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FRUMToronto Articles Ask The Rabbi Show More
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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.

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# 3085 Into the Drink?
  Q. Recently you posted a Q&A about drinking on Purim where ones parent has asked a child to not drink on Purim. In the answer you write that the boy should listen to his parents and not drink. However you then write in the name of Rav Shlomo Miller that notwithstanding the boy should anyways drink on purim (against his parents wishes and the psak)

I told that that I know you and that I know you certainly did not intend to create a “backdoor” heter to drinking however they feel from their experience that this message is often what boys rely to drink against halacha and their parents wishes.

A. This is question and answer (3058) that you seem to be quoting: "Q. I'm a Yeshiva Bachur (after high school), staying in the Yeshiva for Purim. If my mother asked me not to drink any alcohol during the Purim seuda, do I have to listen to her?"
To what we answered: "Halichos Shlomo (19: 25) maintains that one should listen to one's parents and not drink.

Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that, you should drink a small shiur (amount, such as rov kos - or most of a small cup) of weak or diluted wine, to comply with the mitzva of drinking wine by the seuda."

If you are familiar with the over three thousand shailos published in Frum Toronto and Bais Dov Yosef, you would know that we quote the different opinions of other Poskim available and conclude with Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion.

This question deals with a healthy individual of age, that is permitted to drink alcohol, and as mentioned in the answer above, the Rov only permitted, as I underlined above "drink a small shiur (amount, such as rov kos - or most of a small cup) of weak or diluted wine, to comply with the mitzva of drinking wine by the seuda."

I well understand the very laudable and meritorious concerns that the worthy institution you represent very correctly sponsors, yet you have to differentiate and distinguish between healthy and of age individuals that don't have alcohol issues, as opposed to the ones that do and should not drink at all.

I hope we all agree that the Halachos of Kiddush, on Shabbos, Yom Tov, Arbah Kossos, Simchas Yom Tov, Purim, Benching, Weddings, Bris Milah, etc. in which wine is required should not be removed from the Shulchan Aruch and Mishna Berura.

I showed Horav Miller you letter last morning and he agreed again that his answer is correct. I must add that all the shailes are double checked by Horav Pam Shlit'a, Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a and other Rabbonim in the Kolel and the city.

You requested that we should help to publicize that this is not a “backdoor” heter to drinking,' which I'm more than willing to do. Since this Ask the Rabbi column is very well read not only in Toronto but also worldwide, I'm more than willing to include the Halacha correct answers to your further questions, that can provide such support.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a.



Posted 3/12/2021 11:02 AM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3084 Name your Dream
Q. My partner (see question above) also had a dream were his mother told him that his true name is not just Moshe as he has maintained all his life, until the dream and as is written in his Kesuva. She revealed to him in that dream, that he was also given after his departed Zaide the name Lemish. He started using both names for a year, but since his friends made fun of him. he decided to avoid the added name and as he always did, just be called Moshe. His question is since he did adopt that name for a year, and was so called to the Torah, does he have to keep it and also does he have to change his Kesuva?

A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that he does not have to keep the new name, and should revert to the old single name as written in his Kesuva.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/11/2021 11:20 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3083 Dream Away
Q. If a partner of mine told me that his deceased mother came to him in a dream and told him that he owes me five thousand dollars and gave me an envelope with the cash. I went through our accounts and could not find anything to reflect his noble assertion, but he totally insists he owes me the money, what should I do?

A. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 30a) teaches that "divre chalomos lo maalin velo moridin,' or matters of dreams don't make any difference, and Shulchan Aruch (C.M. 255: 9) rules accordingly especially on monetary issues. Although, there are many references in Tanach and the Talmud to the importance and trascendence of certain dreams, Rambam (More Nebuchim 2: 41) explains that it depends on the type of dream and dreamer and indded some of them can have the quality of prophesy, however, mostly do not.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in this particular case, the proper procedure is to reasert clearly to your partner that as far as you know, and after going through your financial records, your partner does not owe you anything. But if he insists you re willing to receive it only as a gift. (You may use it for charitable purposes).

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/11/2021 11:10 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3082 Leave in Peace
Q. It says in the Mishna Berura not to leave until the end of davening (siman 55) unless he heard all the kaddeishim until aleinu. May one be lenient with this when leaving to go to another shul where they struggle with a minyan and one was asked to come there (although one prefers to daven elsewhere but he wants to go there after having davened to help with their minyan)? Is it necessary to announce to others why one is leaving to avoid chillul Hashem?

A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that you are permitted to leave after Aleinu and all the Kadeishim until then were recited, to go and complete another minyan. The Rov added that it is sufficient if you tell even one person before you exit the reason why you are leaving early.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/11/2021 10:18 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3081 Rise From the Dead
Q. I was told that Horav Miller mentioned that one of the reasons for our terrible Covid Pandemic is related to the lack of honor given to the dead such as cremating the bodies. Did he really say that? What is the reason or source for such an assumption?

