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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 1708 Bracha on the Right Tree
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Since the days of Nissan are over can you still say the bracha for blooming trees with Hashem’s name after Lag Baomer?
Is it better to wait until Shabbath to recite it?
Is it better to recite it with a minyan?
Should one say it and have in mind all, as we do in kiddush?
A. On question 288 we wrote; This year, due to the earliness of Pesach, the blooming of trees at this latitude occurred very late on the Jewish calendar. Although “the days of Nisan” are mentioned in regards to reciting birchas hoilonos (Brochos 43b – Shulchan Oruch O.H. 226, 1), Poiskim maintain that when required it could be said earlier on Adar (Kerem Shlomo 226,1 – Shulchan Hatohor ibid. – Bais Hayotzer 12 et al.) or after Nisan. (Chasam Sofer , hagoos O.H. 226 – Zichron Yehuda – Magid Taaluma 43b – Nitey Gavriel, Pesach I, 6, 5) and even on Sivan (Aruch Hashulchan ibid. – Nitey Gavriel ibid, see also question 83 on this forum).
In regards to waiting until Shabbos on question 287 we wrote; Yalkut Yosef (Shabbos 3, 319,77) quotes some opinions that maintain that this brocho should not be recited on Shabbos either because by engaging one’s attention on the tree one might come to collect some fruit (Moed L’kol Chai 9), or by dint of a cabalistic injunction on gathering “nitzoitzois” (spiritual sparks) from a tree on Shabbos (Kaf Hachaim 226, 4). However most Poiskim disagree and permit reciting this brocho on Shabbos. (Yalkut Yosef ibid. – Nitey Gavriel, Pesach I, 6,7).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that you can wait until Shabbos (avoid contemplating the tree) and recite together with a larger group “b’rov am” and have it adjoined to the count of the hundred brochos.
The Rov maintains that no minyan is required for reciting this brocho. However, since we always maintain that “Berov Am Haddras Melreh” or we honor of the King, when many are present, it would be preferred to have others join.
The Rov maintains that each one should recite his own brocho.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/9/2018 12:52 PM |
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# 1707 It Is a Two Way Street
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Q. An individual used to be religious, went off the derech, ending up marrying a non-Jew. This individual is definitely not a mumar l'hachis. Now he is not well. Is it proper to daven for his health, since his continuous existence is b'issur? In addition this might constitute having mercy on wicked people which the Orchos Tzadikim writes is worse than cruelty. When such a person dies is there shiva for him?
A. See question 647 where we wrote; no shiva and mourning are observed for the ones who willfully abandoned the Jewish community, converted to another religion or intermarried with Gentiles, ( Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 345: 5,) unless they openly repented before they died. (Remoh Y.D. 340: 5, Chochmas Odom 156: 3)
Although today it is customary to mourn for non-observant relatives since they are considered “Tinok Shenisbah” or being unknowingly or non-consciously nonreligious, however, intermarrying as converting to another religion are extreme acts that almost everyone would accept as willful and deliberate. (Tzitz Eliezer 13: 94, Yalkut Yosef – Avelus 14: 13, Shevet Halevy Y.D. 1: 165)
Some Poskim mention observing avelus for one hour, (Yalkut Yosef Avelus p. 302, Ma’ayan Omer 84) however, they stress that this may depend on unusual circumstances and a Posek should be consulted in every case.Besides this last Halacha, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is similar.
On question 646 in regards to kevura we wrote; Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that he should be buried in a Kever Yisroel, albeit in the established designated section.
The Rov added that one should always pray for the prompt and true teshuva specially of this type of mumarim, as they can always return.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/7/2018 4:04 PM |
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# 1706 Kashes on the Keshes
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Q. Kvod Harav, couple of questions on Lag Baomer minhagim.
2) What is the reason for the Lag Baomer’s minhag of children playing with bows and arrows, and why don’t we see that anymore today?
A. Some of the reasons given for the bow and arrow tradition are;
1) Bnei Yisaschar, (Iyar: Ch. 4) mentions that the rainbow or keshes (bow) first appeared after the mabul (flood), and symbolizes Hashem’s promise to never again destroy the world by flood. Our Sages teach that the rainbow appears when the world is deserving penalty. However in his generation, the merit of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai protected the world and no rainbow appeared during his lifetime.(A similar teaching is mentioned on Kesubos 77b, in regards to Rabi Yehoshua ben Levi).
