- Q. Dearest Rabbi. As you know my wife and myself, are a first year married couple that thanks Hashem, became Baalei Teshuva. I learned recently on an Halacha shiur, that some people abstain from having marital relations during the three days before Shavuot, as our nation did before the receiving of the Torah at Sinai. Since we are hoping for my wife to become pregnant with Hashems will soon, does that tradition apply to us?
A. Sheloshes Yemei Hagbalah or the “Three Days of Limitation” is the name given to three days immediately preceding the Yom Tov of Shavuos. Based on the verse (Shemos 19: 15): He said to the people, "Be ready for three days; do not go near a woman."
Mishna Berura (240: 7) mentions that some Poskim following Kabala teachings, rule that on Shavuos one should abstain from having marital relations. Yet in Biur Halacha (ibid) he quotes Yeshuos Yaakov that if one has not yet complied with the mitzva of having children (that requires having a boy and a girl) the relations are permitted.
Some Poskim maintain that relations are also prohibited during the three Hagbalah Days mentioned above, (Knesess Hagedola, Mekor Chaim quoted in Piskei Teshuvos 494: 10), yet it is also mentioned that the Arizal's opinion is that it is permitted. They all seem to agree that if one has not yet complied with the mitzva of having children there is no prohibition.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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