1)There is no obligation to hold the Besamim in your hands while the Bracha is recited; the Bracha may be recited with the Besamim on the table ready to be smelled. (See Biur Halacha Siman 216:12 Dibur Hamaschil Kodem. See also Shu"t Minchas Yitzchok Vol. 4 Siman 86) However, it is still proper to hold it in your right hand while reciting the Bracha, if possible. (see Ben Ish Chai Parshas V'Eschanan Siman 63) 2) It is best to smell the Besamim directly, and not do it through ac loth or another covering (as many Besamim holders have).
Even if using a covering with holes in it , it is ideal to ensure that the holes are large enough to allow the smell of the Besamim to come through strongly and properly, lest it be considered a Rayach Sh'Ain Bo Ikar, on which no Brcha may be recited. (Eishel Avraham (Butshatsh) Siman 216 and 297)
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Reader Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers. Taken from the Q & A pages on the Halacha For Todaywebsite.
Although the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes only, NOT for Psak Halacha.
I was once asked Info about a shidduch where I knew both sides and I was quite involved in the process.
The mother mentioned something about giving me a small gift when they got engaged, but she never did. (I don't really care, as long as they are happy but I do remember her mentioning that).
This couple has been married for almost 2 years and they still do not have children.
I have heard that not paying a shadchan properly can be a prevention for mazel [and prevent the couple from having children]. Is it my place to go back to the family and ask them to give me something or should I just forget about the whole thing?
Answer:
The reason that not giving shadchanus can prevent children is due to the one not receiving the gift bearing a grudge (having a Hakpada). The Steipler Zatzal, Rav Shach Zatzal and other gedolim were known to have been very makpid on Shadchanus for this reason and used to always ask those that came to them for Brachos for children after many years of marriage, if they have paid up their shadchan(im) properly.
If you truly, deep down are OK with not having received the gift then there is no point in letting them know.
However, if deep down it bothers you (as is normal, and very human) then perhaps you should somehow make them aware in a tactful way of course.
Our holy sages, the Chazal tell us
תנא דבי אליהו כל השונה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם הבא, שנאמר הליכות עולם לו, אל תקרי הליכות אלא הלכות - one who studies [at least two] Halachos daily is assured a portion in Olam Haba - the world to come. (:מגילה כ"ח )
Important Numbers
