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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 2361 Nuts Over Nuts?
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Q. Regarding the minhag not to eats nuts during the aseret yemei teshuva (because the gematria of egoz is the same as that of cheit), to which nuts does this actually apply?
Walnuts are called Egozei Melech.
Hazelnuts are called Egozei Luz.
Almonds are called shekeidim.
Pecans are called Pecanim.
Etc.
To which nuts does this minhag actually apply?
Thanks, and ktiva vchatima tova.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that all nuts that are known as or named egoz, even when they have an additional name, would qualify to be included in the minhag of not eating them on Rosh Hashana.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/29/2019 4:13 PM |
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# 2360 Feast of Creation
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Q. Should a seudas hodoa or a festive meal be done for the newly converted?
A. Madrich Lager (p. 86) quotes that some would advise not to do so, since this seuda is not mentioned by the Poskim. However his opinion is that in principle a thanksgiving meal should be done as we do in a bar mitzva, and it would be considered a seudas mitzva.
Horav Moishe M. Lowy Shlit'a mentioned that we find that Yisro made a Seudah after he was megayer. (Ramban). Therefore, it would be appropriate to make some type of Seudah.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is best to serve a kiddush or similar as a seudas hodoa.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/29/2019 3:41 PM |
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# 2359 Welcome to Your Home
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Q. What is the correct way to salute a newly converted Ger that one encounters after the immersion in the mikva? Does one have to say Shalom Aleichem? Does one have to recite Shecheyanu?
A. Maseches Gerim (1) mentions that after the tevila we entreat and encourage the ger with words of blessing and inspiration, such as: Fortunate are you that merited to join the Creator of the Universe and to join the ones called His children. (Birkei Yosef Y.D 268).
The new name is given after the immersion and usually a Mi Sheberach is also recited. There are different traditions and nuschaos as to the tefilos that are then said (See Igrois Moshe Y.D. 1: 161: 162 - Madrich Lager p. 85, Dinei Hagiyur Vehager).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one does not need to greet with Shalom Aleichem and should not recite shecheyanu when encountering the newly converted, but may bless them and say mazal tov.
Horav Moishe M. Lowy Shlit'a added that one has a mitzvah to greet the convert beahava, with love. Say Mazel Tov and give them a big welcome to Klal Yisroel for becoming part of the Am Hashem.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/29/2019 3:38 PM |
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# 2358 Torah Deal or Just a Meal
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Q. Can someone who usually fasts on Erev Rosh Hashana when possible, attend a siyum and thus avoid fasting?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that this case is similar to the Taanis Bechoros on Erev Pesach, where firstborns can avoid the traditional fast by attending a siyum.
The Rov added that although attending a siyum is a very important mitzva of joining and encouraging others that have learned and celebrating with them the successful culmination of their Torah efforts, especially on Erev Rosh Hashana, it should be done with the right and proper intentions and not just for avoiding a fast.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a.
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Posted 9/27/2019 2:33 PM |
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# 2357 A Late Train
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Q. Can a Baal Tokea blow shofar to train and prepare on the night of Rosh Hashana or on the morning before davening, if he has then specific intention of not being yotze with the mitzva?
A. See questions 858, 859 and 867, on the permissibility of blowing shofar at night during Elul; were we wrote: Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that one may blow at night the shofar for learning purposes.
However, the Rov rules that on Yom Tov itself, one should not blow when it is not for the purpose of the mitzva as is mentioned by Poskim, including in the morning before davening.
The Rov suggested that if the baal tokea feels he needs more preparation and training, he should do so in privacy before mincha on Erev Yom Tov, or in the morning of Rosh Hashana, while visiting one unable to come to shul, with the intention of being motze him, without being yotze himself.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 2:09 PM |
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# 2356 Stay Home?
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Q. Does an avel during shiva go to shul on Erev Rosh Hashana? If he does and that is the last day of shiva, does he return home or he is lifted from shiva at the shul?