A. I was also present when Horav Miller Shlit'a asserted that one of the causes for the current pandemic is the desecration of the meisim (deceased) including the cremation of their bodies and profanation of their ashes.

The Rov quoted Sefer Chasidim (451) that teaches when a 'dever' or plague strikes a town, we ought to check on the way the departed are being buried, such as their bodies being placed on the grave improperly, or their burial vestments are decayed or moldy. This statement is quoted also by Be'er Heitev on Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 352: 1). See Sefer Chasidim (730) for a similar ruling. (See also 'That Is My Answer' on this parsha)

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/11/2021 10:13 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3080 Late or Up to Date?
Q. This year (5781-2021) when Erev Pesach is on Shabbat, does one read the Haggada then or is it better to read it on the prior Shabbat as the Shabbat Hagadol drasha is also preceded to Parshat Vayikra?

A. Mishna Berura (430: 2) maintains that although the Shabbos Hagadol Drosho is imparted on the prior Shabbos Vayikro, the Haggada is said on Shabbos Erev Pesach.

However, some Poskim disagree, since it will be recited a few hours later and it would take away its novelty especially from the young ones. Nitei Gavriel (Pesach 1: 5: 11).

Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should follow his received traditions and if not known one should follow the Mishna Berura.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/11/2021 10:04 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3079 Welcome Aboard
Q. See question above. Can one invite a prospective Ger who is already in the process of conversion to the Pesach Seder?

A. As mentioned on last question (3078), Gentiles in principle should not be invited to the Pesach Seder.

Chashukei Chemed (Pesachim 99b) quotes Siddur Yaavetz that the proclamation at the beginning of the Hagada: 'Kol dichfin yesei veyechol," is an invitation to the Gentile poor to enter and share with us, as the Halacha requires to give them food first, because of 'Darkei Sholom" or maintaining good relations and peace with all. The next sentence of "Kol Deitzrich" refers to the Jewish needy. He explains that it could be refering to food that does not have to cooked.

He also relates about a Godol that was approached by some foreign important diplomats with a request to partake with him in his Seder, and he did invite them. However, he mentions that Horav Eliashiv zt'l explained, that they probably did not stay for the meal.

As in the question above, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if you inform the guest before Yom Tov that you cannot cook anything special for him and he will be sharing with you the food already prepared, in need it is permitted.
The Rov added that the guest should not be given a kezais of the Afikomen.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a



Posted 3/7/2021 11:03 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3078 Care and Share
Q. Can one invite a totally irreligious relative, that one wants to be mekarev (bring close to Judaism) to the Pesach Seder?

A. Shulchan Aruch and Mishna Berurah (512 : 1) rule that one should not invite Gentiles on Yom Tov for a meal, since we are concerned that one may cook additional food for them which is prohibited. Mishna Berura (ibid 2) mentions that an unbeliever or one who does not observe Shabbos is considered like a Gentile and cannot be invited.

However, Chazon Ish (Y.D 1: 6) maintains the ones that were raised and educated in non-religious are considered like Jews. (See also Sdei Chemed (40: 86), Piskei Teshuvos and others).

Tzitz Eliezer (8: 17) permits when everything is cooked before Yom Tov, similar to the way we do on Shabbos,

Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if you inform the guest before Yon Tov that you cannot cook anything special for them and they would be sharing with you the food already prepared, it is permitted especially since the intention is kiruv.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/7/2021 10:44 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3077 More or Less?
Q. If in a newly established minyan there is a disagreement whether to say yotzros (added tefilos for special dates) or not, what is the correct thing to do?

A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in principle every congregation should follow the already established minhogim and traditions. In this case, since there seems to be a disagreement, a vote should be taken by the members of the shul and the opinion of the majority should be followed.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit"a


Posted 3/7/2021 10:06 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3076 Eat One's Matza and Have It Too?
Q. Someone that has a minhag not to eat matza thirty days before Pesach, can he eat then shemura matza left overs from last Pesach that were likely placed on a chometz table during the year and he would certainly not eat them during next Pesach?

A. On question 2116 regarding one that has a minhag is not to eat matzos thirty days before Pesach. But since he only eats shemura matzos during Pesach, If he can eat regular machine matzos and gebrocht matzos in soup or matzebrai, since he doesn't eat gebrochts on Pesach. To what we answered: "Rema (O.H. 471: 2) rules that on Erev Pesach it is prohibited to eat matzos that can be used for the seder. Mishna Berura (ibid. 12) adds that some accustom not to eat matzo from Rosh Chodesh Nissan.

