Should a parent let her child experience on her own, so that when she finds the truth she'll be stronger?
ANSWER:
It's too expensive to learn by experience. If you're going to let a child fiddle around with a lighted gas range, she wouldn't have a chance to learn from experience. There are people who allowed their children to learn from experience, but their children weren't around anymore to use the experience. Therefore, you have to use your experience and transmit it to the child by means of words and by means of a strap. A strap is a very good conductor of experience.
You learned that to run in the street, to play in the street is not conducive to good health, but a child doesn't know that. When a child persists on running into the street, you are justified in being strict and chastising him; it's the biggest hatzoloh, you're saving his life. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu chastises us, He does the same thing; He transmits His experience to us too.
Therefore we can't afford to let anybody experience anything; vicarious experience is the best way.
I know a case of one rosh hayeshiva who made a very big error; he still thinks he's right. He said he allowed evolution to be taught in his high school. And when there was a complaint he said, better let the boys come in contact with it now, then on the outside, he wanted to inoculate them. So if he would inoculate them with arguments against it, maybe...but he was inoculating them with arguments for evolution because the teachers were apikorsim. So what kind of talk is that? It's just an excuse because he wanted to use the free textbooks that he gets for nothing. That's his excuse; it's only irresponsibility.
We cannot let our children experiment, once a child gets hooked on bad things then it's almost goodbye.
Good Shabbos To All
Thisl is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
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