A. Remah (O.H. 581: 1) rules that an ovel is prohibited from leaving home to go to shul and recite selichos, excluding Erev Rosh Hashana when many selichos are said. Mishna Berura (ibid. 8) quotes Magen Avrohom that the same applies to Erev Yom Kippur in locations where they also recite many more selichos.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that even if the ovel can marshal a minyan for selichos at home, but the davening in shul is more spiritually meaningful and is done with significant more kavanah and many more selichos are recited on these most important occasion, he is allowed to attend shul.
The Rov added that after davening, the ovel returns home and ends shiva there.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:57 PM |
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# 2355 Dure and Easy
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Q. Why are the piyutim of the Selichos so complicated, and difficult to understand as they use words that are totally unknown to most of us? They probably were also challenging and cryptic to the masses in the days they were composed. So why not recite piyutim that we all can easily understand and have proper kavana?
A. In Ahavas Tzion (Drosho 12) R. S. Lando zt'l (son of the Noda Beyehuda), when stating the importance of using Lashon Hakodesh in all our tefilos and piyutim, explains that an essential part of prayer is elevating ourselves, by the expressions and idioms that we use to call on Hashem and to address Him.
Vavei Hoamudim (by the son of the Sheloh, printed in his sefer) quotes Sefer Chasidim, who exhorts and demands from the masses to establish classes and shiurim, to learn all about and to explain the meaning of "tefilos, piyutim and selichos."
In that sense, the use of an elevated and prominent vocabulary was indeed intentional, to create the need of learning the pirush hamilos and the profound meaning of the selichos. This became an elemental and intrinsic hachana or spiritual preparation, for davening to Hashem.
Nitei Gavriel (Rosh Hashana 10: 4) writes that it is proper for one who does not understand the words said in selichos, to use a sefer that has translation and explanations.
He quotes (ibid. n. 6) that the Lebush Mordechai would indeed sit and learn the pirush hamilos of selichos, adding that tefilos he understands a bit, but selichos not so much.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a added that on the other hand, often when simple people recite tefilos they don't understand, on the contrary, they put all their heart into them. An example would be the recitation of Kol Nidrei.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:40 PM |
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# 2354 Say it Right
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Q. We mention always we are going to "say Selichos," in Hebrew we say "omrim Selichos," or "zogg'n Selichos" in Yidish. Should not the correct expression be "ask Selichos or lebakesh or betn?" After all, we are imploring and beseeching Hashem to forgive us, not just telling Him to do so? Don't we ussually refer to Tefila, as davening or praying?
A. There could be an allusion to be forgiving to others and saying to them I forgive you, before we ask Hashem to absolve us.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that we are addressing the act itself and not the way or form we should apply to it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:21 PM |
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# 2353 The Law on Bending
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Q. Can one to avoid giving a handshake to a woman, bow slightly with palms together, as Hindu and Buddhist do (namaste greeting)?
A. We do find that Avraham Avinu greeted the B'nei Cheiss more profusely (24: 7) And Avraham arose and prostrated himself to the people of the land, to the sons of Cheiss.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the Namaste greeting, since commonly done by all in those countries, does not carry in our days any religious connotation. Namaste translates as bowing down.
The Rov also related a similar case when Horav Eliezer Silver zt'l met with the former first lady Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt and she extended her hand to greet him. He quickly reacted by taking off his hat and bowing to her, thus elegantly avoiding a handshake.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:12 PM |
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# 2352 Seasoned Greetings
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Q. Can a man greet a woman using a high-five or fist-bump salutation? How about if he is careful not to touch her hand, (he retrieves it fast, before they touch)?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if it is done respectfully and his hand is retrieved before she has the opportunity to rise hers, or at least they don't touch, in need it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:01 PM |
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# 2351 On a Handshake
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Q. I am working in a lawyer's office. The lawyer is frum, but on the modern side. There is a client that came in and the lawyer shook hands with her. Afterwards, the lady extended her hand to me. My practice is never to shake hands with any lady under any circumstances, with no exceptions. What should I do, to avoid embarrassing my boss? It is obvious that we are both Yidden, so I cannot say that for religious reasons I don't shake hands. I also don't feel like giving this lady a lecture on how there are different opinions in Judaism.
