You're so upset you want to scream, BUT instead, you force yourself to speak very quietly and very slowly. Doing so gives your brain the impression that you are feeling calm and so it sends you more calming chemistry. You maintain your cool under pressure AND your calm demeanor helps calm your kids down as well. Had you let out that scream, your brain would have decided that you are dealing with an emergency and it would have sent you more emergency chemistry which would have caused you to escalate even more which would have triggered your children to do the same! Speak low and slow to trick your brain - and your children's brains - into calmness.
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