Mishnas Yaakov (3: 471), Kitzur Hilchos Pesach, Nitei Gavriel (1: 2: 10) and others maintain that the minhag is thirty days before Pesach. Igrois Moshe (O.H. 1: 155) explains that this is the time we begin the preparations for Pesach.
However, as mentioned the prohibition applies only to the matzo that one can consume at the seder night.

Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if the eating of matzo is necessary for diet purposes, one can put the well marked matzo in contact with bread and thus make it inedible for Pesach. Then he may consume it even after Rosh Chodesh until Erev Pesach. when it would be prohibited. The same may apply to gebrochts.
On this shaila, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should also eat them as gebrochts (if he does not eat them on Pesach) or actually mix them with crumbs of bread.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a



Posted 3/5/2021 1:15 AM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3075 Shabbos Purim Seuda?
A Q. Someone was eating the Purim Seuda last Friday and drank wine and time went by fast, (he didn't fall asleep). Then he realized that it was already Shabbos (he davened Mincha before the seuda). If he still wanted to eat and drink something or continue with the Shabbos seuda, did he have to make kiddush for Shabbos first? Did he have to make a brocho on the wine since as is he was already drinking wine. When he benches, does he say Al Hanissim or Retzeh or both? Can he eat the Shabbos meal first and then daven Maariv?

A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 271: 6) and Mishna Berura rule that before sunset he has to stop eating and if he wants to continue with the seuda, he has to recite the Shabbos Kiddush first. Since he was already drinking wine he does not recite P'ri Hagefen again on the Kiddush. Since he wants to eat then the Shabbos Seuda, he should bring to the table the two Shabbos Chalos and cover them as done usually in Shabbos, together with the rest of the bread already there. He and the others present who heard the Kiddush, should eat at least a kezais of chala, but they don't have to wash hands again and recite Hamotzi a second time. Poskim disagree if he should eat that kezais from the Lechem Mishna Chalos, cutting them as is usually done (Purim Meshulash), or it is not necessary (Haelef Lecha Shlomo 1: 113).

Poskim disagree when the present recite Birchas Hamazon after they ended their mixed Shabbos and Purim meal, if they add to the necessary and essential 'Retze' (since they ate at least a kezais after Shabbos began), also 'Al Hanisim' since the seuda began during Purim or no (Mishna Berura 291: 2). The reason being that after all they are contradictory. They also disagree if 'Al Hanisim' should be said as usual at the second brocho or at the Horachamons, by the end of Benching.

Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is better to bentch before the Sh'kia, following with Kabbolas Shabbos and Maariv and then the Shabbos seuda.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a



Posted 3/5/2021 1:10 AM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3074 Giving Trouble
Q. Does one comply with Shalach Monos when giving chomentashn or cakes to a diabetic?

A. Nishmas Avrohom (695) quotes RS'Z Auerbach zt'l who maintains that one complies, since the receiver can offer them to members of his family and guest. However, he disagrees. See also Birur Halocho (2: 695)

Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one can be lenient

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/5/2021 1:08 AM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3073 Smell the Shalach Manos?
Q. I have a dear friend that is in hospital and is being fed intravenously as he can't digest any food. I would like to send him Shalach Manot to rise his spirits this Purim. He complained to me that he dislikes the smell in his multiple people room. Would I comply with this mitzva if I bring him an air freshener with a scent he likes. Since this year Purim is Erev Shabbat, time is of the essence. If I know I can comply with this important mitzva I would do every effort to have the deodorizer reach him on Purim, otherwise I would wait until after Shabbat. Does one comply?

A. Tzitz Eliezer (9: 33) rules that cigarettes, cigars, smelling and chewing tobacco, although in Yom Tov some Poskim permit their use, since they consider them to be for those who use them Ochel Nefesh or needed as actual food. However, in regard to Shalach Monos you require actual edible and nourishing food.
Other Poskim disagree and permit them for Shalach Monos also (Divrei Yisroel 1: 223, quoted by Piskei Teshuvos 695: 17).

One may argue that the same may apply to other desirable and needed scents and fragrances. And as they also argue, they may be enhancers for getting a greater appetite and eating better. Besides, some Poskim also permit, after one has already complied with proper food Shalach Mones, to send other desirable non-food gifts as Shalach Mones and called them by that title (Divrei Yisroel 1: 223, Beis Sheorim 380, Piskei Teshuvos 695: 17).

Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that you should make an effort to have the air freshener delivered during Purim if this is going to give the patient happiness and cheer him up.
See also question 3055 above, 'The Real Spirit of Purim.'

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a



Posted 3/5/2021 1:04 AM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3072 What a Place!
Q. Dear Rabbi I'm a Shaliach that collects for an important Torah institution and I visit Mexico City usually once a year. I read recently and also checked it out, that the downtown of that city is full of buried corpses. I'm a Cohen and I do visit businesses on that section of town. Is that allowed?

