Sunday
September 12 2010
4 Tishrei 5771; Fast Day: Tzom Gedaliya
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1) The Aseres Yemei Teshuva, and particularly Erev Yom Kippur, is the ideal time to apologize, beg forgiveness and ask for Mechila from anyone that we may have slighted in any way throughout the previous year (or longer).
Sins that require Mechila from another human being will not be wiped away with Teshuva alone, until forgiveness is sought. If one asks you for Mechila, you should find it in your heart to forgive them.
The Poskim say that if the one who wronged you does not come to you to ask for Mechila, then you (the victim) should go to him/her and present yourself to him/her in such a way to encourage them to ask you for forgiveness (Mateh Ephraim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch and others based on Gemara in Yoma 87a).
The Seforim compare this to us and Hashem. In the Yemei HaTeshuva Hashem comes down from Shamayim and makes it easy for us to ask - and receive- His divine forgiveness, as it says in the Posuk "Dirshu Hashem B'HiMatzo- Seek out Hashem when He is near".
2) Asking Mechila in a general way (e.g. "Are you Mochel way for anything and everything I may have done etc.) is sufficient for minor infractions only. However if you wronged someone in a significantly harmful way (spoke scandalous Lashon Hara about them, caused them significant monetary damage etc.) you must beg their forgiveness specifically for that infraction, and must verbalize the details upon asking.
However, if you spoke Lashon Hara about somebody and they don't know about it, and by revealing it to them (in order to ask forgiveness) you will cause them additional pain and anguish , it is better not to detail what was spoken, but rather to simply ask Mechila for speaking badly about them (Psak Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal)
Of course, when asking for forgiveness it must be sincere and you must genuinely regret what you did and resolve not to do it again. Simply mouthing the words "Are you Mochel me?" isn't sufficient. Likewise, the one who says "I am Mochel you" but doesn't really mean it, and continues to bear a grudge, is doing a disservice for all parties involved.
question
QUESTION & ANSWER CORNER
Reader Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers. Taken from the Q & A pages on the Halacha For Today website.
Although the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes only, NOT for Psak Halacha.
Questions can be emailed to HalachaForToday@Yahoo.com
Reader's Question:
Today I toveled a coffee pot.
Before I dipped it I checked and made sure there were no stickers or anything on it.
When I came home and took it out of the bag I had it in, I realized there was a little strip of sticker on the bottom of the pot.
My question Is if it's okay to use, since most likely but not 100% that the sticker was from the bag it was in, and if it was not from the bag, and I just didn't notice it, is it okay since it was only on the bottom of the pot, which is not where the coffee would be touching anyways ?
Answer:
If there is a Chatzitzah between the utensil and the water, the Tevilah is not valid and must be redone (and a new Bracha recited if there was a Hefsek)
That being said, if the Chatzitzah is insignificant and in a place that most people wouldn't care if it remains there, the utensil is Ok to use B'dieved.
Thus in your case , if it's not a big deal to remove and re-tovel, do so. If it is a big bother, you can use it as is, especially given the fact that there is a possibility that it was indeed not there at the time of the Tevilah.
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rAV sHACH SPEAKING
CHIZUK CORNER
As a Zechus for the Refuah Shelaima of one of the Gedolei HaDor, the Telzer Rosh Yeshiva , HaRav Chaim Stein Shlita, R' Chaim Yaakov ben Chasya Miriam, B'soch Sha'ar Cholei Yisroel, we will B'Ezras Hashem post here each day a short Chizuk thought to help us all improve our lives and grow in our service of our Father in heaven, HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
קוה אל ד', חזק ויאמץ לבך, וקוה אל ד'
Chizuk For Today:
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall..
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'
Our holy sages, the Chazal tell us
תנא דבי אליהו כל השונה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם הבא, שנאמר הליכות עולם לו, אל תקרי הליכות אלא הלכות
- one who studies [at least two] Halachos daily is assured a portion in Olam Haba - the world to come. (Talmud Niddah 73a)
Please visit my website www.HalachaForToday.com for archives, Kosher links, Questions and Answers,and other features. Halachos are for study purposes only, and should not be relied upon for final Psak. See Halacha L'Maaseh Disclaimer Here. I welcome all questions on any topic, anytime! Help spread the word of Hashem!
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