A. On question 1336 in regard to returning a handshake to a non-Jewish lady, who is the CEO of the company, when she introduces herself to the prospective frum worker, and extends her hand to him in greeting, we wrote: Most Poskim prohibit returning a handshake. One of the first was Od Yosef Chai, (P. Shoftim 22) who quotes the European practice of clenching the hands of the host and hostess when arriving in a person's home, and states that because this expresses mutual feelings of friendship and affection, it is considered derech chibah or an affectionate act and therefore forbidden. Igrois Moshe (O. H. 1: 114) maintains that the modern handshake is likewise proscribed, even though it has become the standard greeting for men and women alike. Many other Poskim likewise rule that one may not shake any woman's hand, Jewish or not: (Oz Nidberu 2:73, Be'er Moshe 4:130,, Rivevos Efraim 8:596:8, Avnei Yashfei 2:89:1. Emes Le-Yaakov Even Ha-Ezer 21, footnote 4; Beis Avi 2:121. et. al.). There are some dissenting opinions, specially when causing embarrassment or kavod habrios is involved. It also should be mentioned that in modern times, a refusal to return a handshake is not anymore considered by many as embarrassing someone. This is due to the fact that this is constantly done by observers of other religions and individuals afraid of disease contamination).
In your particular case, foreseeing what is about to happen, one may just quickly take out a tissue from one's pocket and pretend to clean one's nose.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should point to an imaginary wound or pain in his hand. (See next questions).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 12:53 PM |
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# 2350 Judging Another on One's Own Merits
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Q. I bought a rather long list of items at a kosher store, and I was clearly cheated when being charged about ten dollars for something I did not buy. I didn't notice until I got home and I was debating if to go back and waste time that is more valuable to me than that sum. But I thought that just being mochel and forget and forgive the seller may not be correct, as he may be doing the same to other busy uncaring customers, and I may be indirectly sponsoring his stealing.
What is the correct thing to do in such situations? (I did go back, and the embarrassed seller returned the money).
A. As mentioned above in question 2347: Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one must judge others Lekaf Zechus, giving them the benefit of the doubt. If a wrong was done, we must assume it was unintentional and against their conscious will.
It is quite possible and common that the cashier made a mistake, when many items were being checked out or there are many customers waiting in line.
The fact that the seller was embarrassed, does not prove that he consciously and willingly overcharged, since people also get embarrassed by mistakes they make.
On similar situations, even when a Din Torah is involved, people assume the worst on others and neglect to realize their own mistakes and that the reality is that they were the ones mistakenly cheating.
As mentioned, the above is of utmost importance in the current Yemei Ratzon times, when we prepare for the days when Hashem will judge us all, and we wish it will also be Lekaf Zechus.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 5:28 PM |
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# 2349 Make No Mistake About It
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Q. Re - If the Baal Tokea keeps on making mistakes, can one demand from the congregation that another Baal Tokea should blow instead, or should one go to another shul if possible?
A. See question above. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one single individual cannot demand the removal of an already accepted Baal Tokea. It would require the due process established in the codes and rules of the shul. If there is a Rov in that shul, his Halacha decision is crucial.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 3:02 PM |
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# 2348 Who Blew It?
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Q. If the Baal Tokea on Rosh Hashana keeps on making mistakes in the shofar blowing is that considered to be a siman ra'a or bad omen for the congregation?
A. Mishna (Brochos 34b) teaches that if a Shaliach Tzibur that made a mistake, it is a bad omen for the people that send him, since an agent representing someone is like him.