2) Others explain that with a bow and arrow, the tension in an arched bow is exploited to propel a missile to great distances, the more one pulls on the cord, the farther the arrow will reach. Similarly, the name of the Yom Tov that Sefira leads to is Shavuos, presumably because the essence of the festivity lays in the preparation and hachonos for the Yom Tov done during the weeks of the Omer. As the pasuk reads, (Shemos 34: 22, D’varim 16: 10) “Veasisa Chag Hashevuos,” the Yom Tov requires making and all that is done during the weeks of sefirah.the more you prepare the higher and better the Kabalas Hatorah will be.
3) Another reason offered for this minhag is that in the days of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai, his students would journey and hide in the forests equipped with their bows and arrows in order to learn Torah, since it was prohibited by Roman decree. If confronted as to what they were doing there they would explain that they were simply hunting.
4) Some mention that the military nature of bows and arrows are intended to recall the revolt against the Romans in 135 C.E. This revolt was led by Rabi Akiva who was the primary teacher of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai.
5) An alternative thought. Rashi explains that Yaakov Avinu refers to a bow as a metaphor for prayer (Bereshis 48:22). This is based on the fact that Esav sought favor with Yitzchak with bow and arrow and was blessed by him with weapons of war (Bereshit 27:3, 27:40), whereas Yaakov’s tool is his voice which he uses in prayer (27:22). There is also a play on words because “bekashti”, “with my bow”, can be read “bakashati”, my prayer.
Nitei Gavriel and other seforim quote that great Rebbes would also hold a bow and arrow and even use it.
As well as we were able to ascertain this minhag it is still popular in many small children schools. However, given today’s tendencies to avoid toys that resemble weapons, or typify war and symbolize hunting, some may avoid them.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that each person should maintain the traditions and minhogim of his family and community.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a.
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Posted 5/4/2018 6:36 PM |
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# 1705 Suspicious Kaddish
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Q. Can someone who has living parents recite Kaddish Derabbanan? Can one recite kaddish for a grandparent when the father is unable to recite, and the mother is alive?
A. Poskim (Even Shoham 20, Kol Bo Al Avelus 2: p. 145, et al.), write that one who has living parents can recite kaddish derabanan when there is no one else to say it. Horav Shlomo Miller’s opinion is that it is better if he consults his parents.
Poskim maintain that one can say kaddish for a grandparent with the approval of the parents.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/4/2018 2:43 PM |
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# 1704 The Shorashim of Shloshim
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Q. How important is it to keep the shloishim day by making a siyum or a seuda with Torah learning?
A. One of the sources for observing the day of shloishim is the Zohar (Vayakhel p. 129) that establishes the day as the end of a period of din and judgment and when the neshama is permitted to enter Gan Eden.
The thirty day period may symbolize another idea and in fact makes the occasion very special. The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 35a) teaches that Rav Yehuda prayed only once every thirty days. Rashi explains that he was dedicated completely to Torah and therefore exempt. The question rises, if he was exempt because the Torah was his constant and total endeavor, why would he then pray at all even after thirty days?
The Talmud (Brochos 58) and Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 225: 1) rules that one who meets his friend after an absence of thirty days, has to recite the blessing of shecheyanu. The reason being that after not seeing a good friend for a month, one realizes now how much he needs him and misses him, one becomes aware of the absence and loss. The joy of meeting him again is strong enough now to bless shecheyanu. By the same token although learning Torah for the one who Torah is “umenaso,” his dedicated and total occupation, also constitutes cleaving to Hashem, yet it is not the same close experience attained when actually speaking to Him and Rav Yehuda could not suffer a longer time of separation.
When one looses a dear one, at the time of the death and the levaya, the sudden loss may be so overwhelming and the pain may be so consuming, that the bereaved may fail to understand and comprehend the true magnitude and meaning of their recent deprivation. But after seating shiva and calming down, when enough time has passed to meditate and reflect, to observe the now empty rooms, the missing contact and conversation, when enough time for recalling so many memories and shared experiences has already elapsed, one begins to truly understands what the loss really means and that is the observance of the shloishim.
