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# 3974 Welcome to the Welcome
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Q. Another Hachnasat Orchim (welcoming of guest question) - Rabbi. My wife and I, are engaged for years in being Mekarev people by inviting then to the Friday night Seuda. These are individuals, men and women that are not necessarily religious at all, and when seating at the table they talk between them not only 'Devarim Betelim" (unworthy not Torah words) but likely also Lashon Hara'ah, anti-religious statements and other forbidden speech also.
Is this permitted? What do other people who carry on similar Hachnasat Orchim and Kiruv programs do? Do the end results permit the questionable beginnings?
A. Some Poskim do permit saying Devarim Betelim or words without value to rejoice the guest (Minchas Shabbos - Shiurei Mincha p. 157.
Toldos Yaakov Yosef quotes the Baal Shem Tov that for the purpose of Kiruv, even questionably prohibited words can be said. (See also Naharos Eison 20: 4).
Out of experience, the best way to carry on properly these most important and transcendental Kiruv - Shabbos meals properly and effectively, is to have a program already prepared well before. Not only the singing of Zemiros together is essential, but most important is the engagement in interesting Divrei Torah and stories that people want to hear and enjoy.
I have seen some hosts asking their guest, not to bring any presents, but rather to prepare a nice 'Vort' (short Torah saying) that they can repeat at the table.
Not only does a well prepared program make the meal a beautiful and memorable experience, it is a real truly very effective tool for Kiruv.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 11:00 PM |
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# 3973 Honor the Guest of Honor
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Q. Rabbi. Some relatives are visiting and staying with us and we are expected to pick them up from the airport. If I usually attend at that time a Torah shiur. Is it correct that I should call an Uber service and attend my daily Torah Shiur.
A. Talmud (Shabbos 127a) makes a surprising radical statement: "Greater is Hachanasat Orchim (welcoming guests) than receiving the Divine Presence." Achavas Chesed (3: 1) rules accordingly and recommends he attend preferably to his guest, when they are people of importance or no one else is available to receive them.
However, if he is the one teaching the Shiur, since then the Torah learning of many is involved he should provide other ways to receive his guest.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that, even when he is only attending the Shiur, that takes precedence.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:55 PM |
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# 3972 The Thoughts that Count
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Q. Dear Rov. My grandfather became totally paralyzed, but seems to be he is conscious. I know he would very much like to put on Tefilin every day as he did all his life. Can I put Tefilin on his paralyzed hand? Can I make a bracha for him?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that you should not put on Tefilin on your grandfather, since he is unable to watch and keep himself clean and that is essential on putting on Tefilin.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:53 PM |
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# 3971 Identity Crisis
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Q. A most unusual case was encountered by a Yeshiva student that is part of a Baal Teshuva family, On a recent Friday, while looking through some old family documents, found the conversion certificate of his maternal grandmother. To his overwhelming shock he realized it was a done by a Conservative temple, after searching online and contacting the institution, it became obvious to him that it was invalid since the people signed on it were not Shomer Shabbos.
Since all over sudden to his profound distress, he realized he is not Jewish and cannot daven and even keep Shabbos, he contacted us to see what could be done on the half a day before Shabbos begins.
A. We recommended him to immediately contact his Rov or Rosh Hayeshiva. Indeed he was able to make an appointment for a Beis Din to come together on the Monday after, and do an act of Orthodox Gerus.
After consulting with Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a, we told him to get immediately three unrelated teachers or friends from his Yeshiva and ask them to meet at the local Kosher Mikva and undergo an act of Gerus or conversion accepting all mitzvos of the Torah. He required prior to that also an act of "Hatofas Dam Bris" or drawing a few drops from the place of Bris Mila which he had. That should be preferably done by a Mohel before entering the Mikva.
He was indeed successful in performing before Shabbos began his emergency conversion.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:51 PM |
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# 3970 Break the Ice Bread?
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Q. If one is missing a Chala for Lechem Mishna can he use a frozen one from the freezer?