Teshuvos Vehanhogos (O.H. 5: 176: 6) mentions that it applies also to a Baal Tokea.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that siman ra'a does not necessarily apply to a Baal Tokea, that keeps on making mistakes by shofar blowing, since in essence he is not a shaliach representing the congregation.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 3:00 PM |
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# 2347 An Answer to a No Answer Question
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Q. I applied for a job at a frum school. I emailed the director at the personal email and then realized that because it was work related-that it should go out to the work email.
I never got any response back from either emails. After a little while I was expecting something along the lines of ‘sorry the positions were filled’ or, ‘not the right fit thank you.’ ....etc. Anything?
Do I have a right to feel annoyed or hurt?
Aren’t frum Jews actions supposed to be of a higher calling. Going the extra mile?
My thoughts being that yidden have a responsibility of Derech Eretz.
Unlike the non-Jewish world where they get applicants all the time and its “normal” not to get any kind of response...
Can the Rav kindly enlighten me with the Halachah.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that on principle you are right, we are to maintain a higher calling specially if one directs a school and you should have been given a proper reply. However, one must judge others Lekaf Zechus, giving them the benefit of the doubt. If a wrong was done, we must assume it was unintentional and against their conscious will. Likely, in your case the director was overwhelmed by constant and difficult work issues. In our times people in top positions receive many numerous emails and messages, sometime even more than hundreds a day, and cannot possibly answer all.
Rather than sadly and hopelessly feeling annoyed and hurt, one should better engage in happier feelings of forgiveness and trust in Hashem's merciful direction of all events. The above is of utmost importance in the current Yemei Ratzon times, when we prepare for the days when Hashem will judge us all, and we wish it will also be Lekaf Zechus.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 2:58 PM |
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# 2346 Forgive the Forget?
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Q. Re- question above. If one forgot and the vehicle battery was not disconnected before Shabbos, but no AC, lights, clocks or indicating dials turn on when opening the door, can one be lenient in case of need?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one can be lenient in need, since the vehicle's computer does not provide at that time any essential need. This becomes a case of "eino miskaven" on a "p'sik reisha delo nicha ley," or transgressing with certainty an act, that is not intended and not needed on a Rabbinical prohibition.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 2:44 PM |
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# 2345 Shabbos Sleeping at the Wheel
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Q. Can one use a parked camper, motorhome, RV (recreational vehicle) or sprinter van or bus on Shabbos or Yom Tov, that has living quarters including bed, kitchen sink, fridge, freezer, oven, microwave, bathroom and shower, cabinets for storage. It is a vehicle that one can live in with the comforts of a modern home. It has hookups that connect water, electricity and waste for any campsite.
When one opens the doors, sleeps, eats or opens sliding doors, he does not cause light to come on.
You can turn on the water pump before Shabbos, toilet is not electrical.
A. On question 1180 in regard to climbing on Yom Tov or Shabbos on the back of a (parked) pick up truck where one build a suka when traveling and eating there. Or opening the doors of that truck if the light does not go on, or if one can push the truck (when in neutral) to a better location, in a fenced lot, we wrote:
"Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 624: 2) rules that one is allowed to build a suka on top of a “agalah” or carriage as long as it is firm enough to survive an ordinary wind. Mishna Berura (ibid. 10) also mentions to be careful that the suka should have the right dimensions.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in order to open the doors of the truck on Shabbos or Yom Tov, you may have to disconnect the battery of the vehicle since besides the lights some other unseen functions may be triggered by opening the doors in a modern computerized vehicle. (including security and temperature sensors, heating and AC controls, GPS, clock, and other indicators).
He also maintains that when needed one may push and move this truck to a desired location. (one should be careful not to press on the brakes, as the back lights will go on)"
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion in your case is similar. However, if a water pump is needed for the water to flow from the RV water storage tank, when one is not connected directly to the water provided by the campsite, even if the pump is left on before Shabbos, it may not be used since it will turn on when one opens the water tap.
Some of the more expensive models, have other automatic features, such as seat recliners, heated or cooled cup holders and other gadgets that have to be disconnected before Shabbos.