Horav Shlomo Millers Shlit’a opinion is that the day of shloishim is indeed important, however the seuda is unnecessary.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/4/2018 2:08 PM |
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# 1703 Right On Time
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Q. This year that Lag Baomer is Thursday, if one finishes the sefira restrictions on that day, should he better wait until Erev Shabbos to cut his hair likvod Shabbos?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is unnecessary to wait until Friday and if he wishes he can cut his hair on Thursday and it would be considered Likvod Shabbos
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/4/2018 2:02 PM |
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# 1702 Riskless Bless
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Q. Someone was teaching in shul after the shkia before maariv about Lag Baomer on the eve of that day. He mentioned many times the name Lag Baomer without any intention to be or not to be yotze. Can he still count after maariv with a brocho?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one in the above situation, although in principle he can recite the brocho, it is better if he would ask someone else to recite the brocho that night and have him in mind.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/4/2018 1:58 PM |
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# 1701 Milking Lag Baomer Dry?
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Q. Kvod Harav, a couple of questions on Lag Baomer minhagim.
1) Is it true that there is a minhag to make a milchig (milk) seuda on Lag Baomer?
A. Nitei Gavriel (Pesachim 3: 59: 22) quoting Ezor Eliahu, indeed quotes a minhag to eat milchig foods on Lag Baomer. The reason given is that during Sefira days, before the completion of the seven weeks, the Jewish Nation is considered to be still in a state of tumah or impurity similar to a nidda, seeking purification. The final tahara is to be achieved at the time of receiving the Torah on Shavuos.
Since the dam (blood) of a nidda is related to milk production, the process is alluded in eating milchig.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that each person should maintain the traditions and minhogim of his family and community.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/3/2018 4:39 PM |
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# 1700 Shedding Light on Lighting
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Q. Can someone who still has living parents light a yortzait candle for a deceased friend? Is permission from the parents required?
A. One who has a father and mother should not recite kaddish yatom ((Pischei Teshuva Y.D. 376: 4) and according to some Poskim even with their approval.
However, on lighting a yortzait candle for a deceased friend or relative, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted, but he should first consult with his parents.
The Rov mainains that lighting candles for Rashb’i on Lag Baomer or for other Tzadikim in their yortzait is permitted
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/2/2018 1:34 PM |
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# 1699 Answer to Teshuva
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Q. What is the appropriate stage at which a baal teshuva should acquire and wear a hat? (This is obviously a personal decision, but perhaps the rav could offer some general guidance). Also, is it appropriate for a baal teshuva to adopt chumros and various hanhagos, and if so at what stage may he do so?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a baal teshuva should be close to a competent Rabbi, teacher or mentor who can guide him in his way back to Hashem and His Torah. What may be proper and advisable to one person, may not be for another. Singular and dedicated guidance is essential to the process of a successful teshuva. The Rov also compared an effective teshuva to the climbing of a ladder, if one is not to fall it has to be done step by step. (See also question 1446, 1255).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/1/2018 4:58 PM |
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# 1698 Been There, Davened That
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Q. If I am the tenth at a mincha minyan, but I've already davened mincha, what do I do at this one? I assume I don't say Shemoneh Esrei again, but I do say Amein to all brachos. Do I say Modim d'Rabbanan? Do I say Tachanun? Do I say Aleinu? Is there anything else I should or shouldn't do?
A. Anyone listening to a properly recited brocho should answer baruch hu ubaruch shemo followed by amen (Mishna Berura 124:22-23). One should also answer modim derabanan as well as kedusha, kaddish and barchu including reciting alenu together with the tzibur.
Although some Poskim disagree, (See Beis Avi O. H. 3: 6), Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one does not repeat tachanun.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/30/2018 1:21 PM |
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# 1697 Just Hang Up
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Q. What should one do when he picks up the phone on a Friday afternoon and, to his horror, discovers that the caller is a non-religious Jewish family member who is now in a part of the world where Shabbos has already begun (or might have already begun - as sometimes one is not sure)? Should he hang up immediately on the person who is calling? Is one is asked a question by that person, may he answer the question?
