How could one develop the attitude of sacrifice to Hashem?
ANSWER:
One way we know is, every day when we say Krias Shma, imagine for a half-minute, or a second, as if you're being put to the test. And you're ready to do it.
So little by little, like Rabbi Akiva when he was about to be put to death and they were stripping the skin off his body-tremendous torture-and he was saying Krias Shma with joy, with happiness. His talmidim said, Rabbeinu ad kan? Even now you're able to be happy under such a distress? Not that he was wrong, but how could you attain such a great madreiga, such perfection?
So he said, kol yomei hoyisi mitztaeir al pasuk zeh (Brachos 61:2), all my life I was trying hard to get that attitude. So when I was young and healthy I was saying it with the thought someday they'll try to strip my skin, I'll love you Hashem anyhow, because I know that You are going to give me such happiness in the World to Come that will make me forget all my tribulations. I love you Hashem what you did for me, from the first day of my life until now, therefore whatever I can do for you is only in gratitude for what you have bestowed on me. And little by little a person gets into his head he's willing to do that.
By the way I want to tell you however, that of all the sacrifices that you are expected to make for Hashem, the greatest is the sacrifice of one's middos ro'os. Sacrifice your anger, sacrifice your jealousy, and sacrifice your selfishness, that's lev nishbor v'nidkeh, Elokim lo tevazeh (Tehillim51:19). Hashem will not despise a broken heart, which means broken middos.
And therefore a person who's daato shefeila, who's able to keep his mind under control, maleh ulov hakosuv k'ilu hikriv kol hakarbonos kulom (Sotah 5:); it's like he brought all the offerings. So instead of getting angry at your wife, bring an offering to Hashem and keep your mouth closed. Instead of getting angry at somebody who insulted you, keep your mouth closed; it's an offering to Hashem. Maleh ulov hakosuv k'ilu hikriv kol hakarbonos kulom, zivchei Elokim ruach nishbara, so don't worry so much about that great test. Of course your question is a good question, and we should prepare ourselves, it should never happen. But this test of our middos happens all the time, and it's very urgent for us to learn that.
And by the way, if you're thinking of getting married and you're still a young man, you better prepare yourself beforehand. Sometimes over the years that you waited, you learned to be selfish as a bachelor; you do only what you want. It makes it very difficult to get married. You think all you need is a wife, no you need more than a wife.
When you marry when you're very young, you can easily amalgamate with your wife's personality, but since you spent years alone, you're accustomed to putting all the newspapers in the corner, a pile of newspapers, a pile of magazines, you're used laundry lying around...
Now comes the boss, she starts telling you what to do, and it hurts like an acid on painful skin. Every time she criticizes you it's very difficult. You have to learn how to keep quiet, and it's a korbon; it's a sacrifice. Therefore people who want to get married have to bring these korbonos.
So therefore instead of thinking of kiddush Hashem, think about this sacrifice that you're making regularly, of shviras hamiddos, breaking the middos.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Important Numbers
