A toddler who tantrums is behaving perfectly normally for his age. His lack of sophisticated emotional and verbal regulation skills is to be expected. However, a school-age child doing the same thing, is a different story. Be careful not to reward dysregulated, manipulative and/or disturbed behavior in older children by changing your mind after it occurs, bribing or negotiating with the unhappy youngster, working hard to make him "happy," or otherwise offering comforts and benefits as a result of the dramatic and erratic behavior. Instead, wait quietly (and kindly) for the storm to pass and then teach this child the necessary emotional and verbal regulation skills. Give him an opportunity to practice those skills and THEN reward him with your full attention and a pleasing response.
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