It is reported about a great Rav and his Rebbetzin that they made a pact with each other upon their marriage--when either of them would begin to get upset at the other, they would say to themselves 'Zeit Mevater--I am going to give in.' More than 50 years later, they recalled how successful their 'pact' had been. Interestingly, when someone recently went to the home of HaRav Binyomin HaTzadik Zilber, Shlita, in Bnei Brak, and asked for a Bracha for his home, HaRav Zilber responded, 'Be Mevater'you be the one to give in! Indeed, the Gemara (Rosh Hashana 17A) relates that Rav Huna, the son of Rav Yehoshua, was about to pass on to the next world, and another Amora asked that shrouds be brought in to take care of the soon to be deceased as soon as possible. Incredibly, the dying Amora recovered. When he was asked how this could have happened, he responded that he had undergone Heavenly Judgment, and that Hashem had told the Heavenly Court that because he was 'maavir al midosuv--he looked the other way' and didn't take the potential hurt to heart, the Heavenly Court also looked the other way and allowed him to live. Applying this concept of 'Zeit Mevater' only two or three times a day, whether it is in the home or elsewhere, can have a tremendous impact on one's personality--and ultimately can actually save one's life!!
The Michtav M'Eliyahu (Volume 4, p.77) brings in the name of HaRav Yisroel Salanter, Z'TL, that even if the gates of prayer are closed, the gates of prayer for Hashem's assistance in ruchniyus, in spiritual matters, always remain open. This is a tremendous gift! When each of us davens, in Shema Koleinu or in Elokai Netzor, we should add a sincere request that we reach and even go beyond (for anything is possible) our potential in ruchniyus, that our actions bring about Kavod Shomayim--Hashem's Honor, and that Hashem be able to say about us '...Avdi Ata Asher Bichu Espaer' 'you are my servant, and I am glorified by you' (Yeshiya 49:3). It is said about the Brisker Rav, that he would at various points throughout the day recite the words 'Lishuoscha Kivisi Hashem--For Your salvation do I long for, Hashem.' Reciting these concise and potent words throughout the day with the thought that you wish to improve as a person, in this area or that area, or in this respect or that respect, can go a long way, traveling through those wide open gates.
Shlomo HaMelech, the wisest of all men, teaches us 'Biyom Tova Heyei B'Tov' (Koheles 7:14)--when things are going well, or at least better than you had otherwise expected, Shlomo HaMelech reminds us to express in no uncertain terms our recognition and our appreciation for the good. Here is a brief sampling of various things which may be 'going good' for us today, on a particular day, or every day. Everyone can make his own list, and modify it (Be'Ezras Hashem always adding to it) from time to time. The good that I thank Hashem for includes
Clothing: warm, comfortable, more than one of each kind, makes me look better, helps identify me, and gives me respect
Food: nutritional, tasty, attractive, good aroma, so many different kinds of so many different foods, different foods for different age groups
Body: eyes that see, ears that hear, hands that touch, legs that walk, teeth in order to eat, air to breath, water to drink, mouth to help people with, a working heart, a working liver, working kidneys
Environment: the sun, the rain, the streets, the sidewalks, the grass and trees, the home
Of course, all of these are only general categories. One can literally take a notebook(s) and continue to add and add on to what he has and what he has to be thankful for. Now, add on to all of this, our Eternity(!)--accomplished or through the infinite gifts of Torah and mitzvos, performed with care and love--and our thanks becomes everlasting!!
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Reprinted with permission from Hakhel MIS
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