Because of the complications involved in the use of these modern vehicles, the Rov advises not to spend Shabbos or Yom Tov in them. In case of need, one should thoroughly investigate and understand the unique features of his particular model and how they work, as they do change from one type and model to another. Obtain the necessary information and diagrams, and then consult with a competent Rov.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 2:36 PM |
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# 2344 The More The Better?
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Q. Can the husband say kaddish together with the children, for his wife and their mother.
A. There are different minhagim and traditions. Although the obligation to recite kaddish, when there are sons is on them, some congregations allow the husband also to say if he so desires. Yalkut Yosef (Kivud Av Vaem 13: p. 599) adds that this applies to congregations where many say kaddish together.
Osrei Lagefen (p. 554) writes that it is "kedai" or worth it, for the husband to recite kaddish during the shloshim or yohrzait of his wife, even if she has children reciting it. Zichron Yitzchok (42: 23) adds also the rest of the year. The above is the tradition in many Sephardi and Ashkenazi communities also.
Horav Moishe M. Lowy Shlit'a maintains that indeed some have that minhag in Toronto also and he is supportive of it.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it should be recited only by the sons and not by the husband at all, as is the minhag of many communities.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 2:25 PM |
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# 2343 Moving Rituals
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Q. 2) (See re-interment question above, of a father buried in another city and being moved to Toronto.)
So they basically wanted to know:
(a) Does there have to be a shomer after the body is exhumed in F. until it is reintered here in Toronto?
(b) Is the reburial done just as a normal burial would be in terms of all the prayers, etc?
Thank you
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 403: 9-10) indeed maintains that proper shemira and honorable handling and transportation should be given to those remains.
Shiva is limited in re-interment cases to one single but complete day. We don't rule that part of the day counts as the whole day, as we do at the last day of a shiva. Keria or rending of the clothing is necessary as in the original burial (ibid. 403: 1).
There are different traditions in regard to if and which Tehilim should be recited and if any praises should be said at the re-interment act. The common minhag is that the Avelim are not required to attend the removal and re-interment of the remains.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 2:19 PM |
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# 2342 The Moving Spirit
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Q. 1) Shalom Aleichem Rebbe: I was calling about a question someone asked me about re- internment of their father from F. to Toronto.
She and her brother are not frum, but they want to have their parents buried (their ailing mother is planning on being buried here) in Toronto so they can visit the graves.
I know that there is a shailah about reburial for this reason, but they will probably go ahead anyway.
(If this is not permitted, should one help? See next question)
A. The removal of the remains requires the supervision of members of a reliable Chevra Kadisha. This is due to the need of the proper removal, not only of the body remains, but also of the earth they may have become mixed with when decomposition began. Additionally, experienced care is essential on order to honor those remains, when being extracted and transported. It is unlikely that a reliable Chevra Kadisha will engage in a prohibited disinterment act.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a suggested that if the F. Beis Olam is in danger to become in the future abandoned or neglected since the Jewish Community there today is rather small, that may be a valid reason for re- internment.
The Rov also suggested, that the children and the ailing mother buy their kevarim already now in Toronto, thus creating a Kever Avos plot, to which reburial is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
Q. 2) (See re-interment question above, of a father buried in another city and being moved to Toronto.)
So they basically wanted to know:
(a) Does there have to be a shomer after the body is exhumed in F. until it is reintered here in Toronto?
(b) Is the reburial done just as a normal burial would be in terms of all the prayers, etc?
Thank you
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 403: 9-10) indeed maintains that proper shemira and honorable handling and transportation should be given to those remains.
Shiva is limited in re-interment cases to one single but complete day. We don't rule that part of the day counts as the whole day, as we do at the last day of a shiva. Keria or rending of the clothing is necessary as in the original burial (ibid. 403: 1).
There are different traditions in regard to if and which Tehilim should be recited and if any praises should be said at the re-interment act. The common minhag is that the Avelim are not required to attend the removal and re-interment of the remains.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/20/2019 2:09 PM |
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