depends on several factors, some of which will be discussed here. It should be noted that these halachos are extremely complicated; in this article we will present only the main factors, and we will limit our discussion to cases in which there is no presence of one of the five grains (wheat, barley, spelt, oats, and rye) in the composite food. See The Laws of B’rachos (ArtScroll, chapter 7) for a more extensive discussion.
Often times, one of the foods in the composite food can be classified in halacha as the ikar (main [ingredient]), and the other(s) as a tafeil (subordinate [ingredient]) to the ikar. In such cases, generally a b’rachah is made on the ikar and not on the tafeil;[3] the b’rachah on the ikar effectively covers the tafeil (see note).[4] Two simple applications of this principle are: a) When one eats a bread meal, the bread is considered the ikar and (most of) the other foods eaten during the meal are considered tafeil to the bread; b) When one eats one food that has added to it a second food merely to enhance the taste of the first food (such as jelly on a rice cracker). In such a case, the first food is considered the ikar and the second food is considered the tafeil, and one recites only the b’rachah of the ikar.[5]
For example, if one wishes to eat a bowl of rice cereal – whose b’rachah is borei minei mezonos – and adds to the cereal small pieces of banana – whose b’rachah when eaten independently is borei p’ri ha’adamah, and adds milk – whose b’rachah when drunk independently is shehakol nih’yeh bidvaro, one recites only the b’rachah of borei minei mezonos since the rice cereal is considered the ikar whereas the bananas and the milk are considered tafeil (unless one added a considerable amount of banana or milk to the cereal, or the pieces of banana are large and eaten separately).[6] The reason is that the motivating factor in eating the mixture of cereal, milk, and bananas is the interest in the cereal; the milk and banana serve merely to enhance the cereal.
Sometimes, deciding which food is the ikar and which is the tafeil is not as clear-cut. For example, let us say one has a mixture of tree nuts – whose b’rachah is borei p’ri ha’eitz – and peanuts – whose b’rachah is borei p’ri ha’adamah. Are the tree nuts considered the ikar and the peanuts the tafeil, or vice versa? Halacha dictates that the food that one prefers is considered the ikar, and the other food is considered tafeil.[7] Thus, in the case at hand, if the motivating factor in one’s eating the mixture is the presence of the tree nuts, the tree nuts would be the ikar and the peanuts would be the tafeil, and the b’rachah on the mixture would be only borei p’ri ha’eitz. Conversely, if the motivating factor in one’s eating the mixture is the presence of the peanuts, the peanuts would be the ikar and the tree nuts would be the tafeil, and the proper b’rachah would be only borei p’ri ha’adamah.
If one has no preference for one over the other, and has an equal desire to eat the tree nuts and the peanuts, which should be considered the ikar? In such a case, halacha dictates that the food type that comprises the majority (that is, more than 50%) of the mixture is considered the ikar.[8] Thus, in the case at hand, if tree nuts comprise the majority, the proper b’rachah would be borei p’ri ha’eitz, whereas if the peanuts would comprise the majority, the proper b’rachah would be borei p’ri ha’adamah. This ruling holds true even if one is only the majority by a small margin.
It should be noted that this ruling holds true even if there are several types of tree nuts in the mixture such that no one type of nut comprises more than 50% of the mixture, but the tree nuts in total comprise more than 50% of the mixture.[9] For example, let say the mixture contains 35% cashews, 30% filberts, and 30% peanuts. No single item comprises the majority of the mixture. However, since the b’rachah on both cashews and filberts is the same – borei p’ri ha’eitz, the mixture consists of a majority of food whose b’rachah is borei p’ri ha’eitz (cashews and filberts) and a minority of food whose b’rachah is borei p’ri ha’adamah (peanuts), so the proper b’rachah for the mixture is borei p’ri ha’eitz. This principle is not limited to foods of the same food group (e.g., two types of nuts); it applies just as well to foods of different food groups but have the same b’rachah. For example, if a food dish contained fish, eggs, and vegetable, and the fish and eggs (whose b’rachah when eaten independently is shehakol nih’yeh bidvaro) comprised the majority of the food dish, the b’rachah would be shehakol nih’yeh bidvaro, even though neither the fish nor the eggs alone comprise the majority and they are from different food groups.
It is important to stress that – as mentioned above –halacha dictates determining the ikar based on the majority food in the mixture only if one does not have a clear preference for one of the foods in the mixture. However, if one has a clear preference for the minority – such that one is really eating the mixture only due to the presence of the minority – the minority is considered the ikar and the majority is considered the tafeil, and one would make only the b’rachah of the minority.[10] For example, let us say one is eating a mixture of tree nuts – whose b’rachah is borei p’ri ha’eitz – and chocolate chips – whose b’rachah is shehakol nih’yeh bidvaro, and the tree nuts comprise the majority of the mixture, but one has a preference for the chocolate chips, such that one is eating the mixture primarily for the chocolate chips and not for the tree nuts. In such a case, the chocolate chips would be the ikar and the proper b’rachah would be shehakol nih’yeh bidvaro. See note for an interesting application of these points.[11]
If there is no “b’rachah type” that comprises the majority, none of the food items that comprise the mixture is considered an ikar in relation to the others. Which b’rachah or b’rachos should be said in such a case? The resolution will be discussed in a subsequent article.
In next week’s article, IY”H,[12] we will discuss how the principles presented in this article apply to sushi.
[1] Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 177:1. The reason for this halacha will be explained below in the article. It should be noted that according to many Poskim (halachic authorities) the b’rachah over bread only exempts the b’rachah over the other foods if one eats a k’zayis (olive-size piece) of bread. See Mishnah Berurah 177:3 and Aruch Hashulchan 177:2. Cf. Dirshu Mishnah Berurah n.e. 177:3 note 4.
[2] One who drinks wine (or grape juice) in middle of a bread meal must recite a b’rachah over the wine, unless one drank wine for Kiddush and expected to drink more wine during the meal. See S.A. O.C. 174:1,4. Also, a b’rachah might be required when eating fruit in middle of a bread meal and when eating dessert following a bread meal. The discussion of these scenarios is beyond the scope of this article.
[3] S.A. 212:1.
[4] Such is the understanding of the majority of the Poskim (halachic authorities). See Introduction to chapter 7 of The Laws of B’rachos, with note 3.
[5] M.B. 212:1.
[6] Igros Moshe O.C. 4:43; see also Be’er Moshe 5:53. Even if during the course of eating the cereal one ate a piece of banana from the bowl independently, one would not recite a b’rachah on the banana. Similarly, if during the course of eating the cereal one sipped a spoonful of milk from the bowl independently, one would not recite a b’rachah on the milk. See M.B. 168:46. see also note in Dirshu Mishnah Berurah for more examples.
[7] See M.B. 212:1.
[8] S.A. 208:7; M.B. 212:1.
[9] Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, cited in V’zos Hab’rachah page 94.
[10] M.B. 202:31 and 212:1; Bi’ur Halacha 212:1 s.v. Im ha’ikar me’urav.
[11] Chocolate covered peanuts: If one were to eat them primarily for the chocolate, one would recite only a shehakol nih’yeh bidvaro – the b‘rachah over the chocolate, whereas if one were to eat them primarily for the peanut, one would recite only a borei p’ri ha’adamah – the b‘rachah over the peanuts. If one eats them for both the chocolate and the peanuts, there is a dispute amongst the Poskim as to the proper b’rachah. See The Laws of B’rachos page 215 for a discussion.
[12] Im Yirtzeh Hashem (G-d Willing).
Important Numbers
