Q. A rebbi who arrived 15 minutes late to a class. One of the young talmidim - bachurim came running over to the rebbi and pointed to his (the bachur's) watch. The rebbi immediately gave the bachur a potch for his chutzpah. Later, it turned out that the talmid was not intending in any way to "rebuke" the rebbi, but rather just wanted to show the rebbi his new watch. In fact, the bachur told his mother earlier (before this incident) that he loved the rebbi so much that he wanted the rebbi to be the first person to see his brand new watch. Does the rebbi need to do teshuva and ask mechila for giving the bachur a potch? Or do we say that since the bachur appeared to be lacking in kavod hatora (it appeared as though he were "rekubing" his rebbi), there is no problem with what the rebbi did (potching him), even though the bachur in actuality did nothing wrong?
A. I presented this question to a few local Rabbonim, and I got wide-ranging answers. Some argued, that giving occasionally strong rebuke to a child, even when not actually deserved, is in the spirit of
“He who holds back his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him early.” (Mishlei 13: 24). Parshas Mattos seems to support the point, since Moshe strongly rebuked Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuben, as it turned out, without reason, and there is no record of any apology or that the tribes themselves protested. S’fas Emes explains that they felt honored and grateful to be the recipients even of the undeserved mussar of Moshe.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the rebbi should ask forgiveness from his talmid and explain to him that even teachers make mistakes. He should use the experience to teach how careful and cautious one should be when rebuking others, even children.
The Rov pointed out that the Halacha is that minors cannot grant forgiveness (Baba Metzia 22b, Baba Bassra 143: 2 ,et. al.), and he therefore may have to wait until they are of age and ask mechila again.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Important Numbers
