Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parashas Masei; Mevorchim Chodesh Menachem Av (Rosh Chodesh will be Monday, Aug. 1)
27 Tamuz 5771
July 29, 2011
Every day, a very short, very applicable D'var Torah is sent out via email from the Chofetz Chaim's Sefer "Ahavas Chesed". This is being done as a Zechus for a Refuah Shelaima of a special woman, a young mother who has been diagnosed with a serious form of cancer R"L, Chaya Meira Mindel bas Chava Golda, B'Soch Sha'ar Cholei Yisroel.
Right now, they have 750 readers and are trying to get to 1,000 subscribers to increase the Zechuyos in Shomayim which are desperately needed.
If interested in signing up, please email: ahavaschesedformeira@gmail.com to receive a daily Dvar Torah from the Chofetz Chaim's teachings.
****
Today's halachos are dedicated L'Zecher Nishmas R' Eliezer Binyamin ben Chananya Yom Tov Lipa on the occasion of his second Yahrtzeit. May his neshama continue to climb higher in Gan Eden and may he be a Meilitz Yosher for his entire Mishpacha.
1) The prohibition against "Negiah" applies as well, if not more so, to most of one's "relatives".
Touching, kissing and hugging relatives may even be worse than with unrelated females, as many relatives are called "Arayos" by the Torah (Vayikra 18). (See Chochmas Adam Klal 125 and Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah Vol. 2 Siman 137 Dibur Hamaschil B'Neshika)
2) The only permissible relatives for a person to hug and kiss are a mother/father, son/daughter, grandson/granddaughter according to some Poskim and a sister below the age of 3 (or 7 according to the Chazon Ish). (See Aruch Hashulchan Even HaEzer Siman 21:10)
All other relatives (Uncles/Aunts, Sisters in law/brothers in law, cousins etc.) may not be touched, kissed or hugged, and all the Halachos of other females apply to them.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) One must do whatever it takes to make sure they don't hug or kiss or touch any of these "relatives" who they are prohibited to touch, and no "Kavod Habriyos" or "Minhag" or "They will be upset at me" answers or excuses are halachically acceptable. (See Mishna Berura Siman 468:23 and Biur Halacha Siman 690:17)
This can often cause friction between "relatives" where one is religious and the other is not yet religious and of course tact should be used to avoid any familial fights.
The best thing is to be honest with them and say that the Torah does not allow you to have physical contact with them, and you appreciate them respecting your decisions, but regardless if they accept it or not, you are forbidden to transgress due to their "feelings". (See Mishna Berura ibid.)
2) If a not yet religious female "relative" tries to hug or kiss you or otherwise have physical contact, you must move away and reject these gestures, as even if the male just stands there and allows himself to be hugged or kissed he has transgressed the prohibition.
Furthermore, by not moving away and allowing the hug or kiss to touch him he has also transgressed the prohibition of "Lifnei Iver Lo Siten Michshol", the biblical prohibition against causing another Jew to sin. (See Kraina D'Igrasa from the Steipler Zatzal letter 163)
QUESTION & ANSWER CORNER
Reader Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers.
These Q&A are taken from the Q & A pages on the Halacha For Today website.
Although the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes only, NOT for Psak Halacha.
Questions can be emailed to HalachaForToday@Gmail.com
Reader's Question:
Does it specifically say in the Torah that during the 3 weeks there should be no parties? Is it really a sin to listen to music?
Answer:
It isn't a Torah prohibition; it was instituted by the Rabbis after the destruction of the temple and it should be taken very seriously. The Talmud (Bava Basra 60b) tells us : All who mourn Jerusalem will merit and see her when she is joyful, and whoever does not mourn Jerusalem will not see see her when she is joyful."
The prohibition isn't the party (even though, those should be avoided too in the 3 weeks), it's the music and the dancing that was forbidden in this time period due to it being a period of mourning for the destruction of the temple.
Even an engagement party or a Seudas Mitzvah may not have music during the three weeks, and surely not a birthday party. (See Mishna Berura Siman 551:16 based on the Magen Avraham).
Live music is surely prohibited, and even recorded music is prohibited. This applies to men and women and even to older children, as this is a national time of mourning. (Ruling of Rav Moshe Feinstein zatzal in Igros Moshe Orach Chaim Vol. 4 Siman 21:4. See also Orach Chaim Vol. 1 Siman166 and Vol. 3 Siman 87. See also Minchas Yitzchok Vol. 1 Siman 111 ).
Many authorities even prohibit acapella style music,which is without instruments, rather with sounds made by mouth to mimic instruments.
Some authorities are lenient with this kind of recording. But it is best to be stringent if possible. (See Shu"t Shevet Haleivi Vol. 8 Siman 127:2, Shu"t Tzitz Eliezer Vol. 15 Siman33:2. See also Sefer Ishei yisroel page 765 who quotes Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita who is stringent. Rav Ovadiya Yoseph Shlita in Shu"t Yechave Da'as Vol. 3 Siman 30 is also stringent)
in mind, that according to the Talmud , it is prohibited to listen to music for pleasure all year round!
This is also the opinion of the Bais Yoseph, Rambam, many other Rishonim as well as contemporary Poskim such as Rav Moshe Feinstein Zatzal. Though we are lenient all year round for various reasons, for these three weeks a year when all Poskim agree that we must be less happy than usual, there is no real heter for listening to music, much less attending a party with live music.
More importantly, The posuk tells us (Tehilim 137:5 and 6) "Im Eshkachech Yerushalayim Tishkach Yemini; Tidbak Leshoni L'Chiki Im Lo Ezkerichi Im Lo A'aleh Es Yerushalayim Al Rosh Simchasi, If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning. Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I remember thee not; if I set not Jerusalem above my chiefest joy."
As Jews, we must never forget that we are in exile and although we are too weak to mourn properly all year round, these three weeks, and especially the last 9 days are important to at least follow the minimal guidelines of mourning instituted by our sages without looking for loopholes.
May we merit the speedy arrival of Mashiach, and the rebuilding of the Bais HaMikdash real soon.
CHIZUK CORNER
This section is dedicated L'Ilui Nishmas the late Telzer Rosh Yeshiva , HaRav Chaim Yaakov ben Rav Binyomin Moshe Stein Zatzal.
We will B'Ezras Hashem post here each day a short inspirational thought to help us all improve our lives and grow in our service of our Father in heaven, HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL FOR THIS SECTION, PLEASE EMAIL IT TO HalachaForToday@Gmail.com
THANK YOU AND תזכו למצות!
זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה
QUESTION OF THE DAY:
At the end of the day today, will you say it was an Olam HaBa day -- or an Olam HaZeh day?
Truth be told, this question is not limited to today -- but should be asked by everyone at the end of the day -- each and every day!
Submitted by daily reader C.S.; taken from the www.hakhel.info daily email
Important Numbers
