Q. Can someone speak lashon harah on himself? I remember hearing a story from the Chafetz Chaim that you are not allowed to, is that correct?
Thank you very much.
A. There are a number of printed versions of this known story of the Chofetz Chaim (Tnuas Hamussar 4: 90, Iturey Torah – Metzorah, see also bellow). They all share a common ending that the Chofetz Chaim expressed; that whatever insult and aggression he was object to, was indeed due to him, for having spoken lashon horah on himself.
However Poskim question the correctness of that remark, since the Chofetz Chaim in his sefer (1: 9) rules that you are not to speak ill on others even if at the same time you express wrongs on yourself. He clearly seems to imply that on oneself it would be not be a forbidden issue. Beer Maim Chaim (ibid. 15) quotes as a source for the above, the Yalkut on the verse (Yeshayahu 6: 5); for I am a man of unclean lips, and amidst a people of unclean lips I dwell. The Yalkut appends Hashem's response as; speak ill on you but not on them.
What exactly the Yalkut proves is debatable, since in front of Omniscient Hashem, after all you are required to confess all sins transgressed. (Vekone Lecha Chaver p.620).
The fact nonetheless remains that Chofetz Chaim does seem to say that there is no lashon horah when referring to oneself. (See ibid. Resposa L'Chofetz Chaim 24, Kunters Shmiraas Haloshon p. 24 et. al. for additional proofs as in Eruchin 16a, in regards to "Apey Tlossoh")
It would also seem that there is no lashon horah prohibition from the Talmud (Brochos 34b, Sotah 7b) where Rav Kahana mentions that it constitutes an act of brashness the one who openly relates his sins, as it says (Tehilim 32: 1); "Praiseworthy is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is concealed". Tosafos (Brochos 34b d.h. kisuy) explains that this refers to one who is insolent and does not show remorse. It would clearly seem that there in no lashon horah prohibition involved.
Shailas Rav (p. 452) quotes that when Horav Chaim Kanievsky Shlit"a was asked about the inconsistency of the story with the above quoted Halacha, he replied; that when the listener does not realize that one is speaking ill only about himself as in the story, it is indeed prohibited, since he may come to deduce that lashon horah is permitted. (See also similar in Rabenu Yonah – maamar 227).
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a explained that although it is not prohibited to tell others unnecessarily about ones shortcomings and mistakes, it is generally advisable as an eitza tova, not to do so.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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