Defensiveness isn't the most pleasant thing to deal with - in oneself or in another person. Help reduce defensiveness in your children by remaining calm and pleasant when they make mistakes and do things wrong. After all, everyone messes up. When your child forgets or neglects to do something, or does it the wrong way, or doesn't listen or otherwise acts like a regular human youngster, smile. Smile the smile of recognition, as in "Ah yes, I've done that myself so many times!" Smile the smile of acceptance, as in "It's a normal error; it doesn't mean anything terrible or catastrophic." Smile the smile of patient understanding, as in, "Okay. So how can we help you be more successful next time?" And finally, smile the smile of love, as in "Doing something wrong doesn't change how great I think you are and how much I love you."
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