A. In principle, you are right in your concern. I remember as a youngster, when they were excavating the downtown area to build the Metro subway train, they indeed found almost continuously human remains all over that area.

Aztecs were known to sacrifice their conquered enemies. See: Feeding the gods: (Science June 2018); "That sacrifice, one among thousands performed in the sacred city of Tenochtitlan, (downtown Mexico City). would feed the gods and ensure the continued existence of the world. Death, however, was just the start of the victim's role in the sacrificial ritual, key to the spiritual world of the Mexica people in the 14th to the 16th centuries." See also; Tumas Hatehom on Talmud Pesachim 81.

However, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in practice a Cohen may walk on those streets, since the tumah or impurity conveyed by Gentile bodies is in Halacha disputed and there is also no certainty that in every single space one steps on, there are still human remains extant. On that doubt, a Cohen does not need to abstain.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/2/2021 10:21 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3071 That's a Shame
Q. One went to a shul to wish mazel tov to a Rav for a simcha. One planned to stay only a short while at the kiddush, since one has a guest in his house who is waiting for him. However, as one prepares to leave, the Rav gets up to speak, and one feels unable to wait until the end of the drasha, since his guest is waiting. May one get up and leave, or is it disgracing the honor of the Rav? (The person was sitting right near the Rav.)

A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should stay and avoid embarrassing the Rov. When he reaches home, he should explain what happened to his guest.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/2/2021 10:15 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3070 Directions for the Phone Directory
Q. Is a phone book muktze during Shabbos? Could it be used then by youngsters to keep the score on games played, (by turning the numbered pages to the desired number), such as Scrabble?

A. In principle a phone book is muktza since it is usually used for a prohibited task (Horav Dovid Paam Shlit'a). However, if used just for finding an address that one is permitted to reach on Shabbos the phone book is not muktze.

Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in principle it can be used also for youngsters to keep score of the results of a permitted game. The Rov stressed the importance to use when possible Shabbos time for learning Torah.

See question 2259 regarding playing Scrabble during Shabbos and questions 1247 and 1635 on other games such as a Rubik cube.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/2/2021 10:08 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3069 An Eye on Your Apple
Q. If someone recited Haetz bracha on an apple or any other fruit and there was apple sauce in front of him but he did not have in mind to include it, does he have to say a Shahakol bracha on it?

A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that he complies with the Haetz recited first and does not have to recite any other blessing on the apple sauce, since the sauce is also a derivative of the fruit

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/2/2021 10:00 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3068 Checking the Bags
Q. I was wondering, when I open my Tefilin bag, as all others I recall seeing, the zipper opens from right to left. The Tefilin Shel Rosh (head Tefilin) are placed on the right and since the Shel Yad (hand Tefilin), which we put on first are on the left side. Why is this not a case of 'Ein Maavirin Al Hamitzvos' (prohibited passing over the compliance of a mitzva) on the Shel Rosh, which appeared first?

A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that as long as the zipper does not open completely, it would be somehow difficult to extract the head Tefilin first and therefore they are not considered available at that time.
Only when the zipper opens completely they are readily available, and then the Shel Yad are closer.
In reality Tefilin bags that open from left to right are also common.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a


Posted 3/2/2021 9:51 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3067 The Robot and the Monkey
Q. In hospitals that already use robots for carrying and delivering meals for the patients, can one place Shalach Manot to be delivered by them to the sick?

A. Chashukei Chemed (Megila 7a) quotes a story of A Rov that complained to the Satmar Rebbe zt'l, that he received Shalach Mones delivered by a child dressed as a monkey. The Rebbe replied that even if a real monkey would deliver them, one would also comply. He added to the wondering Rabbi, that so is the opinion of the Chassam Sofer (Gittin 22b). Namely, that when the Torah demands that a person should do the mitzva himself, then you have to rely on a proper Shaliach or agent to carry it out in your name. Not so, when to begin with, the mitzva is to be done by using an agent, then even a monkey can also deliver.
However, Chashukei Chemed adds that since the purpose of sending Shalach Mones, is to manifest and create friendship and affection, sending it with a monkey may have an adverse effect.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that you indeed comply by sending the gift with the robot usually used, with the permission of the staff.
(Robots are preferred in some hospitals because of different reasons, including reliability and the avoidance of contamination).

Rabbi A, Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit"a



Posted 2/28/2021 12:11 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)


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# 3066 The Customs of Costumes
Q. Can one wear a Purim costume when davening?

A. Shulachan Aruch requires that one davening the Amida, to be dressed properly as if he would be standing facing a king.

Therefore, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should not wear a costume at that time.

Rabbi A, Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit"a


Posted 2/28/2021 12:07 PM | Tell a Friend | Ask The Rabbi | Comments (0)



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