A. Piskei Teshuvos (246: 7) permits one living in a time zone where Shabbos has yet not started or has already ended, to phone or to contact on line a Gentile that is actually on a time zone where it is Shabbos and instruct him to do prohibited melochos. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is prohibited. However, all agree that he certainly would not be permitted to cause or help a Jew to desecrate Shabbos in the place he dwells, as he would transgress on the prohibitions of lifnei iver (placing a stumbling block in front of the blind) or at least on helping someone commit a sin, even if he is not a religious individual.
Therefore Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a advises to just curtly say it is Shabbos and will contact latter and then hang up.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 5:00 PM |
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# 1696 A Wonder on A Wonder
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Q. My daughter works in the Yonge & Finch area and since it was a nice day she was sitting on a bench in a small park when the van that killed and harmed so many people run some feet in front of her. A person was struck and the body landed next to her. She was in total shock and is having a hard time recoverin.
Does she have to Bench Goimel? In the ezras noshim on Shabbos? She is not married yet, should I the father bench for her and she listens?
A. On question 10 we wrote; In Shulchan Aruch O.CH. 219,9 and Mishnah Brurah ibid. 32, the Halacha dictates that we should recite Hagomel when encountering and experiencing a factual and real danger, and being saved from it, even if the deliverance was not seen as a miracle, such as a wall falling on someone or an incident with dangerous armed robbers. See also Piskey Teshuvot ibid. and 318, 10.
Harav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a is of the opinion that if someone is indeed in a car that spins out on the highway and miraculously does not get hit by another car, does not recite this Brocho, however if he did hit the guardrail and there was damage done to the vehicle he should bless Hagomel.
In question 843 in regards to a man saved from a black bear about 90 meters away, because the wind was working in his favor, and the bear didn’t pick up his scent, we wrote; Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’”a opinion is that Hagomel should not be recited unless someone was actually in danger and then saved. He further explained that being endangered could be defined as a statistically meaningful probability of being hurt. A situation defined in Halacha as “Miut Hamotzui” a small but significant enough probability to be taken into serious consideration, (some Poskim maintain it is a ten percent probability, but other numbers are also mentioned) The above means, that similar encounters at that distance, wind direction, and species of bears, have resulted in actual injury or trauma, which is clearly not your case.
In this last case, in reality it is unlikely that the van would in purpose deviate from the sidewalk and hit the trees and park benches around her, since the drivers intention was hitting as many people on the sidewalk as he could.
Even when the case warrants reciting Hagomel, if women recite this brocho is debatable, since it has to be said in the presence of a minyan of men. Sephardic women in general do. (Birkei Yosef 219: 2, Kaf Hachaim ibid. 3, Ben Ish Chai – P. Eikev 8, et. al.). Ashkenazim however, differ in their minhagim, but mostly don’t. (Piskei Teshuvos 219: 10). In regards to a woman giving birth or after one’s wife gives birth, when the yoledes attends shul for the first time, some have the minhag that the husband recites Hagomel and has her in mind (Mishna Berura 219: 17 - see question 610).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that usually women don’t recite this brocho in chutz laaretz and it suffices if they come to shul and recite with kavanah a Tehilim Mizmor of praise and thanks to Hashem.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 3:44 PM |
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# 1695 A Fortunate Soldier
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Q. I’m joining the army as a chaplain. What should I do with lighting candles before Shabbos inside an army camp? The lighted candles can not be left unattended.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is best if you can light protected candles such as yortzait ones with a brocho in the dinning room, even if after the end of the meal they would be turned off and saved for you by the waiters. If the above can not be done, you may also leave a lit electric lamp in your room and recite a brocho on it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 3:41 PM |
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# 1694 Boot Camp
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Q. I’m joining the army as a chaplain. Can I carry inside the building or inside the fenced army camp during Shabbos?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that even if they are other Jewish soldiers stationed in the camp it is permitted, since the camp belongs to the army, an enrolled soldier is dwelling as a “guest” in their property and can therefore carry without an eiruv chatzeiros.