A. On question 1582 regarding an individual (invited) at the meal has a dietary restriction and can only eat certain special types of bread (e.g., gluten free, spelt), should the special loaf (even if it is not whole) be placed together with the main Lechem Mishneh receiving hamotzi from the baal habeis?
To what we answered: "Many Poskim maintain that one complies with Lechem Mishne even when one is unable to eat from the second accompanying Chala, such as a frozen bread. (Teshuvos Vehanhogos 2: 170, Minchas Yitzchok 9: 42, Shevet Hakehossi 2: 116, Nishmas Shabbos 2: 157, et. al.). However, one should on the onset, have a complete bread of the kind he can eat.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if the Baal Habais is reciting the brocho and is being Moitze everyone else present with his brocho, it is better that the special bread should also be placed with the others, so the brocho will be recited on it too."
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:48 PM |
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# 3969 Know Where You Stand
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Q. Does one have to stand and honor a Rabbi, parent or elderly person when he is seen through a window, a glass or plastic partition in a shul (Mechitza) or a mirror?
A. Horav Chaim Palachi zt'l in Zechira Lechaim (Behaaloscha) mentions that one is not obliged to stand for the ones he has to honor, even when they are close by (four Amos), when they are seen through glass or a mirror.
However, Hilchos Ketanos (1: 274) disagrees and rules one should stand.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that since the parent and offspring are in different domains, even if they can see each other there is no obligation to stand.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:43 PM |
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# 3968 Stand Corrected?
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Q. Dear Rabbi. I have always wondered since I'm both a son and a father, why is it that children don't stand for their parents in our days when they enter the room they are? Is that not part of the mitzva of Kivud Av Vaem (honoring your father and mother) that certainly applies today.
A. Sefer Chasidim (152 - See also Hava'as Da'as Y.D. 240: 19) maintains that parents can and should forgive their honor due from their children, to avoid their being punished when, as it often happens, they don't comply properly with the mitzva.
Bris Olam (ibid.) further explains that although it seems that parents can only forgive the 'Dinei Adam" or the enforceable rulings, but not the spiritual mitzva itself, on small issues they are empowered to forgive completely.
Teshuvos Vehanhagos (3: 276) debates the difficulty of parents forgiving the respect due to them since it is compared to the honor that we must give to Hashem. He advises to at least demand they stand twice a day.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it depends on the situation and where the parents and offspring are.
When the father enters a shul or Bais Midrash it is common for the sons to stand up. It also varies on local Minhogim and each should follow his family traditions.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:39 PM |
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# 3967 Pray Tell Me!
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Q. On question 1892 you mentioned that Horav Miller rules that a person who is davening Maariv on Motzei Shabbos 50 minutes past sunset, and his custom is to prolong Shabbos for 72 minutes, to say the Havdala of Ata Chonantanu, even if he still keeps the prohibition of doing work until that time has arrived.
Why is it permitted to say the above since it contains a Tefila for the personal needs of the coming weekdays we are about to start and those should not be said on Shabbos?
A. Actually there are several prayers we recite during Shabbos for our personal needs. Some examples are 1) Tazileni Meazei Panim after the brochos of the morning. 2) Sim Shalom. 3)Elokai Netzor after Shemone Essrei. 4) Yekum Purkan before Musaf. 5) Birchas Hachodesh before the beginning of the month, and others.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that only the reciting of private Tefilos on personal needs is avoided during Shabbos to avert thinking of those needs and getting involved in the worries and pains they reflect, that is forbidden during our day of rest and enjoyment.
However, the Rov maintains that when those Tefilos are printed in Sidurim and all say them, they are not part of the above injunction. The same would apply to the the prayer included in Ato Chonantonu.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/10/2022 10:36 PM |
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# 3966 When Hashem Wills
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Q. Is saying Im Irtzeh Hashem (If Hashem wills) when asked to perform a mitzva such as attending a shiur or a minyan similar to saying Beli Neder or without promising?
A. It would seem to depend on how it is said and with what implied intention.
However, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should say Beli Neder even when saying Iy"H..
