Q. When there is a contradiction between one’s own family traditions and the shul and community one attends and belongs to. What tradition should one follow?
A. The principle of a family is most fundamental to our Torah and Judaism. From Bereishis, the Torah’s starting point, it does not engage yet in the keeping of mitzvos, belief,s or doctrine.
It is all about the family: Adam and Chava, husbands and wives, parents and children, brothers and sisters. At key moments in our Torah, Hashem Himself defines His nation and His relationship with it in terms of family. He tells Moshe Rabbenu to say to Pharaoh in His name: “My child, My firstborn, Yisrael” (Shemot 4:22).
When Moshe wants to explain to Bnai Yisrael why they have a duty to be holy, He says, “You are children of Hashem your Lord” (Devarim 14: 1). If Hashem is our Parent, then we are all siblings. We are related by family bonds that go to the very heart of who we are.
Therefore, in many of our answers, we quote from Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a, that a person in doubt of what to do should follow his family traditions.
Yet, we may not be able to follow the above always literally, as when one finds himself in a community or institution that follows other Minhagim and traditions and in order to avoid conflict and adversity, one must respect, honor and follow what they do.
Since the cases are often very different and have their own particular merits, details and crucial points Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a, and Horav Y. Hirschman Shlit’a advice that in the above question one should consult with a competent Rabbi familiar with the situation and follow his advise.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
Important Numbers
