When your child tells you to stop naming his feelings or otherwise indicates that he doesn't like your attempts at emotional coaching, consider these 2 possibilities: 1) You are naming his feelings while he is extremely upset. When adrenalin is flowing, the listening brain is "offline." Wait until your child has calmed down a bit before trying to name his feelings. 2) You sound inauthentic (and manipulative). This happens when we try to name feelings without FEELING them. Try this: Imagine your child told you he had nothing to do and was having an awful day. Instead of quickly naming his feeling ("Sounds like you're bored."), take a moment to remember a time when YOU had nothing to do and were bored out of your mind. Remember how awful that felt. When you have the feeling inside of you, THEN name your child's feeling ("That sounds awful! Soooo boring! I hate when that happens!"). Remember, naming feelings is NOT a technique: it is a heartfelt communication. As the sages say, "Words from the heart enter the heart" - your authentic communication will be well-received
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