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/6/2022 3:32 PM |
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# 3965 Don't Draw First Blood
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Q. Kevod Harav. When one has to inject during Shabbat pain killers or insulin, does one have to be careful not to inject into a vein?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that indeed one should be careful and avoid injecting directly into a vein or artery when not required, as drawing blood from them into the syringe may be a Biblical prohibition. The needle should go into muscle or other tissue when medically also recommended.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:26 PM |
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# 3964 Get it Right the First Time
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Q. If when davening one looses concentration and says some tefilos, brochos and mizmorim without Kavanah, can one repeat them?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that on the Mizmorim, psalms and Bible chapters recited in Pesukei Dezimra one can repeat them when said without intention as long as he says a complete Pasuk.
During the blessings of Shema or Shemone Ezrei one should not repeat words that were said complete even when not recited with Kavana.
The chapters of Shema can be repeated after the fact, if said without intention.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:25 PM |
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# 3963 They Just Never Met?
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Q. Dear Rabbi: Since Noach was born in year 1056 and was Niftar on 2006, while Avraham Avinu was alive from 1948 until 2123, they were together for almost sixty years. How come there is no mention whatsoever that Avraham Avinu visited or met with Noach?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that after the Ma'abul, when Noach became an 'Ish Ha'adamah,' an earthly man and drank wine, even though Noach saved humanity and we all owe our lives to him, still there was not likely any great common ground between them.
Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a added that since Noach lived in Eretz Yisroel and Avraham Avinu had not arrived there yet, it was unlikely that he would have traveled from Ur Casdim earlier.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:23 PM |
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# 3962 Have a Cake and Eat it Too
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Q. When one attends a Kiddush on Shabbos morning after davening and they serve pastries and small cakes, should one be observant in "Lechem Mishne" and make a brocho (Mezonos) on two together, as one would do with Chalos?
A. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (77: 17) rules one should keep Lechem Mishne even on small cakes. However other Poskim disagree. (Orchos Chaim 289: 5 - Da'as Torah ibid. - K'tzeih Hamatteh 625: 75, and others).
Piskei Teshuvo (274: 8) quotes that the minhag of RS"Z Auerbach zt"l was to keep Lechem Mishne.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar and he mentioned that he follows this minhag.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:21 PM |
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# 3961 Take Good Care of All
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Q. Kvod Horav. I often visit sick people in a nearby hospital to my office, and after talking and comforting them I recite a Tefila as required. Frequently, there are more than one patient in the room and usually it is not Jewish. Do I have to go over and visit him also if I see the patient is interested? Do I also have to also recite a prayer for him?
A. Talmud Gittin (61a) teaches that we visit the Gentile ill together with the Jewish ones. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 335: 9) and Rambam (H. Melachim 10: 12) rule the same. The reason given is to promote 'Darkei Sholom' or ways of peace and mutual understanding and care.
Many Poskim mention that we visit them even by themselves.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one can also recite a prayer for them as it is a Kiddush Hashem.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:19 PM |
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# 3960 Pull Up that Chair
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Q. See question above. Can one sit during Shabbat on a electric vibrator and massage chair when it is disconnected? One can see the controls on the side of the chair, is it permitted?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that as opposed to the walker, usually this is closer to watch and very often it is used when not on, so it is permitted. It is similar to analogous beds that seniors or hospitals use and should be disconnected during Shabbos
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:17 PM |
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# 3959 Careful How you Walk
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Q. Can a Senior use during Shabbat in need an electric walker that is not turned on and just works as a regular non-electric walker?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since it may be difficult from a distance to see if the motor is on or not, it should be avoided as there may be an issue of "Ma'aras Ayin' or doing something that looks as a prohibited act.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:16 PM |
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# 3958 What's in a Name?
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Q. A religious director of a kosher food company, calls the women working as supervisors Mashgachas. One of these women was very insulted for being called that name. What is really their correct title to name them?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if the men performing that job are called Mashgiach, the female counterpart is named 'Mashgicha.'