As far as the fenced outside camp, if the doors are more than five meters wide, but for security reasons are mostly kept closed, the door slides on a frame with an upper edge, it is a double door, or has a protective chain or bar, it is permitted. If in doubt whether the door is closed on not, it is also permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 11:45 AM |
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# 1693 Special Forces
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Q. I’m joining the army as a chaplain. Can I have the cook warm my special double wrapped kosher food on Shabbos? He knows it is for me.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that you may ask him before Shabbos to put it in the oven at the same time and together (on top) of the other covered food. This will result in the cook doing a melocho mainly for the Gentiles.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/26/2018 11:29 PM |
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# 1692 Bad Hair Day
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Q. Hello Rabbi I am waiting for a response about my shailoh of lo yilbosh for a man dyeing his hair nowadays.
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 182: 2) rules that a man who colors even one white hair black, transgresses the Biblical prohibition of “Lo Yilbash,” (Devarim 22: 5), a man should not dress like a woman. Whether a person whose hair prematurely turned white is permitted to color his hair dark so that he will look his age rather than older than his age, depends on the purpose and reason of the dyeing. If done for beauty reasons many Poskim prohibit, but they permit when it is done to avoid embarrassment or to be hired, secure a job or maintain office. (See Sheorim Metzuyonim Bechalocho 171: 1, Igrois Moshe Y.D. 1: 82 and 2: 61, Nishmas Avrohom Y.D. 2: p. 137, quoting R. Z.S. Auerbach zt’l )
See also question 563, on whether a man can trim his eyebrows if they are unruly and get into his eyes.
We wrote: “Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 182: 1) rules on the prohibition to remove bodily hair growth. However Mordechai (Shabbos 50: 327) permits in cases of great discomfort or pain.
Nishmas Avrohom (Y.D. 182 p. 140) quoting Horav S.Z. Auerbach Zt”l that permits the removal of embarrassing excessive hair between the eyebrows.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that the eyebrows can be trimmed for the sake of one being able to see properly, but not with the exactness and meticulousness typical in women’s facial treatment.”
Although some contemporary authorities may be lenient, the Rov’s position would be similar to above in our case. He added that the fact that there are dyeing products manufactured and marketed specifically for men and many men do use them, is of no relevance when they are used just as a beautifying agent.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/26/2018 3:19 PM |
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# 1691 Double Check
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Q. If someone was visiting in Eretz Yisroel when they were reading a different parsha that Shabbos (Tazria – Metzora) and in Chutz Laaretz (Shemini). And then returns and will listen a second time the next Shabbos this same two parshios, does he also have to repeat the Shnaim Mikro and Targum he reads every Shabbos morning?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he does not have to repeat the reading of the two parshios with Targum that he already did a week before. (See also Betzel Hachochmo 1: 9, Beer Moshe 7).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/26/2018 12:05 AM |
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# 1690 Walking on Eggs
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Q. I have a non-Jewish neighbor who is very friendly and does us many favors. He offers every year to my children Easter chocolate eggs. They don’t eat them because they don’t have kosher certification. We usually also buy for his children the same, because we want to keep a good relationship. Is giving or hiding Easter eggs for the non-Jewish children to find, permitted?
A. Easter eggs, also called Paschal eggs, are decorated eggs that are usually used as gifts on the occasion of Easter. The oldest tradition is to use dyed and painted chicken eggs, but a modern custom is to substitute chocolate eggs wrapped in colorful foil, hand-carved wooden eggs, or plastic eggs filled with confectionery such as chocolate. Eggs, in general, were a traditional symbol of fertility and rebirth expressed during spring in many ancient pagan traditions. (From Wikipedia).
It is interesting to note (lehavdil), that Mei Hashiloach (Likutim at the sefer’s end) explains our tradition based on the Levush (O.H. 476: 2) of eating a hard boiled egg during the seder night, as an allusion to Pesach resembling the egg or emerging and nascent life force, from which eventually the Torah will be received on Shavuos.
However, since in Christianity this type off eggs do carry the message of resurrection, Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a recommends to reciprocate to your neighbors by presenting them with traditional Jewish gifts such as chocolate covered matzos or macaroon candies etc.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/25/2018 12:18 AM |
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# 1689 Not That Social
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Q. What is Horav Miller opinion in signing into Facebook, Linkedin or Whatsapp? Are there issues of lashon horah and rechilus involved?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’s opinion is that Bnei Torah should abstain from using any of the methods of social media on-line.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/24/2018 12:50 PM |
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Important Numbers
