Two things always confuse me about Hanukah. Maybe you could help me with the answer.? The first is that by the second day, which candle do you light first. The new one of course. But how do you navigate your way to it. Which ever way you turn, once you light the Shammas, you pass right on by the poor other candles, who are waiting embarrassed that you didn't light them first. And if you don't light the Shammas first, then after you light the first candle, then perhaps you might be getting benefit form it and that could be a problem..
The other question is does the wife light.? The Mishnah Berurah tells us that according to the Rama everyone in the house lights except for a man's wife because Isha ke guffo - A difficult expression to translate. A man's wife is like himself, they are like one body. Therefore when the man lights, it's just as if his wife is lighting. So she does not need to light. - However, this might present a problem. What if a man's wife wants to light? She also wants to say the Blessings. So now what do we do ? - I have one possible answer to this. And that is : Have in mind not to have your wife in mind when you make the second Blessing, and Shechianu on the first day. Then after you light, your wife can light without the blessing of Le Hadlik Naire, only she - asa- nisim- le avosainu ...and then Shechianu for the first night. And then everyone is happy. And don't forget to have your extra dish this Shabbas. Shabbas, plus the extra Simcha of Hanukah. I'll spare you the picture of my special extra dish for this Shabbas. And I wish for you the blessing of light- May you feel light and see light, and be a bright example to all.