One should apologize for calling someone a perceived insulting name.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 11/3/2022 10:11 PM |
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# 3957 The Real Shtick or Treat
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Q. Dear Rabbi; (Translated from Spanish). You may remember me. I'm a covert and my family originates from the State of Campeche, on the Yucatan Peninsula. In Mexico there is no Halloween celebration, rather as you well know, the Three Days of the Dead are kept.
One particularly unique celebration is known as Hanal Pixan tradition and it happens in Pomuch, a small town in the Campeche state. Here, people open the graves and clean the bones of their deceased and buried loved ones, which is an ancient Mayan tradition. This is how they pay homage to their deceased family and friends.
Once a person has been dead for three years, they keep their bones in a wooden box and clean them each year during Hanal Pixan. If they don’t, it’s believed that the spirits will be angry and act out on the streets.
You can observe this tradition taking place at the Cementerio de Pomuch, Cemetery in Campeche and it attracts many observers. Families start by cleaning the smaller bones and then move to the skull. Throughout the ritual, they’ll be praying, and talking to their loved ones.
I was invited by my (former) family to join them and watch this interesting tradition. Is it permitted for me to join them?
A. On question 2913 we wrote: "In Mexico instead of Halloween, people celebrate the next day the “Dia de los Muertos” or the Day of Dead, which is remarkably different. Often candles, flowers and the favorite foods of the deceased are placed on the grave and the family visits the cemetery, eats, sings and tells favorite stories about those who have passed.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should not take any part of such meetings and celebrations as they are tantamount to Avoda Zarah or serving strange deities
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See questions 824 and 1334 regarding the contact of a convert with his biological family.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/2/2022 3:15 PM |
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# 3956 Shtick or Treat
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Q. Hi Dear Rabbi. A person who is a partner and in charge of a number of large apartment buildings in which there are also some tenants who are Jewish, should he permit as is customary for the Super to give or to place trays of candies for the children of the building that the company pays for, to enjoy during Halloween? Is that permitted in Halacha?
A. On question 1485 we mentioned: "We have some Modern Orthodox neighbors that let their kids join the others in the block (many Jewish) and go around collecting candies on Halloween, is that permitted? Should we advise them not to do it? Can we give children that ring our bell candies?
To what we answered: "Halloween is a shortening of All Hallows’ Evening, also known as Allhalloween, or All Saints’ Eve, is a festivity observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It begins the three-day observance dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed.
It is widely believed that many Halloween traditions originated from ancient pagan Celtic harvest festivals, particularly the Gaelic festival Samhain, and was Christianized as Halloween by the early Church. Today’s Halloween customs, are a combination of Celtic, Roman and Christian holidays. In essence, Halloween is not a secular holiday.
Halacha prohibits celebrating gentile holidays
(Remah Y.D. 178: 1). Even though some gentile holidays today may not be considered idol worship, the law which commands us not to behave in the customs and manners of the gentiles, still applies.
Therefore, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is to refrain from letting children join others on their Halloween traditions. However, if there is an issue of Chilul Hashem, the Rov maintains that you may give candies to the children that visit you."
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if the Super is doing the distribution and if the refusal to give out those candies would cause feelings of resentment and rancor against the Jewish owners of the building and thus also a Chilul Hashem, it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 11/1/2022 4:10 PM |
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# 3955 The Beginning of the End
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Q. We just finished learning Maseches Kesuvos in our Daf Hayomi shiur. What is the best way to end the Maseches. Should one learn it completely until the end and then have to do the Siyum Seuda and celebrate on that very occasion.
Or is it better as many do, to leave out the last paragraph or some lines of the last page, until one is ready and prepared to make and use the Siyum Seuda in the right propitious occasion and setting?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is better to finish and bring the learning to completion immediately.
Since we always say that the one who starts a mitzva should bring it to completion.
Yet, the above does not stop one from repeating the ending at the right propitious occasion and setting, and then doing the Seuda. This is similar to the ending of one of the Chumashim of the Torah reading on Shabbos and saying Chazak, and then repeating it for the Maftir reading.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 10/27/2022 10:57 PM |
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Important Numbers
